Sober
by LovelyFlowerAK
Summary: The first time James and Lily get drunk are very interesting stories. As are the last. And, really, everything in between.
1. A Spark in his Eyes

Lily arrived late Friday afternoon of her Easter break, when most students were still home with their families. She was in her third year, and it was finally occurring to her that being a part of a family didn't mean loving them unconditionally. After her and Petunia's screaming matches lasted for five days straight, only to cease when they lapsed into cold glaring silences, Lily snapped, and decided to floo back to the castle early. It wasn't fair for Petunia to treat her worse than dirt, even if they were sisters. Lily found she had sisters, real sisters, with Marlene and Dorcas and Laura. She pictured Petunia's condescending glare, and scowled. Lily couldn't even remember why they were fighting anymore, but her parents' disappointed looks cut her like a knife. She knew they would have loved more than anything for the two to put differences aside, at least while Lily was home, but it seemed impossible.

She spent the rest of the day wandering the castle, too absentminded to think of dinner. Her mind wandered to finals coming up, Marlene's new boyfriend, a fourth year from Slytherin that she didn't think deserved her, and finally ended on the dreary mood that had gripped the castle even when students were here, but now seemed even more pronounced. This was partly because of the atrocious spring weather as of late, where Lily felt like she hadn't seen sun in weeks. Another part was the copious amounts of homework the third-years were beginning to receive in each class. But, the largest part, she'd have to admit, was sadly because of James Potter.

It had been three and a half weeks since the Transfiguration class where he was pulled out. Lily remembered his triumphant and smug face when he was the first in the class to turn his beetle into a stopwatch, and how it fell into shattering despair when his name was called. Lily reflected, he must have seen his father's death coming, as he'd been sick for quite some time now. Lily learned this from Laura Corner, who's parents were family friends. Dragon Pox had left Fleamont Potter, a once healthy Auror, bedridden and weak for the past six months. Remus told Lily that James had been dealing with his dad's transformation from a strong healthy man to a shell of a person who could barely feed themselves poorly, generally not speaking about it at all. While they were studying last week, Sev said Fleamont was a crooked Auror that put the "wrong side" behind bars. Lily promptly left, and waited for him to turn up and apologize. It took him less time than usual, probably sensing he'd gone too far with the comment. The whole school was talking about it, as well as the lack of anything remotely fun lately. It was as if the spirit of Hogwarts had been sucked out by a dementor. Sirius, usually one of the biggest pranksters, had fallen into a sad quiet state similar to James's, as Fleamont was akin to a father to him. Remus and Peter followed them around, Remus always trying to comfort, Peter looking at a loss for words. All of the mischief of the Marauders was gone, and many students who knew or who's parents knew Fleamont were in a sad state of mourning.

She thought about how empty James' eyes have seemed lately, devoid of his normal arrogance, but also any mischief or humor or kindness. It was like staring at a hazel wall; completely flat. Although James and Lily have a complicated relationship, even at fourteen she could see that, it didn't mean she wouldn't give anything to see the spark that used to be in them. She thought about when her uncle died years ago, and how close she was to her dad, and she honestly could not imagine how losing a parent must feel.

Her mind began to wander to sad far off places, until she was startled by a strange tinkling noise and muffled laughter. Curiously, she turned her attention to the nearby corridor, of which she previously assumed was deserted. She heard muffled voices coming from a broom cupboard. She knew what went on in those things, and turned to leave while blushing slightly. Before she could go though, the door swung open, its contents revealed. She gasped.

"Potter? What the _bloody_ hell are you doing?" She hissed.

"Lily? Oh, _Lily."_ James looked up and grinned at her stupidly. He was with some girls, Holly Yaxley the sixth year Ravenclaw and Rebecca Merryweather, her friend. The girls were giggling at James, who was stumbling towards her. Lily noticed the reproachful glances the girls gave her, as well as the empty bottles of firewisky littering the broom cupboard floor. She also noticed the girls were only flushed and giggly, while James's eyes were drooping and he was struggling to stand up. She watched in horror and fascination, (she had rarely seen her parents drink more than a glass of wine let alone anyone this pissed) as he tripped over his robes and fell right into her.

"Oh!" He exclaimed, seeming surprised he was suddenly on the ground with her underneath.

"Merlin James." Lily snapped, her temper flaring. "Can you walk two feet without bloody tripping over yourself?" The girls guffawed behind them. She stood haughtily, brushing off her robes. As James struggled to stand, Lily began to fully grasp the situation. Suddenly she was furious.

"Are you _insane?"_ She cried at James, who was now using the walls for support. "Do you know how much trouble we'll be in if anyone sees? And _you two!"_ She directed her anger toward the girls. "How could you let this happen? He's only a third year! What were you thinking letting him get in this state?"

"Hey, he wanted to have some fun! Who are we to stop him?" Yaxley asked, feigning innocence.

"Plus it was dead hilarious" Rebecca added shrugging, "well until you came along that is."

"Wazzamatter Lils?" James asked weakly, "It's all harmless, really. Hey, didja know your hair looks just like a campfire?" He began to reach for one of her loose strands of hair when he stumbled once more.

Lily couldn't believe this mess. She looked at James, who was now on the floor again, trying and failing to grab at her hair. He had a serene grin on his face, and Lily realized how much she had missed seeing his smile. That thought was pushed aside however when he bent over and threw up right onto her shoes.

"Urgh!" She cried as the girls behind her shrieked with laughter. James looked up at her, eyes full of confusion, and mumbled an apology. Lily was thoroughly disgusted, but also knew that if she was found now, both her and James would be in monumental amounts of trouble. Not to mention it was a little hard to be mad at someone who was just so helpless and confused, as James seemed to be now.

"Okay, okay, let's get you up." She said, trying to keep her voice calm. "James I'm going to take you up to bed." He smiled up at her as if the best news he's ever heard is that she was going to help him. It was a little sweet to be looked at like that, she admitted to herself begrudgingly. She carefully removed each of her vomit-drenched shoes and placed them next to the door. In socks, she stepped around James to his back, and hauled him up by his armpits. It was no easy feat, since he was mostly dead weight. He finally put one arm around her, and lolled his head up on her shoulder. The girls had been watching and snickering at Lily's ordeal. She made up her mind then that she very much didn't like them, and decided to show it by using her wand to levitate and throw her soiled shoes at their heads.

"What the hell?" Yaxley shrieked. "Stupid girl, we aren't doing anything to you!" She had been nailed in the shoulder, Rebecca right in the chest.

"Oh sod off." Lily snapped. Dragging James with her she yelled behind her back in their direction, "Go find someone else to be the butt of your fun." She hid a satisfied smirk as the girls looked like they were about to vomit themselves from the mess they were covered in.

"Lily." James mumbled her name a couple times.

"Yes Potter?" She asked.

"Did you just throw your _shoes_ at them?" He asked. "Lily Evans _threw_ shoes at the two popularest girls in school." He let out a silly giggle.

"Not only shoes, but shoes filled with your puke." Lily corrected, laughing in spite of herself.

"You really are one of a kind... You're your own girl." James was grinning, and trailed off, as he had forgotten what he was trying to say.

"Yes, and you are absolutely plastered." Lily told him, grinning.

"What? Shhhh." James said to her, putting his finger sloppily up to his lips and winking. She giggled at him and at the over-all ridiculousness of this situation. Never had she ever pictured James Potter's arm wrapped around her back for support, and her not hexing it to shrivel up the moment he touched her. She now looked closely over at him. His cheeks were flushed with drunkenness, and his black hair was even messier than normal. He had some cobwebs, presumably from the broom closet, stuck in his pitch black locks. She took her other hand and ruffled his hair, shaking them out.

"I thought you hated when I did that." He said, a bit puzzled.

"Oh shut up. I was just brushing spiderwebs!" Lily said defensively.

"I knew you were waiting all this time for my moment of weakness, so you co' take advantage of me and touch my precious curls!" He exclaimed, slurring. "I mean, this is the most sought out head of hair in school. Girlz line up after I go to the barber's to get a piece." He wiggled his eyebrows at her and ran his hand through his hair dramatically.

"Potter, you are the biggest prat I've ever met." Lily giggled. "How can you even get though the door with your head that big?"

"Oh well it looks big but most of it is just the hair." He informed her. She laughed hard, and realized this was the longest conversation she'd ever even had with James. She was about to tell him this, when she noticed a queer look on his face. Suddenly, he took off running down the corridors.

"Potter! Get back here!" Lily cried. What in Merlin's name was he doing?

"You'll have to catch me Evans!" He called back. "I'm taking you on an adventure!"

Now thoroughly annoyed, Lily huffed and sprinted to catch up. James was too fast though, no doubt from his Quidditch training. Not to mention she kept slipping in her socks. This is what she gets for trying to help, she thought. If they got in trouble now, she promised herself that she would not rest until he paid for it.

She almost ran into him when he stumbled to a halt in front of a portrait of a some fruit. To her surprise, he reached up a hand and tickled the pear, and it let out a girlish giggle. The portrait swung open to reveal the kitchens. James jumped inside, Lily in tow. She'd never been down here before, but was delighted by all of the friendly house elves that came to greet her. Since most students were gone, they were enthusiastic to help the two as much as possible.

"Master James!" A few squeaked. They all seemed familiar with him, probably as he was usually in detention helping them with the cleaning. Lily rolled her eyes, as James was treated like a celebrity down here. And he took it in stride.

"Humphrey! Looking as dashing as always! And, Nenny, is that a new uniform?" The elf he addressed blushed and giggled.

"James, can you please explain to me why we are here and not upstairs putting your drunk arse to bed?" Lily asked, tone laced with sarcasm.

"Why certainly Evans!" James grinned. "Cici? The Potter Special please." The elf he had addressed nodded in delight and ran off to the stoves.

"Should I even bother to ask what the Potter Special is?" Lily inquired, amused.

"No no, I shan't ruin the surprise." He stated dramatically, but he leaned in and his voice dropped to a whisper. "But I will tell you the sheer deliciousness of this dish will not only make your taste buds feel as if they discovered God, but will leave you believing in miracles again."

"Potter, your breath smells like a mini bar!" Lily laughed, pushing him away. He then tried to chase her down, breathing loudly like a dragon, but he tripped over a large baking pan.

She grabbed his arm then, and dragged him over to the corner table, so they didn't get in anyone's way. Soon the elves came with two large plates and the main dish. Turns out the Potter special was cookie dough topped with chocolate pudding, ice cream bananas, walnuts and chocolate sauce. With a cherry on top of course. Biting into it Lily determined that it was weird, but it was delicious. They ate in silence, and she watched James animatedly take each bite and exclaim in exultation. Once they finished the elves took the dishes away, and faster than Lily could wipe her face of whipped cream, James was gone again.

It was annoying that James was going vigilante on her, but he was so drunk and so much happier than she had recently seen him, that Lily didn't care as much about chasing him down. If it was a month ago, she reflected, she would have turned him in to Dumbledore by now, or at least gave him a good hexing. She found him staring at a portrait of two witches trying to catch a phoenix.

"This girl is Madame Henrietta of Wales, and she needs a new feather to impress the prince. She loves him, but he only cares for lavish things. Little does she know he has ten phoenixes at home. Poor girl is out on a fool's errand." He concluded solemnly. The portrait woman stared at him for a bit before grumbling that her name was Natalia and she had no bloody clue what he was talking about. "Henrietta, dear, the chase has addled your mind!" He told her in a reassuring tone. The woman gave up and walked off to a different portrait. Lily tried to hide her amusement, and looked up at James when he whipped around. His eyes were alive.

"What about him, what's his story?" He asked, pointing a finger at a different painting. This was a portrait of a stuffy man with brown hair and a bulbous mustache. He gave them an irritable huff.

"Oh you mean Fredrico McFlufferton?" Lily asked, playing along. "Well, he is obsessed with plant husbandry, and began to experiment on human subjects. You see that mustache? Actually made of a turnip." James howled with laughter. "Sadly," Lily continued, "His life's work was all for naught when the turnip-staches revolted against him and went to fulfill their lives in the wild."

"You really are something Evans." James wiped his eyes on his shirt sleeve. Lily grinned. The two began running down the corridors, stopping when they pleased and pointing to a random painting, demanding the other explain it. It was funny, Lily thought, this whole day she'd been feeling so lonely. Who knew she would find comfort in James, who she usually generally disliked, and a drunk James at that. He was beginning to sober as they went, slurring his words less. His hazel eyes were beginning to become more alert. She hadn't thought much about getting caught anymore, as there was virtually no one around. They passed Rebecca and Holly by the dungeons once, and Lily stuck her tongue out at them. She hadn't thought of Petunia all day.

Suddenly James came to a halt, and Lily almost ran into him. He was staring up at a portrait of a couple lions dozing. He had quite a different expression on his face. Lily looked up at it, and back to him, unsure.

"So, what's their stories Potter?" She asked him lightly.

"They were my dad's favorite." He said simply.

She looked over at him, startled. His eyes were clearly lost in a sea of thoughts. She saw a pain she would have never wished on anyone play across his face. He then closed off, and they went back to the hazel wall she'd seen the past couple weeks. Lily felt like her heart hurt. She couldn't see him like this again.

"So tell me about him." She said firmly. He looked over at her, as if being woken up. "I know lions were his favorite now," Lily said, "But tell me more."

He looked taken aback at first. Lily didn't blame him, as she'd never shown any interest in any aspect of the life of James Potter before now, let alone his family.

"Well" He began unsurely, "He was a Gryffindor too, which makes his love for lions a bit cliche." Lily smiled encouragingly at him. "He always had his ties untied, and said he'd never stand to be choked like that. But he still wore them, which I never thought made any sense." James allowed himself a very watery smile.

"He was brave. He was the kind of person to put all of himself into something. He loved cheesy old black and white Muggle films where the actors were terrible. I would always complain. The Chudley Cannons won the league when I was nine, and it was the only time I've ever seen him cry because he was so happy. He'd surprise my mom with her favorite candies at work, he..." James choked, and ceased talking. Lily opened her eyes, having closed them to picture James's father, and noticed tears running down his cheeks.

"He was the best man I've ever known." James whispered brokenly. His eyes were swollen and red. Lily rushed to grab him as he stumbled, now crying in earnest. She looked up at the lions snoozing in the portrait, and had to hold back tears of her own. Never had she seen James Potter cry.

She led him, much like she did when she took him from the broom cupboard earlier, with her arm wrapped around his shoulders. She led him as he cried blindly into her hair. She got him back up to the Gryffindor common room, and he was beginning to calm down. She guided him up the stairs to his room, his shoulders drooped in defeat. Fetching a cup of tea from the elves, she grabbed blankets and went back up, knocking softly. Hearing a croaking answer from inside, she came in.

He was laying in bed with all of his clothes still on. She came over and wrapped the blankets around him.

"I'm sorry I snotted in your hair." He joked weakly.

"I'll get over it." She smiled kindly down to him.

"I feel like such a mess." He muttered, shame-faced. "I only drank with them earlier because I couldn't stand being numb anymore. All I wanted to do was be happy for a while. But it seems impossible that I ever can feel anything other than..." He gestured down at his puffy eyes, at a loss for words.

"James, it is okay to hurt." Lily said. "It is going to be hell. You're going to feel irrevocably sad. But one day, it'll start to hurt less, and then less." He looked up at her as if she was a new color, with such reverence and admiration. She felt a bit uncomfortable but pushed on. "It'll never stop hurting. But maybe one day you can look up a the painting of those lions and smile, because you feel your dad in them, and in everything you do." Lily finished, feeling like that was a very lame way to end, but not knowing what else to really say.

James looked up at her, expression unreadable for a bit. Then he broke out in a grin.

"You chucked your shoes at Yaxley and Merryweather." He let out a low chuckle.

Lily laughed in spite of herself. "They deserved it." She said.

James looked up at her, with a bittersweet expression.

"I had a really good day with you Evans." He said softly. "Thanks for sticking by my side, even though you hate me."

"I don't hate you James." Lily said. She was surprised by how much she wanted him to know this. "I had a really nice day too, even when I was chasing your drunk arse all over the castle." They both laughed.

"It'll be okay James." Lily continued. "Even though it might not now."

"I know." He said softly. It was the first time she believed he actually did.

Spontaneously, she bent down over the bed and kissed him on the cheek. In the kiss, she put all her emotions, how sorry she was about his father, how much he surprised her that day. It was quick, and when she was done, she met his eyes for a second, and saw a light in them she hadn't seen for weeks.

"There's tea on your bed stand if you want. Get some sleep." She said, and turned to go. When she quietly shut the door behind her, James let out a sound that sounded suspiciously like "Shit."

That was the first time James Potter had ever gotten drunk.


	2. The Night before Sixth Year

And it was the last. It has been three years, and still that was the first and last time James Potter had been drunk.

Sure he'd have a couple glasses with the boys when they decided to get rip-roaring, but he never allowed himself more than a buzz. It was on principle, he thought. That day was one of the worst of his life, until it was one of the best. He never wanted to be that drunk again, because it would pull all of that sadness back up from his stomach, but it would also remind him of clear leaf-green eyes, and socks sliding on the corridor floors after him. He'd always remember how her lips felt on his hot cheek, bringing him back to sanity. That was the day, even though his fourteen year old self couldn't comprehend it at the time. That was the day he fell in love with Lily Evans.

He had spent the rest of third year and fourth year trying to irritate her as much as physically possible. He would set her schoolbag on fire, turn her hair navy blue, hex her shoes to constantly slip every time she took a step. All he wanted was her to notice him, talk to him again, as she had kept her distance after _that day_. Looking back now, he knew it was the absolute worst thing he could have done, but as a totally smitten fourteen year old with no concept whatsoever of how to deal with his new emotions, all he could think was how much he wanted her to notice him.

So all of fifth year he tried to ignore her. Realizing the damage he'd done, all he wanted to do was give her some space so one day she may look at him without dislike. He tried to date other girls. He even snogged a bit, all awkward unsure lips and snickers. And they were usually nice, but when she walked in a room it was like all the lights dimmed except one on her. No girl could change that.

He gave up on dating quickly. Fifth year took a bit of a turn for the better, as Remus and Marlene seemed to convince her to give the Marauders a second chance. She sometimes sat with them at meals. She began to tutor Peter in Potions, and would even joke with James sometimes. Either that or she scowled and called him a git, but it was better than nothing. She once told him she liked his attempt at being mature. Of course that was the same day he'd hexed a Slytherin into crawling like an inch-worm for the entire day, and once she found out, she took it back and gave him a good yelling. But it was still better. They were almost kind-of friends. Until the Incident at the lake with Snape.

That had been the worst summer of his life. He spent it with the boys, and it turned out that was the summer they decided to start drinking. Except James of course, but not for lack of trying. Sirius just couldn't understand James's aversion to it all, but Remus told him to back off. It almost seemed like he knew something, but of course he didn't, as James had never told anyone about that day in third year. The only person who knew he had gotten drunk before had campfire hair and probably wished he didn't exist.

The first time Sirius got drunk was the beginning of that summer. He snuck some elvish wine from his dad's stock to spite him. He got all the boys together at James's and drank the entire bottle himself. He claimed it was because he couldn't stand to be a prude, but James and Remus shared a meaningful look that he missed. Sirius would like to claim he handled his liquor, but that night he spent almost all of it with his head in the toilet. They played Truth or Dare, and Peter rode his broom across James's yard stark naked. Sirius gave him five galleons and Peter came back vermillion-faced. Remus showed them all his spot-on impression of Dumbledore, and James told them about all the letters he'd sent Lily, with no reply from her. Sirius, who had been quite a spectacle in all of his drunkenness, quickly grew somber. He said he'd be back, and went downstairs. They caught him trying to take his broom to Lily's to tell Evans what she was really missing. It broke James's heart a bit. But then Sirius began to puke and the night wound down. The second time James saw Sirius drunk that summer was a week later when he showed up at his doorstep in the pouring rain, soaked and incoherent. He'd ran away, he couldn't do it anymore. James had welcomed him with open arms.

The first time Peter got drunk was shortly after. They'd decided to try to sneak into a Muggle pub in London. Remus was the only one who the bartender considered of age, but gave almost all of his drinks to Sirius and Peter. The two stood up on the bar and loudly sang the Hogwarts school song. Luckily any Muggles there were so plastered themselves they didn't think to wonder what the song was about. After that they all got kicked out. Peter and Sirius had found some girls that were giggling along behind them. James and Remus didn't like them, because they kept telling them how _adorable_ they were for not drinking, and clearly they just weren't mature enough to understand it yet. They wandered London, and James thought about Lily. She lived close, he knew. He thought of the letter he'd finally gotten back from her, telling him to stop bothering her. He snapped out of his thoughts, though, when he noticed Peter and Sirius had disappeared. Remus and him found Sirius passed out by a streetlamp next to a fancy restaurant, with a very angry Muggle man telling him to move his arse, he was scaring away business. Dragging Sirius behind them they finally found Peter, wrapped around one of the girls snogging her brains out. They peeled him away from her and he became angry. He said that at school no one ever noticed him and they were just jealous that some girl thought he was more special than them for once. James felt like he'd been slapped, but knew Pete wasn't actually angry. Probably just sad. So, ignoring his shouting, he wrapped Pete in a huge hug, hailed for the Night Bus, and took him home. As expected, he found an owl tapping at his window the next morning with a long and heartfelt apology.

The first time Remus got drunk was quite the story. James had an end of the summer party at his place, and invited most of the soon-to-be sixth years. Sirius, of course, had somehow found a couple cases of mead and firewhisky, and wouldn't tell James where from. James begrudgingly allowed Sirius to take them out, but only after the party was in full swing and his mum went to bed. He found out later that Sirius thought it would be funny to spike the punch as well. Alice had three glasses before someone told her. Turns out that was a good thing though, because she finally got up the courage to run up to Frank, push him against James's fireplace, and kiss him soundly. Everyone cheered, as they were almost all drunk and had almost all seen that coming for ages.

Remus, as not on Prefect or babysitting duty, was convinced by all of his friends (mainly Sirius) to play a drinking game called Fuck the dealer. Turns out he was the Dealer, and he got Fucked. He ended up taking body shots off of a couple Ravenclaw girls who James knew from rumors were mad about him. They tried to chat after, but he'd run off to go dance, and they lost their chance, which left Pete and Sirius rolling on the ground laughing at his obtuse attitudes towards women. Laura showed up late, and looked worse for wear. Her mascara was smeared under her eyes, but she told James it was a long story for when they were all sober. Insisting he hadn't had a drop, she took him into his dad's old study and told him she was gay. He felt like cold water filled the room, as she started crying saying she told her mom earlier and she didn't take it too well. And she was going to tell Lily but she couldn't, so she came running here to try to forget about it, but now she knows that's stupid because she can't _ever_ forget. James ended up holding her and stroking her hair for a bit. He tells her how loved she is, how there is nothing wrong with her and that he could never stop caring for her, and neither could any of her friends. They hugged and James had to say, their friendship was definitely closer from that point on.

They came out of the study to a scene much like from a Muggle movie. Remus was dancing with James's lamp, the shade on top of his head. The rest of the guests were cheering him on, and he'd blow kisses at those who cheered the loudest. Sirius and Peter had began a game of strip poker with some girls on the other side of the room, and clothes were thrown pell-mell around the floor. A Hufflepuff boy named Mal Jordan had taken James's only house elf, Greggie, and was dancing with him in a ballroom-esque manner. His little feet were barely touching the ground as he swung him around. James sighed, knowing he would be in deep trouble the next morning when his mum found the drapes tore down, and punch spilled everywhere. Not to mention the bathroom where Alice was currently puking her guts out, while Frank held her hair.

He heard a loud knock on the door, but before he could answer, Sirius ran for it, in some other girl's dress. James didn't even want to know what had happened to the girl who's dress he had stolen. He opened it dramatically, and there was, hand still raised in mid-knock, a sweatpants-clad Lily Evans.

James felt the background mayhem fade around him. He stared at her eyes, that reminded him of sunshine through green leaves. They were widened in shock, no doubt horrified at the scene in front of them. He noticed she had more freckles than before summer, and her brilliant orange-red hair was cut shorter. Then, all at once, as Sirius ushered her in, things began to be put into motion again.

"I need to talk to someone who _isn't_ hammered." Lily said in an annoyed tone, waving off Sirius's attempts to get her on to the dance floor.

"You've come to the right guy then." James said softly. Lily whipped her head around, and stared at him, green eyes searching his face. James wondered if she was thinking what he was, that this is the first time they've actually spoken since the Incident.

"You're not joining in on the bafoonery around me Potter? I'm shocked." She said flatly.

"Seems like I can make more mischief with all my mental states in tact, you see." He said lightly, avoiding her obvious question. "So Evans, what brings you to my humble abode?" He gestured around him.

She scoffed and said something suspiciously like _humble, my arse_ under her breath before leading him into the kitchen where less people were.

"Have you seen Laura?" She demanded to him. 'She was supposed to stay at my place, and just ran off without any say-so. I figured since this is the biggest social event of the year, she'd be here." She looked angry, and James thought back to his conversation with Laura before. Guilt flashed in his stomach.

"Look Evans, I know where Laura is, she's here to try and forget something that happened earlier she's upset about.." He said, trying to be as vague as possible.

"She's upset? Why wouldn't she talk to me about it then? I'm her _best friend!"_ James cringed. He'd only seemed to get Lily angrier.

"Lily listen to me." He put his hands on each of her shoulders, a gesture that seemed to surprise both of them. "Laura is going though something big ok? She didn't know how to handle it, so she ran away. She talked to me a bit earlier, and I know she'll want to talk to you, but you _have_ to wait till she's ready." His utter seriousness seemed to shock Lily into silence.

"Look, Lils" He continued, "Just go easy on her okay? Don't burst out in your famous temper till you've heard her out."

"My _famous-_ oh Potter!" Lily grit her teeth in anger. Then, seeing James's smirk and realizing she was doing exactly what he said, she stopped and closed her mouth. Plastering on a big cheery smile, Lily looked up at James and said "I'm perfectly calm."

James guffawed, which actually made Lily laugh with him. The two giggled together, until Laura's shouting was distinguished in the next room. James looked at Lily, and she seemed unsure of what to do.

"Well that's my cue I guess." She said. "Thanks for the advice Potter." And she walked away.

James watched her go, firey hair swinging behind her.

He definitely needed some air. Bursting open the doors to his deck, James stepped out, inhaling the cool summer night's freshness. He heard the crickets and muffled voices of his party guests. Leaning against the railing, his mind was everywhere at once, remembering how Lily's eyes narrowed in dislike when she first saw him tonight. He didn't blame her. After all of the crap he'd put her though, the pranks she'd had to clean up as one of the Gryffindor prefects, and especially after the Incident, she had more than enough reasons to never want to speak to him again. He thought back to the Incident, and what an arse he'd been. But he also remembered what Snape said, and how pain lashed across her face like a whip. He hoped he'd never cause that kind of pain to her. Closing his eyes, he pictured her and smiled. Even looking like she was about to go to bed in her sweats, Lily Evans was beautiful. Of course, it was more than that to him. He loved her kind soft lips that put all of their effort into smiling. He thought of her freckles, like galaxies of stars against her skin, and how it was like you could see the depths of her emotions in her eyes. They lit up in such a funny way whenever she was about to be goofy, or figured out an answer in class, or when her temper began to flare. They were the most unique green he'd ever seen.

"Prongsie?" A weak voice called. James opened his eyes and snapped up his head. It was just Remus, who must've slipped outside when he was daydreaming. He was smoking a cig, which was weird because James had _never_ seen him smoke before. James walked over to him, who was now coughing grittily on the smoke.

"How's it going, Moony my lad? Is getting pissed all it's cracked up to be?" He asked cheerfully, thumping Remus in the back. Remus looked at him like a little kid.

"It's nice. I like how it makes my arms and legs feel tingly." He responded simply. James snickered, but then saw the hard expression on his friend's face.

"I don't deserve it." Remus continued, "I mean, I don't deserve _this,_ any of it." He gestured wildly around him. James looked over at him seriously. It wasn't the first time Remus had said something along these lines. It was as if because of his condition, he didn't believe all of his good qualities mattered. No matter how much the boys objected, Remus always considered himself a monster. It made James so angry, because out of all the people he knew, Remus was the last to deserve feeling such a way.

"Remus listen to me." He said firmly. "You deserve all of this and more. You're one of the best people I know." He grinned, and added "Sincerely" after seeing Remus's skeptical expression. Slowly, a small smile began to grow on his friend's face.

"Lily has you all wrong you know." He said, "I mean, sure you're a git sometimes. And your ego could be deflated a bit."

"Why thank you Moony that makes me feel heaps better." James joked. Remus laughed and shoved him.

"No, no what I'm _trying_ to say is that you're so much more. And that's what I told her!" He finished happily. Now James was confused.

"I'm sorry, what did you tell who?" He asked.

"Just before, I told Lils how great you are! I told her how you write to your mum every single day at school, and how you are so kind to let Sirius stay here, and how you're so brave when you're a stag and help me!"

James laughed and felt fondness for his friend wash over him. He was sure Lily didn't listen to a word Remus said, but it truly was the thought that counted. Then something occurred to him.

"Moony did you say when I was a _stag_?"

"Yeah!" He said enthusiastically. James was shocked into silence. "I mean she already knew about my _furry little problem_." Remus joked. "So I thought I'd just tell her about you too! Now she knows how brave my best friend is." He finished, smiling serenely.

Holy shit. This was bad. James rushed inside, ignoring Remus's attempts to call after him. He needed to find Lily, to beg her not to turn him in. All he could think was the girl who hates his guts and is a Prefect just found out something that could not only get him expelled, but sent to Azkaban. Not to mention how this would effect Remus if Dumbledore found out his best friends spent every full moon with him. He had suspected that Lily knew about Remus's condition before this, as the two were pretty close and she wasn't an idiot. But his ability to turn into an Animagus was something else entirely, and he wasn't sure she'd be as willing to keep this secret. He began to search the dance floor. People called to him, but he ignored them. He began to frantically search some rooms, accidentally walking in on Sirius and some bird doing things he _really_ wished he hadn't seen in his closet. Why he thought Lily would be in his closet anyway didn't occur to him, he was just getting desperate to find her. Finally Laura flagged him down.

"You're looking for your dear girlfriend, right?" She asked lightly. James scowled at her teasing, but she ignored him and continued. "We were just talking about some things, well, _you know..."_ she said a bit nervously. James tried to slow his frantic heart beats to take a moment to reassure her.

"And I'm sure Lily took it all well then?" He smiled knowingly at her and she smiled back.

"Said she knew for some time actually..." She grinned. James noticed her clear blue eyes were watery. He gave her a hug, and offered her a place to sleep, as she began to yawn hugely.

"Well after a night of spilling my most intimate secrets I couldn't turn down sleeping in one of James Potter's extravagant guest rooms." She joked. "Lily's in the dance hall by the way."

Snapping back to reality, he thanked her and hurried away. He got to the dance hall, a room he hated because it was only used for his mum's business charity balls, full of stuffy old witches and wizards with narrow minds and loads of old money. He had thoroughly blocked off the hall before the party with a couple locking charms, but he was unsurprised to find Lily must've broken them. The door was ajar, and he found her sitting on the floor in front of the large fireplace in the center of the room. She'd started a fire, casting an orange glow similar to her hair around the room. Nearing her, he saw her eyes were swollen and a couple of spare tears were left on her cheeks, assumably from her and Laura's talk earlier.

"Alright Evans?" He asked softly. She started, clearly lost in her own thoughts to have heard him enter. She rolled her eyes and quickly wiped her face.

"Potter." She said neutrally "I see you've decided to grace me with your presence."

"Well I would've gotten here sooner, but the utter destruction upstairs made it hard." He joked. Lily looked at him, rolling her bloodshot eyes. But it wasn't as harsh as James was used to. He used this time to Summon a couple squishy chairs and soft blankets with his wand. Lily had returned to staring at the fire, and was surprised when he ushered her to move, laying the blankets down on the floor for them.

"I figured this was nicer than dusty marble." He explained. She offered him a tentative smile and thanked him.

"Look Lily I wouldn't bother you, as you're clearly trying to be alone right now." James started, determined. "It's just I know that a very drunk Remus told you some things earlier, some things that could get me up to my ears in trouble." She was watching him, expression unreadable. "The thing is, I know you don't like me, but can you just do this for Remus and _not_ tell anyone? Think of me what you will, but Remus is my best friend and he doesn't deserve to get suspended or expelled because of me. He's a good guy and shouldn't be punished because of what I do. So please, _please."_ He knew he was starting to beg, so he trailed off rather than say anything that would further humiliate him. Lily looked at him with a soft expression.

"He told me those transformations were the most pain a person can endure." She said quietly. "He said that to me in third year when I figured it out, his condition. He didn't think I'd want to be friends with him after I'd put it together. Now how stupid is that?" She asked, a sad smile on her face. James felt riveted on every word. Lily continued.

"I'd see him every month, the day after... It was horrible. His eyes would look so terrified when he remembered stuff from his transformations. Then last year, they stopped. I mean he'd still come back looking worse for wear, but he seemed less scared and alone. I thought maybe he was just getting used to it, but then he told me about you. I'm assuming Sirius and Peter do about the same thing as well?" She asked. James nodded woodenly. Lily's eyes bore into him, full of sincerity.

"There are some things that are more important than a few silly rules." She ignored James's teasing incredulous face and continued. "What you and your friends do for Remus, that's real selflessness. Not to mention incredibly complex magic. But don't let that comment inflate your ego anymore Potter." She warned. He chuckled.

"So we're okay then?" He asked.

"We're okay. I won't tell a soul James. I promise." She said with a tone of finality. He gave her a lopsided grin, which she slowly returned. They both looked at the roaring fire for a bit, lost in their own thoughts. The silence stretched, but it never felt uncomfortable. It was nice, James reflected, just being in her kind and calming presence. He looked over at Lily, who was biting her lip, deep in thought. (James tried not to think of how adorable that was).

"I can't believe Laura told my sworn enemy her secret before she told me." She said after a while, amused.

"I can't believe the girl of my dreams showed up at her sworn enemy's house party." James joked. Lily gave him a chuckle, and looked up at him, green eyes deep and unfathomable.

"Thanks for telling me what you did before. That was very kind of you." She said. James didn't know how to respond, so he stayed quiet and let her finish. " You know you're not really my sworn enemy right?" She asked, surprisingly serious. James was a bit taken aback.

"I mean I wouldn't blame you if I was," He muttered, head bowing. "I sure can be a git sometimes, can't I?" She laughed lightly and put her hand on his arm.

"You're thinking of what happened. Right after the OWL?" She said knowingly.

"I've always just referred to it as the Incident in my head, really."

Lily looked at him. "I have to apologize for that."

" _You?_ " James cried, incredulous. "You weren't the one being a total areshole for no good reason other than some silly misguided cry for attention!"

She laughed softly. "Well that may be true, but I also said some things to you that were rather nasty, and I really didn't mean them. I was just mad. Mad at Sev, mad at this stupid war, just... Mad." She finished, looking away.

James's face was somber for a bit. But it then broke into a huge grin. He reached over and tackled her into a huge hug.

"Ugh! Potter!" She giggled and protested. "That was _not_ an invitation for you to hit on me!"

"Oh shove it Evans," He said laughing, tugging her close, "We just had a fight _and_ made up! That was a first for us! I think that warrants a hug." Lily laughed and hugged him back, in defeat. He was secretly thrilled to be so close to her. He noticed that she smelled like lilacs and was surprisingly warm, like a little Heating Charm was all wrapped up in her body. She shoved him playfully. Then, he noticed her ears perking. Her face lit up.

"I love this song!" She exclaimed. James strained to listen. It was some Muggle song Remus must've bribed them to put on. He smirked at her, bopping her head to the beat. He stood and offered her an arm. She looked up, reproachful.

"Oh come on Evans! This is a dance hall you broke into for Merlin's sakes." He said grinning.

"Game on Potter." Lily grinned, and hoisted herself up. She took his hands in hers, and began swinging him around with much more strength than he thought she had in her tiny body. She began to move crazily, and released him, spinning across the room. Laughing merrily, he ran over to her and took her hands again. All those dreadful dance lessons when he was a kid were finally paying off, but she wasn't following his conventional methods, preferring to dance like some crazed animal.

"You just gotta feel the beat and go with it!" She shouted to him. He began to mimic her moves, jumping and twisting as the beat changed, feeling all the happiness in his gut explode from his fingertips. They were both laughing together. She showed him some Muggle moves, like the Lawn Mower (whatever that was), and he showed her some wizard moves, like the _Bucking Hippogriff._ Truthfully, he'd made that one up on the spot, but he took immense pleasure in her giggles as he bucked across the hall. He felt like his grin was so big it would fall off his face. This was the most fun he'd had all summer. The music continued in the background.

 _Dance the night away..._

And they did. For three more songs they danced, eventually even coming together for a slow song. James had never felt more elated. They ended up on the squishy chairs, exhausted from their dancing. James fetched them some biscuits and they ate in silence.

"This was by far the worst summer of my life." Lily said bluntly. James looked over, startled. She chewed forcefully on her cookie, looking cross. He knew it was probably because of Snape, and he tried to push the wild feelings of jealousy down in his gut. The Incident had shook Lily's life in a completely different way than his, but he could still see its mark on her.

"Funnily enough I was thinking the same thing." James said, "Until tonight." She seemed surprised by his sincerity. She grinned.

"Tonight definitely was unexpected I'll give you that. I thought I was going to eat ice cream in my PJs and gossip with Laura. And now here I am eating cookies and sharing life stories with _James Potter._ "

"I knew my irresistible charms would pull you in soon enough." He joked. She rolled her eyes playfully.

"You're such a prat Potter. But I'll have to give it to you, you certainly do know how to surprise me. First I learn that you're housing Sirius because his parents kicked him out, then I learn you spend every full moon trying to comfort a rampaging werewolf that is your best friend?" She giggled. He smiled, delighted to have made such an impression on her. He didn't get it though, because he was sure if she was in his shoes she'd do about the same thing to protect her friends. And he told her that, which made her blush unexpectedly, which then made _him_ blush because he made her blush. They lapsed into quite.

"So what do you say to being friends this year Evans?" James asked in a business-like manner. "If I promise to tone down my general gittishness, will you promise to try to tolerate me when I just can't help it and my gittishness slips out?"

He held out a hand for her to shake. She considered for a bit, then grinned. "It's a deal then Potter." She shook his hand heartily. He laughed, then a muffled crash from the hall. James looked over towards the door, apprehensive.

"I suppose I should check to make sure the house isn't completely destroyed." James said, disheartened at the thought of leaving her.

"Oh those sods are fine. I feel like kicking your butt in a dance contest. What do you say friend?" She asked, a mischievous smile playing at her lips. He was shocked, but definitely wasn't about to say no to her invitation.

"I guess I'd say you're on _friend_." He said grinning. And they went back to it. They danced to late into the night, only to be interrupted once by Remus, who was beside himself with joy and drunkenness to hear of their new agreement. James put him to bed, slipping back into the dance hall to find Lily curled up in the blankets by the fire, sound asleep. She was so beautiful, even with drool on her cheek and smudged makeup from sleep. He took the chair next to her, staring into the fire and reflecting on the best day of the worst summer of his life. He woke up in the morning to a sharp pain in his neck from the awkward angle he'd slept in, and the sound of his mother's appalled screams. He didn't even feel as much dread as he normally would have, because when he woke up he saw Lily, red hair fanned out about her, grumbling sleepily at the noise.

And that was the first time Remus got drunk. It was also the first time Laura told anyone she was gay, and the first time Alice and Frank kissed, and the first night Lily and James had ended up as tentative friends. The worst summer of his life turned out to have the best ending he could have ever hoped for.


	3. Barmaid's Broomstick

**Hi guys! I just realized I haven't put any notes or introductions or anything before now.**

 **So, basically, I own no rights to anything. Those all belong to Queen Jo.**

 **Also, PLEASE send in reviews! I'd love it :)**

 **Hope you all like the story so far!**

Lily Evans had never been drunk.

Sure she'd had a couple butterbeers when the Gryffindors won a match (which seemed almost constantly, now that Potter was captain.) Once and a while, Laura and Alice and her would sneak down to the lake and dive in at midnight. Marlene was always off with some guy, but came when she could. The girls would get hammered, but Lily always assigned herself as the group mom and didn't drink more than a drop, as to help her friends back to the castle later. When she saw James that day in third year, his helplessness and loss of control, she never desired to feel that. It seemed, she reflected, that he never did again either, as she'd never seen him drink with the other Marauders, who did until they were dancing on the tables and passing out on the toilet. Although, they had only been real friends now for a couple months, so what did she know.

Lily Evans had never been drunk. As in fall-down, dance on tables, drunk. Until now.

"Lils, _LILS!"_ She snapped her head back to Marlene, who had been trying to tell her something, but she couldn't remember what. God it was hard to focus in this state.

"As I was saying," Marlene continued grinning and lacing her fingers around some Hufflepuff's arm on the couch, "What you need is a good snog or two. I know Henry Finch has been dying to get into your pants since last year, and he's fit for a Slytherin. A good shag is all you need. That'll get all these crazy ideas out of your system. Although, I don't know what you're so up-up-upset about." She had began to hiccup. "You two would be cute as hell together."

"Stop it Marls!" Lily scoffed. "He doesn't like me that way anymore... And I'm just crazy and..." She trailed off. She felt honest-to-god tears in her eyes. Why was she getting so emotional? It wasn't like her, her, (feelings? loving?) _whatever it was_ , it wasn't like that was more than a silly crush. She hoped.

That's why she decided to get so pissed in the first place. Stupid Potter, she thought, scowling at her drink. Her mind began to muddle, so she decided to down it. Marlene gave out an impressed whoop.

"You know, 's about time you decided to get plastered with us." She said grinning. She shooed the random boy away, and sat next to Lily.

"You're my best friend Lil, and if making you feel better means drinking to oblivion, then _by God_ I must make it my mission to help you as much as I possibly can." She waggled her eyebrows and Lily giggled.

"I love ya Marly" She said loudly. Marlene smiled and hugged her tight. Lily _was_ beginning to feel better.

"Oh, no, miss Prefect's here." She heard a loud booming call from behind her and looked up to find Sirius's upside down face full of mischeif.

"You gonna shut us down, like you did last time Lils? It wasn't our fault the bathrooms began to flood, and the Slytherin's common room did that on its own!" She giggled loudly at him, and he smiled back. The two had began an unlikely friendship in the middle of fifth year. They were partnered for Charms, and Lily heard a snooty Ravenclaw say he was surprised any of _lily's kind_ would even pass any OWLS. Sirius promptly turned around and punched him in the nose. He got a month's detention for it, but Lily stopped by each one and chatted with him after her prefect duties were done, so it wasn't that bad.

"Hey Siri, member that time in fifth year?" Lily asked loudly, tugging on his sleeve. "'Member it Siri? You punched that guy, you punched him in the nose!" She laughed as if it was the funniest thing she could have ever heard. Sirius glanced down at her, surprise etched on his face. He glanced over at Marlene who nodded in confirmation.

"That's right my lad, our dear Lilykins is losing her drunk-ginity tonight." Marlene laughed as Lily pulled Sirius down on the couch by the two. He landed awkwardly on Marlene's lap, knees nocking Lily in the nose.

"Well we must make sure that this is a night our Lily will not forget then!" Sirius grinned, "Well, until she starts to forget."

"Boooo." Lily said, making a face at Sirius. "That was so corny Padfoot." She had taken to using all of the Marauder's nicknames ever since that night when Remus had told her their secret identities. That was the same night her and James decided to become friends. It all changed since then, she reflected. Sirius ruffled her hair, then suddenly she was being dragged upwards somehow, oh it was by Sirius and Marlene, oh and they're taking her to dance in the middle of the common room where the chairs have been moved out of the way, and why hadn't she thought of dancing? She _loves_ dancing.

The room was spinning slightly, but she felt alive and care-free and just _wonderful._ The music was beautiful, so she began to sway her arms, smiling up at the ceiling. It was decorated with shooting stars that actually moved, and a banner with a shock of bright colors that loudly proclaimed Gryffindor's victory today against Slytherin, and effectively cinching the House Cup for the team. The banner was adorned with prancing lions. Lily smirked up at them, positive James had something to do with those, as lions were now his favorite. Earlier that week, when she was helping him with his potions essay he made her promise to wear his lucky Quidditch socks. She thought it was kind of gross but she obliged. Looking at her feet, still adorned in the maroon snitch socks, she grinned. Then she caught herself. No, she wasn't going to think about _youknowwho._ She looked all around her, and saw Alice and Frank in a deep snog session, and Laura heading her way, pretending to vomit as she passed them.

"How ya doing Ging?" She asked, slinging an arm around Lily.

"Super fantastic!" Lily exclaimed. The song changed to one she'd never heard. "This is my favorite song!" She cried, and she had no idea why.

She began to gyrate much quicker and move her feet at a rapid pace. Laura laughed merrily and danced beside her, until a Ravenclaw girl she'd been flirting with all night called her over. She looked over at Lily, eyes asking if it was okay for her to go. Lily grinned happily at her friend and shoved her off towards the girl. She was so proud of Laura, who was now very comfortable in her own skin. As the music got more and more upbeat, Sirius swung her and Marly around. They danced like maniacs. She began to get a few amused looks from party-goers, but she couldn't be bothered. That is, until a certain Gryffindor chaser finally decided to make his entrance.

"Oh, no..." Lily said to herself.

Cheers erupted as James made his way into the Common Room. He'd played more spectacular than normal today, Lily had to admit, taking a Bludger to the ribs in order to make an incredible goal. He was probably coming right from the hospital wing, getting patched up, as Lily saw some purple bruises on his stomach still. She could see those bruises, because James had taken off his shirt and promptly tied a Gryffindor flag around his neck like a cape. Lily knew she was gawking but couldn't help it. She'd never really seen James with his shirt off before, and his strong sculpted chest gave her heart palpitations. _Drat him!_ She thought. How was she supposed to get over her silly crush if he came in flaunting his amazing arms and abs? It was like asking someone to stop looking at a Veela!  
He was looking around the room, dramatically bowing to the cheering Gryffindors. Lily would have found this behavior horribly arrogant a few years ago, but laughed now. James had matured so much, and grown up where it really counted. It didn't matter to her anymore that he could be cocky sometimes. Once his sweeping gaze met her undoubtably gawking stare, he grinned and made his way over to her. Before her drunk mind could comprehend, he'd picked her up and swung her around in a looping circle. She squealed in shock and giddiness.

"What did I tell ya Lils? I _knew_ the socks would work!" He shouted, beaming and putting her down. She giggled and looked up at him, the room now spinning considerably around her. He still had black warpaint under his cheeks, which was now smudged from playing. It made him look undeniably sexy. _NO._ She wasn't going to think about how amazing James was, how fit he looked, because he didn't want her anymore and there was no point. It was just a silly crush. Who wouldn't be attracted to strong arms, and adorable hazel puppy dog eyes?...

"No!" She said aloud. Though she didn't mean to. James looked startled. She tried to backtrack "I- I mean... Well it's just so bloody unfair!" She said, looking at his chest and eyes. That definitely wasn't effective backtracking. He now looked at her as if she'd sprouted horns.

"Am I missing something Evans?" He chuckled. She felt very confused, and had no idea how to explain her humiliating outburst. Luckily, Marlene swooped in just in time to save her from her own drunken antics.

"Oh Jamsie don't worry about Evans here, she's just had a couple more drinks than usual, or _ever_ for that matter." Marlene said to him, taking Lily and leading her off. James stared curiously after them. Lily stumbled a bit over something, and thought she saw concern flash in his eyes.

"What are you doing?" Marlene hissed. "I thought the plan was to get rid of those Potter butterflies, not undress him with your eyes!" Lily looked at her, indignant.

" _What?_ I wasn't doing that! It's not my fault the prat has his shirt off and his chest is..." She trailed off, smiling. Marlene cracked up.

"Deny it all you want Lily, but you are positively absolutely smitten with James Potter."

" _Shhh!_ Keep your voice down!" She thought she had seen Sirius looking over. She turned back to her friend. "Aren't you going to try to help me here?" She asked.

"Fine, fine." Marlene said, exasperated. "If you want to keep living in denial, who am I to interfere? Let's go find you a boy to snog." She said, tugging Lily's arm.

It turned out a _lot_ of boys wanted to kiss Lily. Through the night Marly set Lily up with Rupert Diggle, Nathan Clearwater, and Lucas Trife. They were all nice, and she did like dancing with them. Too bad she didn't want to kiss any of them. Even in her drunken state, she pushed Diggle away when he made a move, and ducked her head when Lucas gave it a shot. She didn't even get that far with Clearwater, as he had a pubescent mustache growing on his upper lip that reminded Lily of a woolly caterpillar, and when she told him so he didn't take the comment well. Sirius and Remus, who had watched the whole interaction, laughed raucously. She stuck her tongue out at them, which caused them to chase her down and tickle her feet till she apologized. Then snogging boys was removed from her mind.

"Is that _Lily Evans?"_

 _"_ I guess the Prefect is taking off work tonight..."

"Look at her dancing! She's hammered..."

Lily heard snippets of people saying these things, but she really couldn't give a damn. She was upset however, because no matter how much she tried, her body seemed to gravitate toward James's. They ended up chatting a lot the night, but she'd realize what she was doing, and run off. He seemed very amused at her antics, which only made her more bloody annoyed at him because he was just unfairly charming. She did notice he had a rather stony expression on when she was dancing with Clearwater, but she couldn't tell if it made her more mad or happy.

She drank more then, too. She drank firewiskey for the first time, liking the way it burned through her veins. Sirius gave her some weird elvish gin that she spat out immediately, hating the taste. Her, Remus, Peter and Marlene tried to have a drinking contest. Mary came and interrupted them with a loud burst of firecrackers she'd been wanting to set off all night. As Seeker on the team, Mary had played a key role in them winning the Cup, and was in a boisterous mood. Everyone stopped their chatter to _ooh_ and _aah_ at the whizzing lights dancing around the room. Lily asked her where she'd gotten the fireworks and she said from James's room. Lily felt like cold water was dumped on her head, the effect was so sobering.

It wasn't as if Mary and James were a couple or anything, but Lily saw the way she looked at him. They were together almost _all_ the time with Quidditch, and James hasn't shown interest in dating anyone else, so there were plenty of rumors that the two were bound to get together soon. It's not like he was still hung up on her anymore, as he'd hadn't tried to ask her out once since fourth year. Lily used to find pleasure in this fact. Then the two became friends at the beginning of the year. She was happy to get to know him and the Marauders more, as they continually found ways to surprise her. Her and James were fast friends, and now she even considered him one of her best. It seemed like they could talk about anything when they were together. She'd watch his Quidditch practices and he'd help her with Transfiguration or Prefect paperwork. Them and their friends would go to Hogsmede together, and all get a big booth at Three Broomsticks. He told the funniest jokes, and she loved the way his face lit up when he saw her, as he was so happy to be her friend. And this went on for months, this easy friendship. But lately, he would give Lily butterflies, and make her feel _different_ then before, like light was pouring out of her whenever they were together. Lily wrote it off as their friendship becoming ever stronger and didn't try to entertain any other possibilities. She really never questioned it, until earlier today. Mary and James were sitting at breakfast, both a bundle of nerves in their own way. Lily was trying to reassure them before the match, when James got up and took Mary by the hand, as to pull her up as well. Mary took this time to smack a kiss soundly on James's cheek. She said it was for good luck. He looked surprised, but definitely not upset. Then the two left for the pitch. And Lily was left there feeling as if she was falling down a long dark hole and being hit by the Hogwarts Express all at once.

 _Speak of the Devil_ Lily thought, as James was striding up to the group, cape still tied around his lanky frame. He slung an arm around Mary, boasting of the 'best Seeking skills Hogwarts ever did see' she possessed. Lily tried to convince herself it was in a brotherly way. She felt tears prick her eyes. _Drat Potter! And drat me for being so drunk!_ She thought. She had no control over her emotions whatsoever. Her friends were talking animatedly around her to one another, but she didn't care to join in. Swallowing, she turned to go, and felt a strong hand on her shoulder.

"Alright Evans?" It was James. He looked at her softly.

"I'm fine thank you very much!" She snapped. He was taken aback.

"Lily, you've been acting strange all night. Did I do something wrong?" He asked. She couldn't believe the words coming out of his mouth.

" _You?_ How could you ever do anything wrong? You're so bloody perfect, the world would come to an end before James Potter did anything wrong!" She exclaimed, exasperated. James was very bewildered now. Lily pushed on, feeling hurt and petty. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have many boys who want to snog me and I shouldn't keep them waiting." And Lily stalked off. She heard Peter behind her, murmuring to James, _Bird's a feisty one isn't she?_ to which he told him to shut up.

Lily walked blindly out of the portrait hole and down the corridor. She didn't want James to see her crying over him like some lovesick dope. Hearing footsteps behind her, Lily's heart sank. As she was turning to tell James off, she stumbled. Strong hands grabbed her, preventing her from falling, but they weren't James' long fingers. Startled, she looked up, and right into Sirius's silver eyes.

"Hey Ging." He said, grinning. "Figured since you stormed out on us, you'd want to be alone. But I never really do what anyone wants, so."

She was about to laugh, but instead she burst into tears.

"There there love." He said, stroking her hair. She wept and babbled to Sirius and he listened.

"Couldn't really make you out there Lils but I assume this has to do with a certain shirtless Marauder?" Sirius asked. Lily looked up and wiped her tears.

"I'm that obvious then?" She asked, sighing in defeat.

'Well, only to someone who's paying attention. James is so mad about you he can't see the evidence right in front of him." Sirius chuckled.

"James isn't mad about me." Lily scoffed. "He hasn't asked me out in ages! And he was just hanging all over Mary." She sniffled. The memory still stung.

"He only sees McDonald as a teammate. Seriously Lil you'd have to be blind not to see it. He looks at you like the sun shines out of your arse! I'd be lying if I said I wasn't jealous sometimes." That made Lily laugh softly.

"So what should I do now?" She asked him, like a little kid. "Everything's such a mess."

"Oh you'll figure it out." Sirius grinned ruffling her hair. "I'd reckon the first step would probably be to talk to him."

"But confronting your problems is _so hard."_ Lily whined. Sirius barked out a laugh and the two headed back for the common room.

She was welcomed back by cheers, as the party was now in full swing. She saw James at the other side of the room, in deep conversation with Remus and some others. He had his Planning Face on. She shook herself. _You're no chicken Evans,_ she thought. It was now or never. She began to march purposefully over to him, but when she reached the fireplace, Alice ran up and hugged her, dragging her away before she knew what was happening.

"I think Frank is going to propose!" She whispered in delight. Lily shrieked and tackled Alice to the ground. They rolled around filled with joy and excitement.

"I'm so happy for you Al. You and Frank are soulmates." She said. Alice giggled and explained that she had went up to his room to look for more fireworks and heard him in a murmured chat with Peter. It seemed that Peter was reassuring him.

 _""She's gonna say yes.""_ That can only mean one thing right?" Alice asked. Lily nodded happily, and the two jumped up and down together.

"Speaking of soulmates..." Alice trailed off, directing a meaningful look towards James. Lily shoved her and giggled.

"He probably thinks I'm bonkers, I've been acting like a fool around him all night." Lily sighed miserably.

"Yeah I heard your little spat earlier. Although doubt James would be mad at you Lil. He probably thought it was just your temper acting up."

"I should go talk to him and apologize for being nuts."

"No!" Alice cried. Lily looked at her, startled.

"No?"

"Of course not! Think about it. In the state you're in all that'll happen is you'll put your foot in your mouth _again."_ Alice explained. Lily scowled at her, but agreed that she had a point. It seems as if she can't trust her mouth around Potter while she was drunk. She was torn between Sirius's and Alice's advice, and it didn't help that she was hammered. She looked up, realizing Alice had run off to tell Laura her news. She suddenly felt very dizzy and rather sick from all the jumping before. Sighing, she wandered though the party, lost in thought. She was about to head up to bed to make sure she didn't do anything else embarrassing when Mary grabbed her.

"Lil! We're going to play Barmaid's Broomstick, I'm trying to get up a team. Want to join?" She looked Lily expectantly. _Drat her!_ Lily thought. Why did she have to be so nice? It was hard to be mad at someone who was so nice.

"Oh thanks for the offer Mar, but I should probably just go to bed. I'm dead hammered and..." Lily trailed, still unsure if she should get into her feelings with Mary.

" _Come on_ Lil!" Mary whined. "I was just begging Jay to play, but he's reffing." Lily noted the nickname Mary used, and the doe-eyed expression on her face. "Said he gets too competitive, but I'm the one who's won every time we've played this year! Anyways, I need someone else on the other team!" Lily was becoming annoyed. Mary gave her a sincere smile, and she plastered one on her face. So _Jay_ was reffing? Game on then.

"Okay, why not." Lily conceded and Mary cheered. Lily hoped she could remember how to ride a broom, as she hadn't done so in a couple years. Why had she decided to play? Mary would pummel her and James would probably see her lousy flying skills and never be attracted to her _ever._ She just couldn't stand leaving Mary and James off where she wasn't, which she knew was petty, but she was drunk so she was allowed to be jealous, right?

They entered the corridor, where the game was being set up, as it required much more space than the common room permitted. Lily squinted, trying to remember all of the rules to Barmaid's Broomstick. It was a popular drinking game for the Sixth and Seventh years, but Lily had never played it herself. People lined the corridors to watch or participate, chatting animatedly. James had put on a his Captains hat the team had given him, and had a shiny whistle around his neck. He saw Lily and looked wary, but began to walk towards her. Panicking, she turned around and quickly began to chat with Remus. She cursed herself for being so spineless.

"Ready to play teammate?" Remus asked, smiling wolfishly.

"Umm, so after you spin around the Beater's bat and ride the broom what do you do?" Lily asked, making sure she wasn't going to mess up. Remus chuckled at her nervous expression.

"Don't worry Lils, it's not hard to pick up."

With that, James blew the whistle to begin. The first member of their team grabbed the one of the cauldrons full of Butterbeer and took off running. Lily watched with rapt attention. He was a Hufflepuff seventh year, and Head Boy. Lily smirked, thinking how McGonagall would react to see the Head Boy chugging a cauldron of Butterbeer while others cheered him on. Him and a girl from the other team were competing, and they seemed pretty neck and neck, but he finished his cauldron first. He then took the bat laying next to the cauldron, held it vertically and spun around it. Once James blew his whistle again, he charged towards the broom, running into the walls and other students from dizziness. He got on and rode it erratically towards Remus and Lily. He crashed down and smacked Remus's hand, tagging him in. Remus whooped and grabbed another cauldron, beginning his round. Lily laughed merrily and watched them, nerves growing as it neared her turn. She looked over and saw Mary and her would be partnered together. Mary was talking to James, with her hand on his arm. Lily glared at the hand. She vowed to make it her mission to beat Mary if it was the last thing she did. Remus hurtled towards her on his broom, landing better than her other teammate, and smacking her shoulder. At almost the same time, Peter got done and tagged Mary in. Lily grabbed the cauldron and began to run. Game on.

She didn't make it to the other side of the corridor before Mary, who was much faster from her years of Seeking. But she did finish the Butterbeer before her, letting the foamy liquid run down the corners of her mouth in haste. People were cheering them both on loudly. She snuck a glance at James, who was looking directly at her with intensity in his face. She fumbled for a bit under the strength of it, caught off guard. She was brought back to the game with Remus screaming _Come on Evans my grandmum can move faster than that!_ She shakily grabbed the bat and began spinning. She heard James blow his whistle for Mary first, but hers followed shortly after. She stood running towards her broom, but somehow she was suddenly crashing into the wall. Onlookers laughed and cheered. Stumbling with dizziness, she carefully walked towards the broom now, as to not fall again. She reached the broom, pulling it under her. Mary seemed to have a rougher time than her, and was still a couple meters away, dizzy and on the floor. Elated, Lily kicked off, and her broom shot up into the air. From lack of experience, it went much higher than she had intended, the top of her head almost reaching the ceiling. She figured that didn't matter, and began to maneuver slowly towards the finish line. Her broom swayed a bit, but she picked up speed, as she knew Mary was a better flier and she only had precious seconds of a head start.

With her lack of coordination, she felt her broom tip downwards and back up, but she tried to push through. The halls spun around her. Suddenly Mary was next to her, yelling "Lily, pull up!". Confused, Lily noticed the ground coming at her much too quickly. But she could do it, she knew she could. She wasn't going to follow advice from _stupid, man-stealing_ Mary. Wait, man-stealing? Was James her man?

Shrieks of warning rose above the cheers. Lily was going to crash. She saw James running towards her, fear in his eyes. She tried to move the broom in a cooperative way, but her sluggish fingers made all of her movements too little, too late. James was now ahead of her, right in her path. _He's going to catch me and sweep me off of my feet._ She thought serenely. She pictured him catching her like a princess, and the two kissing passionately.

But instead she crashed two feet in front of him, and everything went black.


	4. Warmth

It was one of the few times in his life that James Potter thought he needed a drink.

Laying in bed, he thought back to the night's events. The Quidditch game seemed like it happened years ago, but it was only this afternoon. His mind was having a hard time processing it all. The swirling thoughts were interrupted by a snuffling snore from the girl next to him. She sighed in her sleep, and affection washed over him. His arm was getting tired from her head being on it, and her hair tickled his face, but he really didn't care. He considered snuggling her close, but he feared he would wake her. Suddenly, his ears detected footsteps coming up the stairs. It was Sirius, no doubt back from the Hospital Wing. He looked tired worn from the night's events, but his face registered shock at James.

"Prongs with a _girl?_ I thought this day would never come." He whispered. James wanted to tell him to piss off, but he didn't want to disturb anyone, so he just gave Sirius a rather rude hand gesture instead. It only made Sirius double over in a fit of silent hysterics.

"Fine, be cranky. But tomorrow you _will_ tell me how this happened. And I want the full story. Every single detail." He said suggestively. James threw a pillow at him with his good arm. _Tosser,_ he thought. But seriously, how did all this happen? How did he get here, an amazing and beautiful girl in his bed? He closed his eyes, remembering it.

It was the first time Lily had been drunk.

She'd told him so, multiple times, when she wasn't running away from him or dancing with some other guy. The thought of her with Trife made James's stomach twist uncomfortably. He'd been worried about her all night. She wasn't talking to him like she usually does, with complete ease and banter. It felt to James like she was hiding something, but he didn't want to push her. Then she got mad at him for no reason. James remembered how confused he'd felt. She yelled at him, but she also told him that he was perfect, so really he couldn't tell if he was insulted or not. But he did know she was mad, and he never wanted Lily Evans to be mad at him again. But he was also a bit angry. What grounds did she have to criticize him? He'd spent all year working on himself, and his improvements had impressed her as well. She'd told him that herself, but now apparently he was _too_ perfect? But he figured she was hammered, so her emotions were probably running high. She had run off somewhere with Sirius, looking upset, which pained him. So he took the time to figure out what he was going to say, and Mary then dragged him into the whole drinking game. (Not that it was hard to drag him in, he bloody loved reffing.) Figuring he'd wait till morning when Lily was sober and he had cooled off a bit, he got ready to help. He was not expecting Lily to be there, or for her to participate, or for him to realize how bloody beautiful she was while she was chugging Butterbeer like an animal. He remembered how his heart skipped a beat when her eyes made contact with his, and she dropped the bat completely. It was like they were both under some spell together.

Then she'd began to fly and he was terrified. She was fine at first, but as an experienced flier he knew she had gotten too high and was descending far too quickly. Before anyone else realized there might be a problem, he'd torn off running behind her. It was one of the most fearful moments of James's life, he was more afraid than when he first saw Remus as a werewolf, more afraid than when he'd learned about Voldemort for the first time, more afraid than when he'd jumped off the third floor of his house into a pile of pillows Sirius set up on a dare. His mind was full of alarm bells, and he could think of nothing except getting to her before it was too late. But he was too late.

She'd crashed just feet in front of him. She had a weirdly calm expression before she'd hit the ground and was knocked out cold. James got to her first, and quickly bent down to look her over. Careful not to move her head or neck, he took her pulse. He thanked Merlin his mum, a Healer, taught him some basic first aid techniques and spells. Fingers fumbling, he finally got to her heartbeat, shaking quickly like a frightened bird against his skin. Relief swooped in his stomach. He felt tears prick his eyes and was shocked. James Potter was not the crying type, and he was pretty sure the last time he cried was when his dad died. With Lily, ironically enough. More people were circling around her now, but Sirius was trying to shoo them away, to give her some air.

"What should we do? Send her to the hospital wing?" Marlene cried, looking on the verge of tears. James tried to find his voice. Lily had a large bump on her forehead, and her lip was bleeding. The hand that was holding her broomstick when she crashed was twisted in an awkward angle.

"No," He said horsely. "If Mcgonagall saw her like this it would ruin her chances of getting Head Girl." Thinking of Lily talking animatedly about her goal to be Head Girl to him almost broke him. He thought about the day they were talking about it together, and the determined look on her freckly face.

" _Aguamenti!"_ Peter cried, pointing his want at Lily's face. A stream of water splashed on her, causing bits of her damp hair to cling to James like tendrils of fire creeping up his arm.

"The fuck did you do that for Wormtail?" Sirius demanded.

"I don't know I panicked! I thought it would wake her up!" Peter said sheepishly. It seemed the water actually did have a positive effect, as Lily's eyes scrunched up and she let out a low groan.

James laughed in relief. "Wormy you did it!" Lily opened her green eyes slowly, no doubt being greeted by a ring of intently-staring people around her.

"Did I win?" She asked. Everyone laughed softly.

Lily began to rise, but winced. James rushed to cradle her head with his hand. It seemed like the first time Lily really noticed his presence. She gave him a face-filling grin, and he grinned back.

"My head." She began to complain. "Why'd I let you idiots get me drunk?" Marlene and Peter chuckled. James, on the other hand, was still worried.

"Let me patch you up Evans." He said.

"Please, you'd probably end up turning me into a cow or something." She joked weakly. But James could see the pain stricken across her face, no matter how she tried to hide it. Ignoring her objections, he began to murmur Healing spells. He fixed her broken fingers and stopped the bleeding from her forehead.

"Evans you look like a red-haired troll with that bump on your head." Marlene joked. Lily swatted up at her playfully, as James worked on reducing the swelling. After he was done and his friends were beginning to disperse and clean things up in the corridor, Lily looked up at him. She had an intensely grateful look in her eyes.

"Thanks for patching me up. You're not so bad Potter." She smiled.

"You're not so bad yourself. Even when you're yelling at me." He told her. She winced, seemingly ashamed.

"I'm sorry about my freak-out. I don't know what came over me, honestly."

"Well just don't let it happen again. You know my head's too big already, being told I'm too perfect just might make it explode." The giggled together. They began to stand, James offering her his arm.

The relief that washed over him once he knew Lily was alright was making him feel giddy. He could tell that she was still dizzy from her head injury,and she was most likely still wasted. But things between them in that moment felt so _real._ A year ago, James reflected, Lily would never be drunk, would never let him heal her, would never dream of being his best friend. But that's what they were now, best friends. The thought gave him tingles of happiness in his chest. Even if Lily never wanted anything more, he wouldn't care. Sure, sometimes he looked at her and felt longing gnaw at his chest for something more. But the priveledge of getting to be Lily's friend, if nothing more, was enough to quash those feelings. Usually. He couldn't pretend that his eyes didn't wander to her lips when he was daydreaming, or that his thoughts at night concerning her were _entirely_ pure. He'd been in love with her since he was fourteen. Them being friends only made it stronger.

They walked back into the common room through the portrait hole. Lily still was out of it, so James sat her on the couch. The party seemed to be winding down, only a few stragglers left. James and all of his friends sat in a circle around the fire, chatting. Sirius and some others had began to pass around a bottle of firewhiskey. When Lily grabbed for it, they all waved her off.

"There's no way drinking more is going to make your head injury better." Remus chuckled after Lily began to pout. Suddenly, she grabbed James's hand and pulled him up by her on the couch. She took his arm and snuggled into it. His gut erupted with excitement, but it was probably just in a friendly way. Right?

"I'm sleepy." She said drunkenly. Her head was nuzzling into his stomach, right by his bruises, but he didn't mind. Part of him watched from outside his body as she snuggled her way to her head being right on his lap. His heart pounded, but he tried to squash the blooming hope in his stomach. She was probably just tired.

"Should Marlene take you up to bed?" He asked. She shook her head violently, which made him chuckle. Her hair felt like silk on his arm.

"No, I'm gonna just stay here with you forever." She said sleepily. Some of his friends shared knowing grins with each other. Or was he just imagining it? His heart felt like it was in free-fall. It wasn't like he could ask Lily. She was drunk, and now fast asleep. He smiled down at her.

His friends' conversations wandered. They had heated debates, shared raucous jokes, and just did what they normally did, except Lily was snuggling with James. She woke up every once and a while to throw out an opinion or comment to her friends. Each one left James in stitches. All of his friends were extremely drunk. Marlene and Sirius had passed out, heads on each other's shoulders. Laura was the only one still dancing, though no music was on anymore. Mary was flirting heavily with Peter and Remus, but James had a bad feeling that she was only doing it when she knew he was looking. Alice and Frank had disappeared a while ago. A couple others hung around too, until the firewiskey was almost gone. Suddenly Mary thrust the bottle up by Jame's face, amber liquid sloshing around in the light.

"Come on Jay, just try some!" She exclaimed. She was very drunk now, and she was batting her eyes at him.

"Oh you just want me pissed so you can take advantage of me?" He teased. She laughed hard.

"Yeah you wouldn't want that, _Jay."_ Lily's venomous voice came from James's legs. He looked down at her, startled. It was very rare Lily Evans talked to someone with that much dislike, and they almost always deserved it. Her leafy eyes were hard and narrowed. He looked up, expecting Mary to back down, but she had a competitive glint in her eyes he only saw during games.

"Oh Lils, just because _some of us_ can't handle our liquor doesn't mean James couldn't have a good time with me." She said, face sneering slightly. James actually gasped out loud. He looked over. Marlene was awake, her mouth agape. Remus and Peter looked like deer in headlights. Never had anyone heard Mary talk like this. Suddenly Lily jumped out of James's lap and was standing. She stumbled slightly, but Mary stood up to face her. The two girls looked livid. What the hell was going on?

"Oh Mary, you had such a good game today." Lily said sweetly. "I'm sorry you didn't win the one you really wanted to." Her voice was dripping with sarcasm and disgust. James's mind was reeling. They didn't mean... Couldn't possibly be talking about... did she mean _him?_

"I wouldn't say I lost Lil." Mary said. "I'd just say someone got too drunk, and made the night all about her." She looked at Lily as if she was dirt.

Everyone around the fire was silent in utter shock. James was stunned. He'd never seen Lily or Mary behave with anything but friendliness to each other. Just the other day Mary was saying how much Lily supported her during games. His mind went back to her kiss on his cheek this morning. Lily had quickly looked away from them, no doubt to give him some privacy. He was too shocked to react, and then it was over. But he'd just written it off. Mary liking him would have been perfect, in a life where he wasn't mad for a certain redhead. But he figured if she made another move he'd just explain his feelings to her and they'd be fine. He had no idea she was so into him. And Lily. What was she doing? Was she actually jealous?

Suddenly there was a bang. Mary flew back in the air, landing in an armchair with a thud. James looked back at Lily, who had somehow found her wand and was wielding it. She looked drunk and angry. Mary was groaning, and suddenly, her t-shirt began to bulge. She screamed as the fabric moved, and hair snaked around the sides of her shirt and out over her arms, but it was long and ropey.

"Evans! You hexed her _armpit hair?"_ Sirius guffawed.

Mary began to panic as the hair crawled up her fingers and out. it was now hanging off of her like a baggy sweater. Marlene shoved Sirius, who was still in hysterics. Peter and Remus rushed over to help, but no one in the room knew of a counter-spell. Lily sat back down on the couch as the madness ensued, looking sullen. Soon Sirius and Laura took Mary by the hands, (both looking rather disgusted), and led her out of the portrait hole to the Hospital Wing.

James was with Peter and Remus, cleaning up the mess. He honestly had no idea what to say to Lily. Was he mad? It certainly wasn't a rational thing to do, but he'd done far worse to people who deserved it far less. Peter and Remus bade him goodnight and headed off to their tower. They were basically alone now. Shooting a glance at Lily, he realized tears were falling silently from her face as she stared at the fire. It jolted him back in time to a few months ago, when she was staring at the fire in his dance hall, puffy eyes and quiet. In that moment struck him how much he really did love her. He walked over and sat down, but sensed he should wait for her to speak first.

"I really am a bitch, aren't I?" She asked quietly.

"No." James said firmly. "Lily Evans is a short-tempered firecracker, a huge dork, a chronic rule-follower, an extremely powerful wielder of armpit jinxes, but a _bitch_ _?_ Never." She laughed and cried a bit at the same time.

"I really don't know why I did it." She mumbled. "Mary had such a smug look on her face." She mimicked the face with surprising accuracy, causing James to chuckle.

"Plus there's just this silly crush." She said quietly. James felt like the world stopped. All of the hopes he'd made himself not listen to came thundering into his chest. She had obviously not meant for him to hear it, but her drunken mouth made her talk louder. Lily continued her conversation as if she hadn't just killed James and brought him back to life with her words.

"Ugh I'm _never_ drinking again." She sighed dramatically "I feel like I'm gonna ralph." James noticed she was looking a little green.

"Let me take you up to bed." He said. Lily looked up at him, expression unreadable. "I'm sure Alice won't mind taking care of you if you're sick."

"Nope." She said firmly. "Alice snuck off to shag Frank on the seventh floor. Plus I want _you_ to take care of me." She waggled her eyebrows. James laughed, assuming that she was kidding around. But a part of him, now much stronger from her confession earlier, began to wonder. Was she coming on to him?

"Alright, if you insist." He teased. His insides were doing backflips as he led Lily towards the girls' dormitory. Lily stumbled along with him, her looking as if she was about to fall asleep. But once they got to the stairs she stopped with a surprising amount of strength, and halted James in his tracks.

"No boys allowed up there!" She said in a sing-song voice. Damn, he'd forgotten about the slide. Lily looked over at him, a flirtatious smile on her lips.

"Let's go show me the infamous Marauder's dorm." She said. James tried to keep calm. But it was terribly difficult with Lily's suggestive banter and disarming smile. Now it wasn't like the two haven't flirted before. James and Lily just had this chemistry. But never had Lily been so up front about it.

James's heart felt like a frenzied drumbeat against his chest. He carefully led Lily up the steps, praying their room didn't smell too much like teenage boy. Lily gasped like an excited kid, doing circles around. Thank Merlin Peter and Remus are heavy sleepers, as Lily had began to rifle through the Marauders' stash of jokes from Zonkos and pranks they were in the process of creating, which all resided in a trunk on the far side of the room. James successfully stopped her from setting off Peter's dungbombs. She was giggling madly and ran across the room to wake up Remus, filled with glee. James had to physically tackle her onto her bed. Little did she know Remus was a bear when he was woken up, and James just saved her from a force to be reckoned with. The two fell with a soft thud onto James's bed. He didn't want to think about how this could've looked if one of his mates woke up right now.

"I'm sleepy." Lily yawned. She promptly got under his covers and snuggled into his pillows. Chuckling, James grabbed a spare blanket from his trunk, preparing to sleep on the floor. But as he laid it down, an arm yanked him back up onto his bed.

"NO way Potter." Lily said. "I'm not letting you sleep down there. There's rats! I saw one in the girl's room last week."

"It was probably just Peter hoping to see one of you changing." James joked. Lily scoffed and pulled him closer, wrapping the blankets around both of them.

"No way, I want you to be the first girl you've slept with." She teased, waggling her eyebrows at the double entendre. He didn't know what to say, and couldn't help but snuggle in closer to her.

"Your bed smells like you." She mumbled.

"I hope that's a good thing." He said sarcastically. She giggled. Then she reached her dainty fingers up to his face. She seemed to hesitate, before carefully tracing his lips with them. He froze, letting her trace his features, shivers emanating from everywhere she touched. He felt her breathing quicken, chest rising and falling rapidly next to his. His mind was surprisingly blank for once. The air seemed thick with anticipation.

With surprising strength, Lily, grabbed his face and pulled him closer. He gasped out loud when her lips hit his cheek. It was almost just like the first time, in his bed, in third year. Her lips were more sloppy with drunkenness. And it was much longer, Lily seeming like she wanted to stay there forever. Which James had no problem with. Then she began to move her lips over his face, kissing his nose, chin, ears. Each spot where she kissed left a feeling of warmth spreading all over his body. She placed hot, wet kisses down his neck and he snapped out of his lovesick stupor. What if she was just drunk and regretted all of this in the morning?

Gently he pulled away. Lily's face was unreadable in the dark, but her green eyes looked glistened.

"I'm sorry." She said quickly. "I-I... It's just this silly crush. Now I've ruined everything, didn't I?" She sounded miserable.

"No!" James exclaimed. He heard Peter snuffle. "No." He said more quietly. "Lil, that was... Well I can't even find a word good enough to describe what that was." She laughed softly.

"Let's wait until you're sober, ok? I don't want to take advantage." He explained. She laughed and rolled her eyes.

"See what I mean? Too bloody perfect." She teased.

"You can still sleep with me, you know." He joked back. She smiled, reached up and kissed his cheek one more time, and promptly fell asleep.

And James was left feeling like he was falling and being hit with the Hogwarts Express all at once he was so elated.


	5. A Glimmer of a Different Kind

**Hi guys! I hope you're all liking the story so far.**

 **Just two reminders.**

 **1\. I don't own rights to anything.**

 **2\. Reviews are awesome and much appreciated!**

 **Thanks for reading. This chapter is pure fluff :)**

 **xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**

"Do you love me?"

James looked up from his drink. The world shifted and shimmered around him, but one thing was beautifully clear: That face. She looked up at him, green eyes electric with nerves. He wanted to dive into those eyes, and swim to every corner. And her voice rang with the sweetness of innocence. Does he love her? How could she not know? How could anyone who's ever seen him, brushed past him, looked at him, ever not know this one irrevocable fact?

He thought about their first kiss. It was the morning after Lily slept in his bed and the world ended and began again. She'd tried to sneak off on him, full of shame and sporting a killer hangover. But he noticed the second her warmth left his bed. Chasing after her down the stairs, he saw that she's still in his lucky socks. His heart felt like it would burst as she looked at him, green eyes scared and uneasy.

"I'm an idiot." She said.

"Well I've always known that, love." He said. Her lips wobbled into a reluctant smile.

"I don't want to put you in a corner James." She said. "Now you know how I feel, but I don't want to pressure you into something you don't want just because you feel bad for me." Her voice cracked a bit. James let out a wild laugh of giddiness. Her eyebrows rose practically to her hairline.

"Well you don't have to make fun of me." She said sourly. He laughed again, and now she looked more unsure, and turned to go.

"No!" He shouted grabbing her arm. "Lils I wasn't teasing, I swear." She gave him a glare that would have rendered him speechless a few years ago.

"Well you don't have to be such a prick about it. If you don't like me like that, it's fine, just don't laugh like you've pulled off the greatest prank of your life!" She snapped. He giggled again, at the ridiculousness of it all. She thought _he_ didn't like _her?_ Looking thoroughly offended, Lily turned to go again, but he swung her back, tackling her into a huge bear hug.

"Potter! Your hugs will be the death of-" She was cut off as his lips crashed into hers.

His mouth fell onto hers with such a force their teeth clacked, but he didn't care. It was sloppy and sweet, like most first kisses are. They were on the sofa in the common room, with Gryffindors all around them preparing for breakfast, and James couldn't give a damn because they were _kissing_. Her lips were soft and warm and tasted like toothpaste. A couple wolf whistles and cheers came from behind them, and Lily giggled underneath him, but she didn't stop, thank Merlin she didn't stop. He never wanted her lips to leave his.

"Fucking finally!" Sirius's voice erupted far closer to them than James expected. Startled, they jumped apart, to be greeted by their friends, expressions ranging from elated to mildly disgusted with their public display. Remus jumped between the two, intentionally breaking them up. He swung his arms around his two friends, ignoring their protests.

"I guess Lily getting drunk for the first time really did turn out for the better, eh Prongs?" He asked cheekily.

James looked at Lily, face flushed from embarrassment. She was biting her lip in a way that made his insides ache. She looked beautiful with her messy flaming locks sticking out all over her face. She looked at him, leafy eyes saying the exact same thing he was feeling.

"Yes." He said, "I guess it did."

That was four months ago. It was now early June, and Lily was with James, and she asked him if he loved her. James was drunk for the second time in his life. The two were trying to pass the time on this horrid camping trip Lily's dad forced them to go on. The scenery was amazing, the fire-cooked meals were delicious, but the company was rotten. As a family-bonding activity, Lily's dad made Petunia and her horror of a fiance come along. Luckily, Lily somehow convinced him that two separate tents were necessary for her sanity as well as her sister's, and the two of them were able to sleep alone. He looked up at the blue fabric, light from the lantern casting long shadows around their space. Little did Lily's dad know, his youngest snuck some bottles of vodka along with.

"Hell if I'm making it through this sober." Lily had claimed.

James teased her relentlessly, but by the end of the second day, he decidedly needed a drink as well. Petunia took any moment she could to criticize James, from his messy hair to his rule-breaking, to his chewing too loudly at dinner. And Vernon had just taken the approach of acting as if the two didn't exist at all. So, James concluded, it was time for him to try drinking again. It wasn't as if he was ever opposed to it really, he'd just always wanted to keep that memory of his first time special. But now he had Lily every day, not just in the hazy memory from third year, so it didn't matter anymore.

And she was asking him if he loved her.

He remembered the last day of their sixth year.

They'd finished their exams, and were swimming in the lake. James kept diving underwater and grabbing Lily by surprise, and she would let out the cutest squeals of fright. They got into a splash war, then retired to floating on their backs together. James felt like there wasn't anyone in the world but them, and he tried to savor the moment.

"The thought of leaving this place tomorrow is killing me." Lily said suddenly. James looked over. Her eyes were staring up at the sky, hard and flat. He knew Lily was terrified of the prospects of her summer at home. Petunia had written her last week claiming she was engaged to be married on September 1st. It was obvious she'd picked the date to make it impossible for Lily to attend.

"You can come over to my place whenever you like Lils." He promised. She looked at him and rolled her eyes.

"Who would ever say no to an invitation to Potter Mansion?" She teased.

"We prefer the name Potter Estate actually." He shot back. She giggled.

"You mean it though? I could come any time I like?" She asked softly.

"Absolutely. You're more than a guest to me, you know." He said. Her eyes glinted with mischief.

"Even if I came, say, every day at six in the morning?" He groaned and she laughed heartily. She knew he was the opposite of a morning person.

"Well you've heard of my 'no activity till noon' rule, but for the prettiest girl I know, I think I can make an exception." She grinned. He looked at her like it was the first time. Hair clung wetly to the sides of her cheeks and neck, flaming locks darkened with water. Her button nose had a droplet hanging off of it, and her green eyes shone with mirth. And something else, but James didn't want to over-analyze it. The sun was going down over the castle, and her creamy skin stood out against the blackness of the lake, freckles adding spots of contrast. They spent a long time there, bodies shivering in the cool water, just looking at each other.

"You know, Alice and Laura always come to this spot to skinny dip." Lily stated neutrally.

"Oh?" James said, trying to mimic her calm tone. "Seems like a fine place to do it."

"Maybe we should try, you know, since they seem to love it so much." She said.

"Maybe."

Slowly, Lily reached down into the water, maneuvering off her swimsuit bottoms. Once successful, she threw them onto shore, her top soon following. James couldn't think of a moment when he had ever been happier, kissing his girlfriend who was naked, the two at the cusp of summer and the verge of adulthood. It was memories like that that made her asking him if he loved her even more absurd.

"You're leaving a girl hanging here, babe." She joked, jolting him back to the present. He smiled so wide he felt as if it would fall off of his face.

"Of course I love you, you idiot." He said softly.

Relief and joy flashed through her face, and then she shoved him for calling her an idiot. He giggled loudly and swished some of his drink onto the tent floor. Lily shushed him, making sure the two didn't wake up any of their fellow campers. A cyote howled off in the distance, and James pretended to be frightened, and jumped on top of Lily for protection.

"You willingly run around with a werewolf once a month! I know you're not scared." She complained, but she wasn't actually upset. She loved his body close to hers, his strong arms circling her in a tight embrace. It made her feel safe in a world where it was harder and harder to feel so. It was home.

"So," He said "Now we know that I love you. Although I thought it was quite obvious, since I basically turn into a blubbering idiot whenever I'm around you."

"I thought that was just how you always acted." Lily teased. " You save your idiocy just for me? I'm touched." James chuckled, but his hazel eyes turned serious.

"Lily, I've been in love with you since I was fourteen years old." He said.

"I know." She smiled. And really, part of her always did. Even when she thought he was the biggest jerk on earth, she always knew.

"The real question now Evans" James continued, "Is do you love me?"

Lily looked down at her drink. The light contents swirled slowly. The light reflected off of its surface and glinted into her eyes. Does she love him? Is that even a question?

She thought back to a couple months ago. The two had started dating a few weeks ago and they were basically glued at the hips. Lily had no complaint, as being with James made anything better.

"It's like when he's there, I could be pruning a Venomous Tentactula and he'd still get me to have fun." Lily explained to the girls.

They'd finally all gotten together, as Marlene protested that with all the happy couples and her forever single, she needed time to catch up. They were sprawled on Alice's bed, Lily, Laura, Marlene, and even Mary. Lily had made it her mission to apologize as quickly as possible, and it turned out Mary felt the exact same way, and the two were back to their easy friendship, drama set aside. They'd spent the evening eating pumpkin pasties and licorice wands. Alice showed them all her shiny silver engagement ring, which was appropriately fawned and gushed at. Laura told them about the date she'd gone on with her new girlfriend, Mathilda Hopkirk. Even Mary said that after the party, she'd started to chat with the Hufflepuff Head Boy, Reg Cattermole, and was beginning to crush on him hard. Everyone was happy, and although Marlene complained, she liked being single really, and was happy to hear about everyone's dating lives. And now it was Lily's turn.

"I always knew you and Potter would end up together." Laura stated matter-of-factly. Lily snorted.

"Half of my time here I couldn't even stand him!" She said.

"That may be true, but I can recognize fate when I see it." Laura said, raising an eyebrow mysteriously.

"Oh shove it, just because Divination is your best subject." Marlene teased, throwing some jelly slugs at her.

"So Lily, is he a good kisser?" Alice asked.

"I've barely snogged him, we've only been dating for three weeks!" She exclaimed. Well, that wasn't entirely true. She wanted to kiss James every spare moment she could, but the two were both busy, James with Quidditch and Lily with Prefect duties. And there was a time last week when he'd pulled her aside after dinner. She'd never been kissed like that before, like she was the most precious and loved thing in the world. Just the memory of it gave her tingles.

"Liar." Marlene smirked. Lily blushed.

Their conversations wandered, touching schoolwork, parties, and the upcoming Hogsmede trip. Lily savored the easy conversation and relaxing times with her friends. Suddenly Laura's ear's perked and she whipped her head around towards their dormitory door.

"What was that noise?" She demanded. Confusion swept the group, and Laura shushed them all. Lily strained her ears, and suddenly began to hear it too: a faint scratching, and muffled shouts.

The girls all shrieked as the scratching suddenly increased in volume. As the bravest of the group, they forced Marlene to go check it out. Deciding to just get it over with, she strode across the room and swung open the door with a bang. Frank and James burst in, wearing bandannas and black warpaint. Sirius was soon to follow, tackling Marlene. They all sported the fluffiest pillows Lily had ever seen.

"This is war boys! Take no survivors!" James shouted.

Remus and Peter followed pursuit, throwing smoke bombs to add to the madness. The girls were beginning to react, grabbing pillows off their beds to defend themselves from the onslaught. It seems the boys charmed their pillows not only to be as big as dining room tables, but to emit mass quantities of feathers each time they hit a target. The room was alive with screams and smoke as the pillow war ensued. Marlene trapped Peter in one of her blankets, carrying him around like a sack. Alice and Frank were half-wrestling, laughing gaily. Lily was blindly whacking into the fray with her purple pillow, laughing so hard her stomach hurt. Suddenly a hand went around her mouth. James spun her around, dragging her into a corner. She squirmed, but he was too strong.

"Looks like I got myself a hostage." He teased, and bent down to kiss her on the mouth. Lily giggled.

"Let me guess who's idea this was." She said. He held up his hands in mock-surrender.

"Guilty as charged. I guess I just missed you too much." She smiled up at him. Feathers were raining down on them like snow, sticking in his black hair.

"How in the name of Merlin's left ball sack did you boys manage to get up here?" Laura demanded. Remus gestured to the door, indicating for them to see for themselves. The girls rushed over, and Lily let out a laugh of disbelief.

"What even is that?" Marlene asked.

"Muggle rock climbing gear." Lily said, in a fit of giggles. Somehow they'd gotten a rope nailed into the stone steps, which were now a slide with the presence of boys. They'd taken carabiners and a pulley and climbed their way up. Lily looked at the boys to see crampons on each of their feet. Of course the stairs were magic, and wouldn't think of a Muggle alternative to get up.

"I thought of it last week when you mentioned your dad used to climb." James said laughing, slinging an arm over her shoulder.

"James Potter you're the most insane person I've ever met." Lily said in disbelief. She looked up at him, hazel eyes lit up with excitement. His crooked smile was huge, showing off his white teeth. One had a chip in it, she'd never noticed. She felt her heart in her ears, never wanting to look away.

She looked up at him now. He'd just asked her if he loved her. She looked up at those eyes, that crooked tooth. He had a terrified expression on. She smiled, as she was pretty terrified too.

"James Potter, I love you more than I've loved anything ever." She said.

He didn't say anything, but leapt to her side of the tent and tackled her, showering her with kisses. She shrieked, and heard Vernon grumbling from across the campsite. But she couldn't give a dam. She loved James and he loved her. Could anything possibly matter more?

It wasn't the first time Lily had felt this way, like this was something bigger than just the two of them. Looking at James's wild Hazel eyes, Lily just had this feeling in her gut that this was something _more._

The first time she'd felt that was was before her Potions final last month. Her and James were studying in the library until late. She'd been trying to help him understand the principles behind anecdotes. His face was scrunched in concentration, but he just wasn't seeming to get it, which was rare for him when it came to school. She kept reassuring him but he seemed pretty defeated. There was a perfect book on anecdotes she knew of that was a few rows away. She gave him a quick kiss, promising to be back in five minutes. Which was when she ran into Sev.

"Lily." He greeted cooly. She had barely spoken to him since fifth year, only when she had to hash out Prefect duties. Honestly she had no desire to either. The fact that he used to be her friend and she didn't know anything about him now made her sad, but it didn't make her regret her decision to end things between them. Not for a second.

"Sev, either spit it out or move out of the way." She sighed tiredly, not in the mood for his antics.

"So you with potter now, is it?" He asked, voice filled with bitterness. "Lily, I never thought you'd stoop that low." Now she was furious.

"You have _no right_ to criticize me for my choice in friends when yours are out to murder people like me." She spat. Sev flinched "James was a jerk, but he grew up. Obviously you can't accept that, but as we are no longer friends I don't care."

"You're going to regret it you know." He said finally. She let out an exasperated huff. He was really that thick?

"Goodbye Sev." She said cooly, bumping his shoulder hard as she passed. She hoped it would be the last time they ever spoke.

Forgetting about the book, she turned to find her table. All she wanted to do now was talk to James. It wasn't as if she cared about what Sev said, but it left her exhausted and hollow. She knew James would make her feel better. When she reached the table, however, he was fast asleep. She looked down at James, glasses askew, drool leaking out of his mouth onto his potions notes. His shaggy hair flopped in his face. A piece would tilt upward when he breathed out, and be sucked in when he inhaled. She laughed softly, and nudged him awake. He looked up, and smiled sleepily. Lily knew in that moment, that despite what Sev or _anyone_ said, she would never ever regret her time spent with James Potter for as long as she lived.

And now it was June. In a few short months the two would begin their last year at Hogwarts. And they were in love. The two spent the rest of the night giggling.

"You love me."

"Yeah and you love me too."

"But _you_ love me."

"Yes, but you _love_ me."

They couldn't stop saying it to each other, in between kisses of course. Finally the pair was startled from their own world when Petunia's shrill voice came from across the campsite.

"WE GET IT! YOU TWO LOVE EACH OTHER. NOW LET THE _NORMAL_ PEOPLE GET SOME SLEEP!"


	6. The Humor of Professor Mcgonagall

Hi Everyone! I'm really happy I was able to update so quickly. This chapter was so much fun to write that I seriously couldn't stop.

Please review! I would LOVE to hear everyone's opinions on the story and the characters or whatever.

Again, I own nothing. Enjoy!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The first time Minerva Mcgonagall had seen James and Lily drunk was at the wedding.

Now, as an instructor at their school and the Head of their house, she normally would not have stood idly by when such behavior took place. They were _just_ of age for Merlin's sakes, and were due back for their seventh years at Hogwarts in mere weeks. But, she had conceded that it was a wedding, and one designated for two students of hers, for that matter. It was nice to have a source of celebrations, especially when it seemed like the only light spot in a very dark summer. Who was she to turn her nose up to the antics of her students when many of them had recently lost at least one family or friend from the attack at the Ministry last month? Luckily both James and Lily had came out unscathed, but that didn't mean they weren't effected. They were the lucky ones.

The ceremony had been gorgeous, in the backyard of the groom's parents' house. Agusta Longbottom had walked Alice down the aisle, as her father and mother were both killed in the attack. The service was a bittersweet mixture of mourning the end but celebrating the beginning of a new love. Mcgonagall, when receiving the invitation a week ago (it was all a very rushed affair, no doubt from the circumstances), had been skeptical. She had been to many former students' weddings when they were much too young, and would meet them later with regret hanging over their heads from the naive decision. But looking at Frank and Alice's faces as they said their vows to each other, Minerva knew the two were meant for each other. She wiped a few tears as the two kissed, to which she knew other students were gawking at. No student is accustomed to Mcgonagall showing such emotion, a fact she took pleasure in.

Presently, she had apperated to the building in Hogsmede where the reception would be held, a small gift in her bony hand. This is when she saw them. Potter and Evans, that was. The latter was stunning in her pale silver bridesmaid's dress, the former handsome in a smart set of black dress robes. James had tried to manage his charcoal disaster of hair by slicking it back, but to no avail as gelled pieces were beginning to poke out, as if spikes were coming out of his head. Lily appeared to be teasing him ruthlessly about the fact. Minerva felt the corners of her mouth tug upwards. She'd always suspected there was something more to the pair of them that meets the eye, but now it was clear.

She figured out they were drunk, (and not just drunk but _really_ smashed) when Evans stumbled over to a bush and vomited noisily. Potter, once realizing what was happening, rushed over to hold her hair. She shoved him back, claiming she didn't want him to see her this way. James stumbled as Lily continued to retch, looking at a loss. He caught his reflection in the window, and his hands flew to his spiky hair in horror. It seemed like an absolute disaster of a situation, which could certainly be made worse for them by the presence of their teacher.

Mcgonagall, though none would guess from her outwardly strict demeanor, was a lover of a good joke. Sure, the self-proclaimed "Marauders" have been a thorn in her side since the first week of their first year when they put love potions on all of the students' owls, but she'd always taken pleasure in learning of the new clever ways the boys would come up with ensue mayhem. Knowing it would scare the pants off the two to find their Head of house watching this drunken display of bafoonery, she cleared her throat pointedly.

Both Evans and Potter looked up so fast Minerva was surprised they didn't get whiplash. Lily, makeup now smeared from her episode, looked like she had been Petrified. James's mouth hung open in horror. Minerva restrained from smiling, and strode over to the two, putting on her strictest face (not that Potter would be scared by it, as he'd been subject to it's glare many times before.)

"Good evening Mr. Potter, Ms. Evans." She said smoothly, inclining her head at each. "I expect you're enjoying the reception so far?"

James opened and closed his mouth a couple times, like a blubbering fish out of water. Lily hadn't yet moved since Mcgonagall made her presence known. Merlin, this was good. Minerva decided to continue as if nothing was unusual.

"The Longbottoms will make quite a pair indeed. Such gifted students, although no one in your year quite has a knack for Potions as you do Ms. Evans. Have they discussed their plans for this year? I quite hope a thing such as marriage wouldn't interfere with their education." She tried to keep her voice as neutral as possible. But it was getting difficult, as the drunken pair swayed under her gaze. Finally, Lily seemed to regain her mobility.

"Of course, Professor. The two would like to become Police." She said, obviously trying to act as serious as possible. Her gaze wobbled as she tried and failed to meet Minerva's eye.

"Police? I'm not familiar with that. I wasn't aware the two were interested in Muggle occupations." Of course she knew what police were, and she knew that Lily, as a muggle-born, probably meant Aurors. But it was so bloody fun to mess with them. Lily's face had become confused and a bit queasy again.

"Of course, Professor. I only meant the Magic Police, oh what's the word..." She trailed.

"Aurors!" James exclaimed, much too loudly. He smiled as if he'd just won a grand prize to a contest. Lily shot him a look and whispered _she knows what Magic Police are you twat!_ Minerva was smiling at the two now, unable to contain her amusement. An idea crossed her mind. Should she go in for the kill? Why not, she decided. A devilish grin was no doubt on her lips now as she fished in her cloak.

"Well that's very brave of them. I'm sure they'll make fantastic Aurors. Now, I presume the two of you are looking forward to school starting?" The two nodded hugely, looks of fear still plastered on each of their faces. Minerva smiled.

"Excellent. Then I am proud to present these to you in person." She grabbed the two letters, embedded with the Hogwarts crest, meant for the each of them. She'd brought many students' letters with her, as she liked the personal aspect of delivering them at the wedding. She held them out, the two grabbing them shakily. It took James a couple of tries to grab his letter from her hand, but she kept to her policy of pretending not to notice.

"Since we're all together, I am honored to deliver the news to you too." They looked at her with confused expressions. "You both are the new Heads for students this year, James as Head Boy and Lily as Head Girl. The badges and further instructions are enclosed in your letters. Congratulations!" She smiled warmly at the two. Lily now looked horrified, James struck dumb. Then a grin broke out on his drunk face.

"Lil, you're Head Boy!" He shouted, grabbing Lily and picking her up. Now looking like she may be sick again, Lily's eyes shifted between Mcgonagall and her letter.

"Head _Girl,_ right James?" She hissed to him. He was too busy planting sloppy kisses on her cheeks to notice. Not able to contain it, Minerva let out a warm chuckle.

"Right, well, I suppose I will see the pair of you inside. I'm sure we will be in touch quite often this year, with your new positions, which I am looking forward to." With that, Minerva strode inside, and burst out in laughter once she was out of earshot. As she was walking away, she swore she heard Potter say, "Well, I'd say that that was a fantastic first meeting as Heads," followed by an _oof!_ as Evans elbowed him in the stomach.


	7. Anytime

**Hi guys! Sorry about the super long time in between updates for this chapter. School has been so crazy for me the past two weeks. Not to mention I had an intense bout of writer's block, but thankfully that's all cleared up.**

 **The reviews for last chapter were beyond amazing. I'd love it if you guys kept 'em coming!**

 **I hope you're liking the story, it's really all coming together for me now!**

 **Also, a reminder that I do not own any rights to anything.**

 **Enjoy!**

 _xx x xx x xx x xx x xx x xx x xx x xx x xx x xx x xx x_

 _"Does anyone know the correct amount of Doxy eggs to add to the solution?" Slughorn asked the class with a warm smile. Immediately a hand shot up, frantically. It was Lily Evans of course, no one in the class would've expected different. She was the master Potioneer._

 _"You need three eggs from a Doxy, but four if the color is still too light of a blue." She said excitedly. Slughorn beamed._

 _"Correct, Ms. Evans! Ten points for remembering the extra step!" Lily looked down at her notes, scribbling more instructions. She wore a small smile from the compliment. Behind her though, she heard snickering. Immediately her temper flared and she began to focus solely on Slughorn's words, but she couldn't block out the whispers behind her._

 _"Looks like a bloody owl flapping her hand up there-"_

 _"Shove it Sirius, you're just jealous because you couldn't remember."_

 _"Oh, but she just has to remember the extra step? As if none of us knew she was a genius already."_

 _"Again, shall I say Jealous?"_

 _There were more snickers from the back table, and Lily knew where this was going. Potter and Black would rile each other up, pull some stupid prank, and_ she _would be caught in the cross-fire. James's antics to try and get her attention always left her in some form of a pickle, whether that meant teeth turned purple, robes smoking, ears five2 times their normal size. It was quite annoying, and she made it clear to him she thought just that, but he never stopped, did he? She thought that maybe he'd change, since their day they spent together last year. She still looked upon that day fondly, when she cheered him up and he took her on a wild goose chase through the castle. It was things like that that made her think maybe James Potter wasn't that big of a jerk._

 _Her thoughts were interrupted by something wet and sticky hitting the back of her head with a loud SPLAT! She whipped her head around, to see James looking shocked and guilty, holding a spoon dripping with Doxy eggs, Sirius roaring with laughter behind him._

 _"POTTER! You disgusting prick." She seethed, preparing to give him a sound yelling. But her rant could never be finished, as her goo-covered hair was beginning to sizzle from the eggs. Slughorn, quite shocked, told her to go to the Hospital Wing straight away. She had to run out of the room, Sirius and them still in hysterics, as her hair was being sizzled off. Her head was beginning to sting as well. It was humiliating._

 _"Was it that Potter boy again?" Madame Pomfrey asked in greeting. It seemed Lily was always being sent to her. She nodded sourly. The lecture Slughorn was giving was so interesting too! Now she'd never now how to properly brew Smoking Solutions. Madame Pomfrey chuckled fondly, dabbing Lily's head with the anecdote._

 _"That boy will be the death of me. Seems like some things never change, do they Miss Evans?" Lily thought of the day last year, and how she'd given James the benefit of the doubt, and he constantly proved her wrong._

 _"No I guess they never do." She agreed._

Lily woke up, shaken. She'd completely forgotten about that day in fourth year. It wasn't anything special to her at all, as James had done much more memorable pranks toward her. Thinking of James, she stretched out, searching for his warmth. They'd taken to trading off beds, much to their roommates' annoyances. Tonight she was in his bed, and the two had fallen asleep late after talking for hours. Dumbledore had just offered them positions in an organization called The Order of the Phoenix for when they graduated. It was months away, but he wanted to begin their trainings if they accepted as soon as possible. And of course they accepted. Lily had never seen the expression on James's face as he signed pledged his membership. She admired his ability to find courage in the most terrifying situations. She herself was scared shitless, but signed anyway. This whole cause was bigger than her, but she wanted to do as much as she could to do some good in the world.

She curled her fingers around his pillow, breathing in his scent. But her fingers felt nothing, just the other side of the bed. Her eyes flew open. Where was he? Never this year had she woken up without him next to her. Had something happened to him?

"James?" She whispered, to no response. Mind swirling with thoughts of Voldemort and the Order, she began to panic.

"James?!" She shrieked, ripping open the hangings around his bed. The boys' room was dark and still, save from some disgruntled rolling around from Sirius and Peter. Lily began to throw her clothes on loudly. Suddenly, the bathroom door flew open, light pouring out of it. James was silhouetted against the light, towel around his waist and toothbrush in his mouth. Lily felt relief crash around her, and let out the breath she was holding painfully in her chest.

"Lils? 'ut's 'wong?" He asked, mouth full of toothpaste. She looked at the clock, 6am.

"You never get up this early." She said simply. Looking confused, James spat out his toothpaste and gestured over to his Quidditch gear.

"First game of the year's at noon, Lily. Did you forget?" He asked. Of course, he'd want to get up early to prepare for the match. Feeling immensely stupid, Lily fell back into James's bed.

"No of course not. I just never wake up without you next to me." She explained. "I thought something happened."

James came over by her, stroking her hair. He smiled at her as if she wasn't crazy, and didn't have bed head and morning breath, even though all of those things were most certainly true.

"Nothing's gonna happen to me, Lils, I promise." He kissed her forehead. Suddenly Remus piped up from his bed.

"Lily, next time you wake me up this early, James better be dying. Now both of you shut it!"

The two snickered together, knowing how terribly crabby Remus gets when he is woken up.

"Remus, don't be a _monster!"_ James teased, and got a pillow thrown at his head. Lily groaned at the terrible pun, and James went back into the bathroom to get ready.

Lily lay in the dark, thoughts swirling in her mind. Why was she so bloody terrified this morning? It wasn't as if he could've been in actual danger. They were safe in the castle, under the protection of powerful enchantments, not to mention Dumbledore. And it wasn't as if she thought he needed to be looked after. James was a skilled fighter and quick on his toes. Hell, she went to bed once a month knowing he would spend half the night running around with a werewolf before collapsing exhaustedly next to her in bed. She never lost sleep over that, because she knew James was smart and could take care of himself. Now she was tossing and turning, worry and nerves swirling in her gut. She'd never doubted James, yet his unexpected absence this morning had made her lose her mind with fear. It must have been because of their conversation from the night before. Or something...

For some reason her dream kept bothering her as well. Why'd she remember that day in fourth year? There was no reason for her to remember it, it had been almost identical to every other day that year. James was a prat, and she got pissed at him. That was the cycle back then. Everyone used to say Lily hated James during that time, and she almost agreed with them. Almost. There was always a part of her that knew he wasn't all bad, and he truly meant well. That didn't stop the two from fighting every other day, but she'd always known deep down that he was a good person, wrapped in an ego and general prattishness. Luckily for her, he'd grown out of that, and into the amazing person he is today. Then it hit her. That was the day she'd almost given up on James. Madame Pomfrey, and most of the school, thought that he'd never change, _they_ would never change. And in that moment, head stinging, slime oozing in her hair, she believed them.

And oh, how he'd proven her wrong. Time and time again, she was reminded of how lovely he was. What if she had really given up on him, would things be the way they were today? Would she have missed out on the most amazing experience of her life? What if in some time, they weren't together. No, Lily thought with a strong finality, she would have fallen in love with him in that time too. She couldn't picture any time that would end with them apart.

Her body shook with this realization. She knew what she needed to do. Leaping out of bed, mind going a million miles a minute, she put her clothes on. Her brain was working at top speed, until it came to a halt. How would she pull this off by the end of the day? She looked around at the Marauders, snoring soundly. She grinned. If anyone could help her with this impossible scheme, it was them.

"Remus!" She whispered, shaking him in urgency.

"What the hell Lily? I had just fallen back asleep. This better be important." He growled. He looked up at her, eyes twinkling with merriment and mischief, much like James's do when he's come up with an incredible idea.

"Oh," She said, "it is."

xx x xx x xx x xx x xx x xx x xx x xx x xx x xx x xx x xx x xx x xx x xx x

Lily walked down to the field at eleven thirty, a bundle of nerves. Accompanied by packs of students, laughing and chattering excitedly, she remembered how much she loved watching Quidditch. Cheering on Mary and James like a maniac was one of her favorite things to do. Of course she'd filled Mary in, as to prepare her for what would happen, but James was still completely clueless as to her plan. She looked down at her feet, adorned with James's lucky Quidditch socks. The Snitches and broomsticks were zooming around, up and down her ankles and shins. She prayed to the Sock gods that they would too give her luck, for what she was about to do. Sirius, always the attentive one, sensed her quiet anxiousness. He slung an arm around her knowingly.

"Lils, the whole plan's set in place. All we have to do is wait for your signal. Honestly, it's one of the most well-designed schemes any of the Marauders have come up with." He chuckled.

"So I'm a Marauder now too?" She teased. Sirius turned serious.

"Of course. Its an honor above no other." They laughed, but then Lily went back to her brooding.

"Everything will work out." He soothed, ruffling her fiery hair fondly. She looked up at him, green eyes large and hopeful.

"You know it's not the plan I'm worried about." She said, voice barely above a whisper.

"I know. Trust me Lils, when I say, you won't be disappointed."

They walked quietly from then, arm in arm. Behind her Remus and Peter were corralling the other students they'd gotten to help Lily. The game was against Ravenclaw, but all the Gryffindors and many Hufflepuffs had agreed to help Lily out. They were decked out in crimson and yellow, faces painted. Some Slytherins even joined, a small group Sirius had deemed "the good ones." It seemed everyone loved James Potter, as he was a legend around school, and were more than willing to help Lily out. People kept running up to her, wishing her luck and congratulating her on a job well done. It had helped her nerves at first, but now she felt a lump in her throat about the size of a plum she couldn't seem to swallow.

They entered the stadium, and found their seats. Lily was sure to sit down by the front, as to get the best view of the players. Her friends all sat next to her, the dozens of students they'd gotten to help sat behind. Before the players got onto the field, Lily and her friends helped organize the kids, putting them into the correct spaces in the stadium. Lily grinned. It was a sea of maroon and gold. Ravenclaws looked over curiously, as there was never such a large support for one house, and usually it was split fifty-fifty. Thanks to Lily and her friends, the stands were overwhelmingly full of Gryffindor fans. And not just casual fans at that, Lily had convinced the helpers to go all out, bedecking themselves in the flashiest of clothing supporting the lions. It was incredible to see, and Lily felt some of her nerves fade away. James would love it.

The commentator was a boy she tutored from Hufflepuff, Calvin Fawley. He gave her a wave and a wink, which she returned. She'd told him his cue, and knew she wouldn't let her down. It felt like a million years and one minute to her all at once, but finally the players shot out of each side of the stadium, taking laps around to warm up. Lily's section roared when the Gryffindor players reached their end. James looked at them all, dumbfounded. All the players (besides Mary of course) seemed shocked and elated at the high turnout. James took a moment to fly over to Lily at the stands.

"Come on Potter, it's not time to chat with your girlfriend!" His teammate Holly Wood exclaimed.

"Oh shove it Wood, I'm the captain!" He teased. Then he looked at Lily. Joy was written all over his face.

"You did this didn't you?" He asked, grinning.

"Just wanted to show you how many fans you really have." She replied easily. James leaned over his broom and planted a kiss on her mouth. Then he waved and took off, a noticeable confidence boost in his demeanor.

"He loves it!" Remus called over to her, laughing, "and he doesn't even know the best part yet!"

It was true. Lily had known James would catch on a bit, but saved the real plan for later.

The captains walked to the center of the field and shook hands. Madame Kwick released the balls, and the game began. Players zoomed back and fourth in the air. Lily was captivated by James, as he zipped through the air, passing and catching the Quaffel from other teammates. He was a truly magnificent flier, and looked more graceful in the air than he was ever capable of being on land. Each time he flew past the Gryffindor side would cheer wildly. It seemed to only improve his game.

The score was 90-30, Gryffindor winning. So far there was only one Snitch sighting. Lily's heart almost burst when the Ravenclaw Seeker started zooming after it, as Mary was on the other side of the field. But they'd lost it around the goal posts, thank Merlin. Almost all of the plan hinged on a Gryffindor win. Lily, along with the other students in her section, had been cheering like lunatics, and each time Gryffindor scored it would get louder. James had a bemused happiness on his face each time he heard them.

Suddenly, Mary took a sharp loop upwards in the air. The crowd took in a collective gasp. If she squinted, Lily could make out the gold glint of the Snitch in the air about five meters away from her. The score was now 70-200. If the Ravenclaw Seeker caught the Snitch, they would still win. Luckily, Mary was ahead, but not by much. People shrieked and cheered as they simultaneously dived. A well-aimed Bludger from Gryffindor broke the two apart though, and suddenly Mary was right by Lily's section, hand outstretched. She saw her hand close over the winged ball, and then almost went deaf. The cheers were so loud she couldn't hear Calvin's commentating, but knew it was a Gryffindor win. Sirius's voice spoke into her left ear.

"Last chance to turn back Evans." He teased. Lily felt raw adrenalin rushing painfully through her arms and legs. In that moment, it would have been easy to back out. James would never know. But, she thought back to this morning, when she just _knew_ what she had to do. She loved James more than she'd ever known it was possible to love something. Even when he made her want to rip her hair out, she loved him. She stood up tall, body shaking with nerves. Calvin looked over at her expectantly, and she gave him the signal, a flick from her left hand above her head. He nodded in recognition, and she turned around, half scared to face what would happen, half to direct the students. Hundreds of eyes looked upon her, as her volunteers prepared. Their faces had different degrees of elation, but they were all happy. A sudden rush of affection for Hogwarts and its students filled Lily. She beamed as Calvin's voice floated over the cheering stands to her.

"Congrats Gryffindor, congrats indeed." Calvin's voice boomed jovially. "Before the celebrations commence, will everyone please direct their attention to the south end of the stadium? There is a special message for one of the players."

Lily swallowed and took a leap into the unknown. She shouted loudly enough for the whole stadium to hear.

"NOW!"

x xx x xx x xx x xx x

James Potter didn't remember learning how to fly. It wasn't like some symbolic moment when he picked up a broomstick as a kid, and suddenly the world made sense. In fact, it was quite the opposite, as James couldn't remember a time where he _didn't_ know how to fly. Some of his earliest haziest memories were him zipping around his back garden on a small toy broom his dad had gotten for him. He remembered his eighth birthday, when he got a hand-me-down Starburst from his uncle. He'd ridden it for hours, not even coming down to sleep, eat, or go to the bathroom. His parents looked on with fondness, and his dad had began to teach him to play Quidditch. It was obvious that Chaser was the best position for him, and he cherished the days he'd spent racing his dad around the back, with an old beat-up Quaffel from when he was in school. When James made the team third year, his parents had been so thrilled. When he got Captain in sixth year, it was only his mom. But he still felt his dad with him when he played, flying as fast as he could around the pitch, passing and scoring with his team.

When he started dating Lily, the best thing was to see her cheering her heart out for him over on the sidelines. Her presence seemed to fill the hole his dad's absence left when he was flying. She always had the goofiest grin on her face when he scored a goal, smile full of teeth. Today was the most amazing surprise, her showing up with at least three times more people dressed to support Gryffindor as usual. It made his heart do backflips that she went to all that trouble just to support him. She was truly amazing.

One would think, that during an match, his mind would be solely on the ball. But he'd discovered he played better when he was out of his own head, and let his body do the work. Often he'd let his mind wander, and usually they ended up on Lily. Today they were positively stuck there.

He had made the final score just minutes before the Snitch was caught. He loved the rush he got when he outwitted the Keeper, and managed to get the Quaffel into the hoops. Not to mention the huge crowd cheering him on was quite the ego boost. He was almost sad when Mary caught the Snitch, as he loved playing and now it was over. But that sadness was soon replaced with elation. As the captain, Gryffindor's incredible performance could be partially contributed to the plays he'd made and practices he'd ran with his team. He let out a loud whoop as Mary circled over to him, Snitch in hand. She had the most peculiar expression on as she stared at him, but he had no idea why. Then he heard Fawley's announcement, and started to feel like something was going on that he wasn't a part of. He looked over at the stands, where Lily was standing in front. No one else was standing, which was quite odd.

Then the lights began to pop up. At first James thought it was a trick of his eyes, but no. Slowly, each person's wand began to come alight with pinwheels of sparks. Some were red, others bright and fiery, kind of like Lily's hair. It was beautiful, as more and more wands became aglow with sparks. He took a second to look at Lily's face, now aglow. There was the most curious expression burning in her deep green eyes. He looked back up, taking in the entire stadium. His breath caught.

The yellow and red sparks were spelling something out. As more and more students put their wands into the air, the more clear the message became.

 _JAMES, WILL YOU MARRY ME?_

It was as if the world stopped. He couldn't feel his fingers or feet. It was as if light and heat was pouring out and surrounding his body. Lily looked aglow from the sparks flying around her face.

For the first time he could ever remember, James forgot how to fly.

In shock, he slipped off the front, green field rushing quickly to meet him. It was almost as nice of a green as Lily's eyes were.


	8. A Toast to the End of the World: Part I

**Hey guys, just a reminder to REVIEW!**

 **xoxo**

 **Enjoy the new chapter!**

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Severus had never been a very compassionate person. It wasn't as if he didn't have a soul or anything, he just knew that feeling sorry for a person can lead to a whole mess, and it was better to remain indifferent. He was calculated, and having friends or someone to care for just didn't fit into the equation of his life. Sometimes he imagines a different life for him, one where his parents regarded him with more than casual interest, where he wasn't basically thrust into the world of the Dark Arts by his mother from birth, one where he was able to make and keep friends. Usually a certain redhead comes to mind in these daydreams, the only person he'd ever called a friend. But things aren't as nice outside his head, and it isn't practical to be consumed by imagination. This was his reality, and he'd accepted it. But suddenly reality was feeling all too real for him, as he sat on the dungeon floor at midnight, adding horrid ingredients to his illegal potion. He'd tried to keep a straight face and quiet demeanor throughout the process, but as he added a cup of ground human heart, he couldn't help but flinch. Nott, the trained dog he was, sniffed out his hesitance immediately.

"Too hard for you to swallow Snape?" He sneered. Severus hated Nott, and his band of cronies. He also hated being kept in the dark about what the potion was for, just given a handwritten list of instructions. But he knew not to ask, as it would be seen as questioning the Dark Lord's orders. Nott was now in position to take a high seat next to Voldemort when he graduates for the recruiting he'd been doing at school. What he said, Severus did.

Trying to act indifferent, Severus shrugged.

"The consistency should be thicker by now, is all." He said evenly. It wasn't true, the potion as a whole was looking to be done ahead of schedule. Snape never doubted his potion abilities, but he couldn't show any weakness, even with the vile smells and ingredients he'd been working with.

"You better not screw this up." Nott said, scowling. They'd been at this for hours, Nott commenting on him nastily, Severus remaining cold. Suddenly his annoyance was too much.

"Think I'd go soft on you Nott? I'm the reason this mission will be a success, nothing else." He snapped. Nott sneered, and left to get the final ingredient, one which on the instructions is listed as _beings._ Severus did not like the vagueness of this instruction, as he wanted to be prepared for whatever unpleasant thing he would have to spread the potion on. It was a sinister red color, boiling sluggishly, just as it was meant to.

Nott appeared again, levitating a large bag in front of him. Seeing the shape, Severus's heart filled with horror. With a flick of his wand, Nott upturned it's contents, hitting the floor with hard thuds. Suspicions confirmed, Severus couldn't keep the look of shock off of his narrow face. What was the Dark Lord planning for here at Hogwarts? He looked up at Nott, smiling like a shark.

"Still sure you won't go soft on me then?"

x xx x xx x xx x xx x xx x xx x

Sirius Black couldn't think of a worse way to spend a Saturday, than bathing flobberworms with Hagrid. Another boy was with him, Ned Hanson, a Ravenclaw fourth year. He had a half-thrilled half-terrified look in his blue eyes, an expression one usually gets when it's their first detention. Of course Sirius was a seasoned professional, but why couldn't McGonagall have just given them lines or something? Instead he had to lather, shampoo, and dry flobberworms. He'd began to name them as he worked. This one was Stinky. He'd been particularly gross. He'd make a joke about it to Ned, but they weren't aloud to talk. Stinky was letting out happy squeaks as Sirius dried him in a fluffy towel that Hagrid had provided, and put him next to the other drying flobberworms (Juju, Wiggles, and Dave.)

It wasn't even his fault he was in detention! Ned here had tried to pick a fight with a sixth year, and one who looked like he ate basilisks for breakfast no less. Sirius had only intervened to make sure Ned wasn't pulverized. And of course the beefy guy ran off when he saw Flitwick, leaving a battered Ned and Sirius to take the blame for the corridor that was in shambles. Of course, later Ned explained that the guy was calling him a Mudblood, so he supposed it was worth it in a way. He thought of this as he struggled with a particularly colicky worm, one he deemed Crusher. Suddenly, a sharp noise sounded behind him, assumably in the forest.

He'd been hearing things for a while, twigs snapping, leaves rustling, but had written the noises off as his imagination playing tricks on him. But this one caused Hagrid's dog, Jet, to bare her teeth and growl in warning. Jet was one of the friendliest dogs ever, so something must be up. Sirius whipped his head back, searching the treeline, but he couldn't discern anything from the dark leaves. He began to inspect his surroundings. Ned was busy washing and humming to himself, completely unaware. The Whomping Willow was swaying lazily, only to flick a stray leaf or two off its branches. Most students were inside, as it was a chilly day in early December and the weather was beginning to turn nasty. Sirius didn't see a person anywhere, save for him and Ned. Very odd.

Suddenly, Sirius saw an electric blue curse shoot past his head. The spell hit his tub, water showering his back and face. Ned looked shell shocked, ducking with his hands covering his head. Next to him lay a burnt worm caracas.

"Crusher!" Sirius cried. He grabbed his wand out, and turned to face whoever cast that spell. It was Sinvellus, Nott, and some of their fan club. Sirius's heart sank, as he saw one of the faces in the back. It was Regulus. His baby brother.

"Sorry about your little pet, Black." Snape sneered. "So unfortunate."

Annoyance clenched in Sirius's gut.

"What do you want Snively? Missed all the ass kickings and come back for more?" He taunted. And it was true that Sirius hadn't bothered Snape all year. He'd like to think he'd matured a bit, but it was also that as a Seventh year with no financial help from his parents, he needed a relatively clean record for when he graduated and looked for jobs. But why was Snape antagonizing him out of the blue? He glared at him, determined not to look at his brother's gaze.

Snape laughed flatly.

"Always the class clown Black. Too bad that'll only get you so far in life." It was as if he'd read Sirius's mind.

"Better than kissing up to thugs and criminals until one gets bored and offs me." Sirius shot back.

Nott let out an ugly laugh from behind Snape. Annoyance flashed in the pale boy's black eyes. Siruis was beginning to grow wary. It was one against five (he'd hardly count Ned, the boy looked like he was about to wet himself in the face of conflict), and if they were actively seeking him out, something must be up.

Snape turned towards Regulus, and harshly shoved him forward. Looking dazed, Regulus blinked, and strode over to him. Sirius hadn't talked to his brother in months, but had a nasty suspicion he knew what this was about.

Regulus looked up at him, grey eyes nervous. "This is your last chance to join." He said quietly. "I don't care what happened with mom right now, I just want you to be safe from what's coming."

It wasn't the first time he'd been asked to join Voldemort's ranks. As a Black, even one as traitorous as him, he'd have top priority in recruitment. It was his parents' reputation, their revolting pureblood mania, that had gotten him this status. Sirius guessed that none of these people gave a damn if he joined, but Regulus convinced them to appeal to him one more time. It made his heart tighten to think of his brother, only a third year, already prepared to sign his life away to the wrong side.

"Reg, why are you doing this to me?" He asked honestly.

"Because you're my brother."

"Do you understand what these people do, what _he_ does? Reg, you're too young throw your life away."

"I'm doing what mom, dad, and everyone in the family agree is right." Regulus said defensively. "I don't have much of a choice in the matter anyway."

He always used that against Sirius, how he ran off and abandoned him. Their last conversation was a screaming match about just that. If he could, he'd do anything to go back to that day and take Reg with him, taking him away from the hatred and brainwashing of his parents. But he was just a scared, selfish kid. And now his bother, only a third year, is asking him to join a band of murderers because he doesn't want Sirius to resist and thusly be killed. Fucked up world they were living in, isn't it?

Sirius sighed defeatedly.

"You know I chose my side a long time ago." He said.

"I know." Regulus replied sadly, "I was just hoping you'd give it one more thought, and realize it's the logical decision. And now you're probably going to pay for it." He sounded as if he was giving Sirius's eulogy at a funeral or something. His voice was laced with fear. Sirius felt his heart break.

"Told you he was too thick to reason with." Nott sneered and gestured Regulus back. Reg shot him one last sad look, and Sirius suddenly feared that it was the last time they'd ever speak. Once he was behind Nott, the hulking boy gave a lazy flick of his wand, and Sirius went flying backward. He had been too distracted by Regulus's conversation to prepare, and it was so unexpected he didn't even have time to defend himself. He landed hard on his back, stars erupting in his eyes. He heard scrambling behind him, most likely Ned.

"You bastards! I'm getting Hagrid!" He shouted bravely. Sirius heard him running off, the boys snickering.

"You got this one, Black." Nott said quietly. Sirius heard his brother yell _Stupefy!_ and Ned's body hitting the ground. His thoughts swirling with confusion from the curse Nott hit him with, he began to stumble onto his knees. Suddenly a kick was issued to his ribs, so forceful he felt all the air leave his body. Blinding pain ripped through his side. He shot a hex at Nott's feet, causing him to be flung back into the air. He crashed into Regulus, the two sprawled out on the ground. His hand was stomped on by a black boot, and his wand was snatched away. Suddenly Sirius was yanked up by a pair of hands. His face was thrusted upward, to meet Severus. His eyes were bloodshot and hysterical, teeth bared into an ugly snarl.

"I never got a chance to repay you Black. You tried to take my life once. It's about time I repaid the favor." His voice was deadly and full of hatred. Sirius spat in his face, but he dodged. How dare he bring that night up, when Sirius had felt shame from it almost every day? He'd almost made the worst mistake of his life, had almost lost his friends, because of some stupid prank.

"You don't scare me Snape." He spat. Snape smiled, as if that was exactly what he had wanted to hear.

"I may not, but this will." His two goonies, Yaxley and Gripe, waved their wands and muttered an incantation Sirius didn't recognize.

The rustling in the woods became louder, and it was clear something large was moving towards them. The first creature erupted from the darkness, and Sirius felt his heart stop. More and more of them came his way. His body froze in fear, mind blank. How could he possibly defend himself, wandless and outnumbered? He did the only thing he could to: He ran.

Hearing Snape's oily laugh behind him, Sirius sprinted towards the castle. He had to warn the others, as the creatures were definitely not going to stop outside. Jet was barking wildly behind him, until a sharp whine cut her off. Sirius didn't want to think of what happened.

He suddenly tripped, body flying forward. It was Ned, unconscious from Regulus's spell. Dammit. Sirius couldn't just leave him here. The creatures were gaining on him, he was rapidly running out of time. Shaking Ned, he saw the boy's eyes flutter in confusion.

"You're up, we gotta go!" He bellowed. Still confused, but now terrified, Ned stumbled up sluggishly. But as soon as he'd arisen he was tackled by the hideous thing that had been chasing them. Sirius turned, punching it away, but it was too strong. Its claws dug into Ned's flesh, until Sirius yanked it off. It turned to attack him, as three more creatures converged on the boys. Sirius felt gnawing teeth on his side as he tried to shield Ned, who was knocked out cold once more. Suddenly he felt his vision clouding over. The last thing he saw was Snape's hazy figure standing over him.

"That's enough for now. It's time to pay the castle a visit."

x x x xx x xx x x x

"So are we thinking a summer wedding, of autumn?" Lily asked.

James groaned, and rolled over to where his girlfriend (fiance?) lay next to him, a teasing smirk on her lips.

"We aren't thinking of _any_ wedding! Because I haven't asked you yet." He said stubbornly. Lily giggled gaily. She loved to rub it in his face that she asked him first, and, in her words, 'in a way that could never possibly be topped'. It had been one of the best moments of his life, save the blinding concussion right afterwards, but still, James was a bit pissed.

"It feels like I've slacked off on my duties as a man!" He had explained. Lily had rolled her eyes at his reasoning that they guy was supposed to asked. But he had made a promise that day. They wouldn't be officially engaged until he asked Lily. She had reluctantly agreed, probably because she saw how important it was to him. That wasn't to say she didn't tease him relentlessly about when he was going to pluck up the courage to ask her.

Lily yawned hugely next to him. It was nice, having a Saturday all to themselves. Usually they'd have to get up to study for classes by now, but for some reason the professors had been surprisingly lenient on them this week, and they were determined to take full advantage of that fact. They stayed in Lily's bed all morning, snuggling and chatting. Of course, Lily had brought their engagement up to tease him.

"I'm thinking a pink dress instead of traditional white, how would that sound to you?" She joked now.

"Pink with your hair? It would be a disaster." She threw a pillow at him, giggling.

He wrapped her in a tight embrace, kissing her on the mouth. It was so healing being with Lily, the two of them in their own little world. With so much bad news going on outside, she was a safe haven. Moments of true happiness, without worry, were becoming rarer and rarer for the two of them, so James wanted to savor this as much as he could.

She swung her legs over him, now on top of his torso. They kissed more passionately than before, as if they both could read each other's minds. James loved the way Lily's lips felt on his neck, and groaned as she trailed kisses down his body. She knew she made him crazy, and loved doing it to torture him.

He threw off his t-shirt, and she was reaching for hers. But before she could finish her task, a knock issued at the girls' dormitory door. The two froze, in a terror and giddiness of being caught. Lily was trying to settle her breathing.

"What do you want, Mar?" She asked, annoyed.

"Miss Evans?" It was Professor Mcgonagall. They shared equal looks of terror and began to silently dress as quickly as possible.

Smoothing her hair, Lily ran for the door, and swung it open.

"Hi Professor!" She said with false enthusiasm. "James here was just helping me with my Transf-"

"It's urgent." Mcgonagall said, a look of utmost seriousness on her face. This quieted the two.

"Since the Head Boy is here too this will be a bit easier. There is an attack on the school. You will be in charge of taking students back to their common rooms and ensuring their security."

"What?" James gasped. Mcgonagall looked worried and in quite a hurry.

"There isn't more time to explain, Mr. Potter. I have to go and secure the school. I trust you two to take care of our students. They're in excellent hands." Wit that she turned with a swish of robes and hurried away.

James looked at Lily. An equal look of terror was mirrored on her face.

"The students! We have to go. I'll take care of Slytherin and Hufflepuff, since their rooms are on the lower levels, you get Gryffindor and Ravenclaw to their towers." She instructed. He admired her courage and control so much. Looking at her, green eyes hard with determination, he decided he could never love something as much as he loved her.

Quickly he kissed her hard. Who knows what'll happen to them today? He didn't want to think about it.

"I'll see you as soon as I can." He promised. She nodded stiffly. The two made their way down to the Common Room, instructing all students to stay put in it until further notice. As it was a weekend, luckily many were there, but James noticed all of the Marauders were missing. Alice and Marlene too. He tried to steady his rapid heart. James and Lily exited the portrait hole, hand in hand. He gave hers a squeeze.

"Until later Evans. Be careful." He said.

"Alway am Potter. I'll see you at dinner." She gave him a tight smile. James's mind and heart were going into overdrive.

He always knew when she was lying.


	9. A Toast to the End of the World: Part II

**HELLO! Thanks for the super sweet reviews guys!**

 **I'm sorry that I've been taking a lot longer with updates lately. School and midterms are literally killing me. So thanks for sticking around y'all!**

 **XOXO**

Lily was running headfirst into the fray. Students were streaming past her, up staircases toward their common rooms in a panic. It made it exponentially harder for her to get to the bottom levels. She cut through a tunnel that James had shown her. She remembered that day, he'd taken her exploring throughout the castle. They'd shared excited giggles and kisses in the dark secret passageways. It made her stomach twist into knots just remembering it.

No. It wasn't time to get sappy and sentimental. James would be fine. They've been training with the Order every week since they signed to join after spring. He knew his stuff and so did she. If only McGonagall was less vague about the attack! She had absolutely no idea what she was running in to.

The passage came out by the dungeons, which was perfect for herding Slytherins back to safety. Lily spotted a group of terrified first years, and ran to collect them. There were some Ravenclaws with them, but she figured they could all just go to the same common room for now, given the circumstances. The kids were whimpering.

"You. Lead me to your common room." Lily instructed. The little boy with curly black hair and a green tie too big for him nodded bravely and took her hand in his smaller one. The group moved carefully through the halls, but so far Lily had detected no danger. It was as if it was a normal Saturday, save from the groups of students running away from the entrance hall. More and more would reach their group, spot the Head Girl, and latch on. Lily moved with haste but had her guard up. One of the kids had a nasty gash down the side of her face, some others were covered in dirt and bruises. The unknown threat was causing Lily to shake.

Suddenly, the screams were louder than before, down a corridor to the left. Lily looked down at the boy holding her hand.

"The common room isn't too far now. Can I trust you to get everyone there?" She asked, knowing this kid was up to the challenge. He had told her that the common room was close, and had pointed in the opposite direction of the chaos. She instructed some fifth years that were now with the group to put up Shield Charms. Then she ran off towards the screams.

Speeding down the corridor, she ran through her head the best defensive spells and curses to use. As the chaos got louder, she slowed. It was around a corner. Now creeping towards the hallway, she carefully got her wand ready and peeked her head around. She had to stifle a gasp.

It was Inferi, about a half dozen of them. The re-animated bodies of the dead. They looked like normal men and women at first glance, until you saw their dead white eyes and bloated figures. The bodies' skins were tinted green, and full of black dirt. But they still had clothes on as if they were going to work, or headed out for a bite to eat. It made bile rise in Lily's throat.

The creatures were moving towards a pair of terrified students. One had stunned a couple, but they would only be down for a bit. Lily ran out, but suddenly her mind was blank. What was the best defense against an Inferius? They'd barely touched on it in her Defense class last year.

"Stupefy!" She yelled, stunning a couple more. But they were full of dark magic, and the curse only seemed to effect them for a couple seconds or so, before they began to rise again, shaking off. Quickly, Lily ran in front of the two students. She put a Binding spell on one, but again it had little effect.

"Incarcerous!" She screamed, ropes springing from her wand. They tied themselves around the nearest body, effectively felling the creature. It struggled, but couldn't move. The others were closing in on them. One, a woman who still had bright red lipstick over her dead lips, let out a terrifying screech and lunged at Lily.

"Incendio!" Lily cried. The woman tore her nails down Lily's arm, but then burst into flame. She shrieked, and backed away in confusion, falling onto the rope-bound man. The two began to burn in ernest, skin charring and flesh melting away. Of course, fire! She couldn't believe she'd forgotten. The other creatures began to stumble away quickly. Lily cast Burning charms at them, but one got away. The other three were caught in a fiery ring Lily had produced. The rancid smell of burning flesh filled the air, making the two boys who were behind Lily gag.

She turned to them. They were close to the kitchens now. The Hufflepuff common room was nearby. The two boys were wearing yellow ties, but were also full of scratches, that were beginning to ooze a green foul pus. Her arm was stinging, and looking a bit green now too. She had no idea what that meant.

"Get to your common room. Once a teacher finds you, get Madame Pomfrey." She instructed. They gave her tight nods, and ran off. She had to find the creature that escaped, and was certain there were more.

Swallowing hard, Lily took off to fight once more.

XX X XX X XX X XX X XX X XX X XX XX X XX X XX XX XX XX XX

Peter had never felt so spineless. Alice was next to him, the two walking along the Hogwarts halls in search of students. The two were studying for the upcoming exam in Charms, when they heard a weird ruckus outside the library. Alice, ever the compassionate one, poked her head out to see if everything was okay, and heard students screaming about monsters loose in the castle.

"We have to go help!" She'd cried. Peter himself was ready to hide in the back of the library under some books until it was all over. But he bit his tongue and followed her out.

Now they were creeping around the castle, looking for students in danger. Peter was shaking so hard that Alice had asked him if he was okay repeatedly. Yet she was so calm and collected. It made him feel like the biggest coward on the planet.

Truth be told, Peter just wasn't the same as his friends. He wasn't as brave as James or Sirius, not nearly as compassionate as Remus or Lily. Peter didn't want to be a part of the war. Every Order meeting, his friends left in good spirits and excitement, he left with a black pit in his stomach. Lately he'd been having nightmares of them all, together and fighting Voldemort. He'd be pinned by a Death Eater, and the others would be fighting with ease. He'd call for help, but his friends didn't care enough to bother. They ran off to help others, Peter left to die.

And this was only the beginning here. Now, with the attack, Alice's first instinct had been to fight. Peter's had been to flee and hide.

Suddenly, there was an odd scratching sound behind them. Whipping around, Alice pulled out her wand in a defensive stance, but was blown off of her feet. The staircase by the two was blown apart by the spell, rubble raining down on Peter. He ducked, and searched for Alice. She was next to him, trapped and unable to move. There was a dark figure amidst the dust, but more noticeably, were the creatures walking towards him. At first he thought they were some hurt students. As the moved more into focus, he screamed.

"Pete... Fire." Alice said weakly next to him.

Fire? Peter shot some burning spells at the creatures. They kept advancing, as his spells were too weak in his terror. Peter shut his eyes. He was just a kid. He couldn't do this. He couldn't. He began to shoot off spells at random, just trying to stop the beasts.

"Peter! Be careful you could hit students!" Alice shouted next to him. But he couldn't look, and he couldn't stop. He just kept firing and firing, screams all around him. He was pretty sure one of them was his.

XX X XX X XXX X XX X XX XX X XX X XX X XX X XX X XX X XX X XX X

James sped through corridors, ushering students back to their common rooms. Luckily Professor Sprout was around, and helped him secure the Ravenclaw tower. All Ravenclaws, save three, were in there. Now it was his job to make sure the other three missing students were safe. Gryffindor was reporting most students safe, but it was unclear as of right now because they had no teacher helping them. He didn't want to think of what may be happening to the missing kids. Students had ran up the stairs to him, full of cuts and bruises. Some even had bite marks, oozing green. Word filtered through the crowd to him that it was Inferi, somehow an army of Inferi had gotten into the walls of Hogwarts.

As he neared the Great Hall, he heard voices from an adjacent corridor. It was Nott and some of his cronies. Two of the boys were in deep concentration, seemingly muttering some sort of spell. Now confused, James crept closer. If only he had more time, he'd have thought to bring his Invisibility Cloak with him. The boys were looking out over the Great Hall, where there was a pack of thirty or so students. They were screaming in terror as a a dozen or so ghastly looking creatures closed in on them. They were on tables, throwing benches at them in attempts of defense. Some students were attempting spellwork, but none seemed to know what to do.

"Like standing on a table's gonna stop them." Nott snickered with his two pals. James gasped in disgust.

Nott spotted James, and looked wary for a second, but masked it with arrogance.

"How's the Head Boy doing? Got your hands full?" He asked, sneering.

"I'm obviously not doing as good as you. Terrorizing some eleven-year-olds? You must be so proud of yourself." James shot back angrily.

"What are you going to do about it?" Nott taunted. James grit his teeth hard.

"Well, first I'd like to know what Dumbledore would think of all this." He said calmly. "Then I'd probably want to kick your ass."

Nott let out an ugly laugh, but the two boys with him looked a bit nervous. One faltered his spellcasting. James noticed, as he fumbled with his words, some of the corpses stumbled. He picked his incantation back up, and they too began to pick themselves up.

"Petrificus Totalus!" James cried, wand pointing at the boy. He froze and fell to the floor. With him, half of the Inferi also fell, becoming only dead bodies once more.

"You Blood Traitor scum!" Nott cried, and fired hexes at James. He ducked, but one caught him in the ear, causing it to ring loudly.

He shot stunning spell, but missed. Nott cast another curse that James had never heard. It hit him like a punch in the gut, knocking him onto his back. Stars erupted in his eyes, and the curse caused him to lean over and vomit violently. Shit. Nott had the upper hand now, and obviously wasn't afraid to use dark magic. Another curse hit his left arm with a force that caused it to snap. Blinding pain hit James, and another wave of nausea overtook him. James grit his teeth, and crawled to face Nott. He had a horrible sneer on his face. The pain from the two curses were making tears squeeze from James's eyes. He got one good hex in though, and Nott fell to the ground like a sack of potatoes. Suddenly James heard voices.

"Nott? What the hell do you think you're doing?" It was the unmistakable voice of Severus Snape. "Your stupidity in getting into a schoolboy brawl will blow the whole operation."

James heard some scuffling, and Snape appeared to be dragging Nott upwards, him and the other boy who was controlling the Inferi fleeing. Snape shot one, undoubtably triumphant and gloating, look at James.

"Don't think for a second I don't know you're in on this too." James said, through gritted teeth.

"Too bad you won't have any proof." Snape said snidely, before yelling "Stupefy!"

Everything went black.

XX X XX X XX X XX X XX X XX XX XX X XX X XX X XX X XX XX XX XX XX

"Dorcas?" Remus asked.

It was Dorcas Meadows, Lily's old friend from Hufflepuff. She'd graduated two years ago, and last Remus had heard she'd been working on becoming an Auror. She had short black hair and caramel skin. Her eyes spotted Remus, and widened.

"Lupin!" She shouted, gesturing him over. Remus was now realizing how harried she looked, and that there were some students with her that had fearful expressions. He jogged towards them from his reading spot by the lake.

"What's going on?" He asked dumbly. It was obviously something big.

"Attack on Hogwarts. I'm securing the outside perimeters of the campus." She said in an authoritative voice. She seemed ages older than the girl Remus knew in Hogwarts who'd once ate a bottle of lacewing flies because Lily said she was too chicken.

"What can I do to help?" Remus asked hoarsely. She looked at him seriously.

"Stick by me. We'll look for more stragglers outside. Then get them to a safe space, a common room." He nodded, and the group took off. The two kids with him had Quidditch robes on, and must've been practicing out on the field. Dorcas explained the logistics of the attack, it was Inferi, and Aurors had been called in as soon as the teachers knew what was happening. The center of the attack seemed to be around the Great Hall. It must have been students who orchestrated it, as being such as Inferi would have been detected coming into the grounds, but dead bodies would not have. That thought made Remus feel a bit ill.

They busied themselves looking for any students who were outside. Dorcas had told Remus that most of the grounds had been searched, save for by Hagrid's. Nearing his hut, Remus sensed something was wrong. Hagrid's old dog, Jet, lay awkwardly on the ground. She'd been torn and bitten at by the looks of it, and was dead. Then Remus noticed the two bodies laying about a hundred meters away.

"Dorcas!" He cried, running towards them. Heart pounding, he recognized one immediately, but begged that it was someone else. Sirius was laying face-down, unconscious. Nasty green gashes tore into his back, deep. Blood and green ooze were leaking out. Dorcas knelt beside him, beginning to mutter healing spells.

"Ned!" The two kids with Dorcas must be friends with the other guy. They were shaking him and calling his name in fear. His eyes began to flutter, and he let out a low moan of pain.

"Come on Sirius." Remus said in desperation. The spells were closing his wounds, but he still hadn't woken. Tears leaked out of Remus's eyes. Dorcas was in deep concentration, murmuring spell after spell.

Suddenly, Sirius's grey eyes opened. He looked up at the two, confusion present on his face.

"Moony?" He asked weakly. Remus laughed with relief.

XX X XX X XXXX X XX X XX XX X X XX XX X X XX X XXX X X XX XX X X

It was the strangest thing. One minute, Lily had been battling three Inferi on her way to the Great Hall. One had gone up in flames, but the two grabbed each of her arms, tearing madly. And then, they fell. The two Inferi fell, as if they died all over again. The third though, was still quite active, as it swatted at Lily. But the fire overcame it, and it too fell to the ground. Lily walked cautiously over to the three bodies, giving one a good kick. Yep. Quite dead. Maybe someone stopped whoever was behind this, but Lily didn't think for a second it was over. There were still very real Inferi walking the corridors.

She stepped into the Great Hall, where the rest of them seemed to be congregating. Again, about half were on the floor, dead corpses once more. There were still about six or so up and moving, trying to reach the students who had built a makeshift fort with the tables around themselves. There were probably thirty kids in the hall, some trying to attack, others making a run for it. Lily began to blast fire at the Inferi. Once her spell caught one in the back, other kids noticed how effective fire was. The Incendio charm was only taught to fourth years and higher, but the kids who knew it began to cast at the Inferi. Shrieking filled the air, as the corpses flesh burned. Lily felt triumph fill her gut. It was almost over.

Suddenly, figures darted through the smoke. It was Nott and another boy. They were running for the door, with horribly angry expressions on their faces. Lily cut them off.

"What do you think you're doing?" She asked coldly.

"Get out of my way, you filthy Mudblood." Nott snarled. Lily shot a hex that landed him on his back. She Disarmed him, his wand flying in a high arc into the rubble.

"Not until you tell me where you're going in such a rush!" She said defiantly. Nott spat at her feet.

"There's an attack. We're trying to flee." He said, sneering. It was obviously a lie.

"Either get back to your common room, or I'll make you." Lily snapped. The guy next to her had a queer expression on his face. Lily noticed he had his want out, and he was muttering a curse. Realization dawned on her.

"It was you." She said quietly. Nott laughed coldly. Suddenly, he got up and rushed at her. He pushed her back, and she landed with her head cracking against the floor. A sharp blow hit her face, and she heard the sickly crunch of her nose breaking.

"Let's get out of here." Nott commanded. Him and the boy took off into the smoke, but Lily still had her wand. Her vision was a bit fuzzy, and she'd have to aim carefully.

"Expeliarmus!" She called towards the boy, Nott's friend who's name she didn't know. His want flew from his fist, in Lily's direction. Nott turned in shock and fury. Once the wand hit the floor, the reaction was immediate. Every single Inferi that was still up or fighting, fell to the floor.

"You'll pay for this!" Nott called, and grabbed his friend by the shoulder. The two ran from the castle as fast as they could.

Lily pulled herself up, but she knew it was too late, until she heard shouts from outside the castle doors.

Some figures emerged from outside. It Remus, carrying Sirius by his shoulders.

"We tried to get them, but Nott got away." He said, gasping. Three other kids followed, one looking quite worse for wear.

"Is Sirius alright?" Lily asked, tears springing to her eyes. Sirius looked up weakly.

"Just peachy, Lils."He joked. She smiled in relief. Behind the group, levitating Nott's friend in a Body Bind, was Dorcas.

"Dorcas!" Lily shouted, and threw her arms around her.

"Hey Lils," Dorcas smiled. "I wish our reunion could've been on better terms." Lily laughed weakly.

"We're taking them to the Hospital Wing." Remus said, gesturing to the hurt boys. Dorcas nodded.

"I've been informed that the castle is secure. No more danger." She explained. "Now we're supposed to take any hurt students to the Hospital Wing. I guess some extra Healers are being brought in."

"I'll help." She said firmly. Dorcas gave her an unsure look.

"Honestly, you look like you need a trip to the Hospital Wing yours-"

"I'm helping, Dorcas." Lily said firmly. Dorcas grinned.

"Never could tell you what to do, Evans. Alright, let's do this."

They made their way to the Hospital Wing. Ignoring her throbbing nose, Lily directed students to different Healers, making sure each one was attended to. Most kids weren't hurt, just scared. Some had burns, others bruises. She did her best to be soothing, and calm them, but it was hard when she herself was shaking like a leaf from her battle with the Inferi before. She went from common room to common room, grabbing any hurt children. In the Hufflepuff room, some Healers were already there when she entered. Her heart skipped a beat when she recognized one as James's mom.

Mrs. Potter had a striking resemblance to James. She had the same soft hazel eyes, which were rimmed with glasses, and the same crazy flyaway hair, only in blonde. She gave Lily a hug.

"I'm glad to see you're alright." She said, smiling. Euphemia had been Lily's rock this summer, along with James and Sirius, when her family became too much. The two had formed a very close relationship.

She went to work, fixing Lily's broken nose in a heartbeat, and starting on the nasty claw-marks and scratches on her arms and legs. She explained that because Inferi were cursed objects, the damage they do is harder to heal than a normal wound. Lily admired her as she concentrated, murmuring different incantations and charms at her. Euphemia had the same determined look James had when he was solving a complex problem. Lily didn't feel the scratches at all anymore by the time she was done, but was told the scars were likely to hang around for a couple months. She didn't give a damn about that, and quickly stood to go find James and help more students. It was selfish, but she really didn't feel like doing Head Girl duties until she knew he was ok. Mrs. Potter seemed to sense her worry, and gave her shoulder a squeeze.

"He'll be fine dear. James is one of a kind, and can take care of himself."

Lily smiled. "I know." She said.

"Good. Now, I will not allow our next meeting to be out of some other tragedy. I'm forcing you to come to dinner at my house over next break." She said firmly. Lily laughed and promised she would. Then Mrs. Potter turned to help more students, and Lily felt her gut clench up once more in worry.

She stepped out of the Hufflepuff common room with, and noticed that Marlene was running towards her. She had a bandage over the side of her head, and green claw marks on her cheek. Lily threw her arms around her, breathing her in. Tears sprung in her eyes. She wasn't sure if she was ever going to see her best friend again before this, smell her lemon perfume, hear her gruff chuckle. They broke apart, and Lily saw a look in Marlene's eyes that made her heart plummet.

"James?" She asked horsely.

"Hospital wing. And Alice..." Marlene trailed. Lily took her hand and the two ran, up the rubbled entrance, up the stairs, to the wing.

Lily stepped into the room. Almost all the beds were full, and most had clusters of students standing beside them in worry. Mary was next the first bed, head in her hands. She seemed to be praying. Although it made her feel wracked with guilt, Lily hoped it wasn't James in the bed. It wasn't. It was Mary's little brother, Ben. One of his arms was in a cast, and he was unconscious. Madame Pomfrey was dabbing an ointment on his chest, which had a deep, sickly green gash running down the middle. Lily hurried to Mary's side, and the two hugged in an unspoken moment of grief. Marlene stroked Mary's hair, then motioned for Lily to follow her.

At the end of the room two beds were occupied. Alice was awake, but very pale and seeming in a lot of pain. She had a black eye and burns running up her arms. Frank was busying himself trying to care for her, but she kept brushing him off, complaining she was fine. Peter was also next to her, staring blankly at the wall.

The bed next to Alice's laid a sleeping Sirius, the one across from her was James.

Lily gasped, running over to him. His arm was in a sling, green scars running down his side. Madame Pomfrey came over, and fed him some vile-looking potion.

"Nott got me with some weird curse." He explained. "Have to take this potion once a day for a whole month!" He looked annoyed, but Lily laughed in relief.

"I'm so glad you're okay." She whispered, stroking his cheek. "I love you so much."

"I love you too, but it seems like we're a bit late on dinner, and you promised." He scolded. She laughed weakly.

After a couple of hours of recuperation, most of the students were allowed to leave. Many were still afraid, and teachers were on high alert, monitoring the grounds and halls. By midnight only about five beds were still occupied, three of them by James, Alice, and Sirius. Mary's brother was still out cold, a fact that made them all afraid. Lily and Marlene were propped against the wall next to James's bed. Lily and James hadn't stopped holding hands since she'd found him in here.

Remus was walking towards them, with Dorcas at his side. They'd been the least injured, and had gone to talk to Dumbledore. Lily and James perked their heads, all curious for news.

"Nott escaped, and his friends, Rosier and Caine, aren't talking. But they'll be expelled and sent to trial for this." Dorcas finished solemnly.

"We don't need a confession." Frank said angrily. "Anyone could see this was done by Voldemort."

They all sat in silence for a bit. Remus had come with a bottle of Firewhiskey in hand, explaining that everyone probably needed a bit. Lily couldn't agree more. Remus poured and handed out glasses in silence. Lily grabbed hers, staring at the amber liquid. She felt numb.

"Why would he do this? We're just kids." Mary sobbed suddenly.

"To send us a message." Alice said quietly. Lily looked at her, pale and strained. She knew Alice had been through hell the last month, with the deaths of her parents. It seemed to motivate her to fight even harder, work with the Auror program before she was even out of school, build up extensive knowledge on dueling and defensive spells. Lily had seen the war do a lot of things to her, but had never seen it make her afraid.

"How can we fight this? If Voldemort can attack a bunch of children, what will we do when we're actually out there?" Lily wondered aloud. Her friends looked at her with very solemn eyes. She couldn't make eye contact with any one of them, staring at her muddy shoes.

"What if we lose this?" Peter whispered. Lily had never seen him looking so small.

"No matter if we win, if we lose, if the bloody world ends, we'll be together. Fighting." Sirius said fiercely. The intensity of his words shook the entire group. They all stood, quiet in and their own heads. Suddenly, Remus rose his glass of firewhiskey.

"A toast." He said softly. "A toast to the end of the world."

One by one the friends lifted their drinks up. It was a solemn and deeply moving affair. Lily's eyes rested on each of her friends' for a moment: Sirius's hot anger, Remus's sincerity, Peter's terror, Dorcas's calm. They all filled Lily deep into her bones. She felt James's cold hand squeeze her own, long fingers interlocking with hers. A fire was building in her gut.

"Here here!" Sirius called out. Lily swallowed all these feelings into her gut along with her drink.

She knew this was the beginning of something quite real and terrifying, but looking into James's fierce hazel gaze, she also knew she was ready.

"Lily?" He asked.

"Will you marry me?"


	10. Shelter from the Storm

**Wow guys, the reviews I've been getting are so awesome! It makes writing this all the better :). I apologize for the long long long long break between updates. No excuse here other than life was getting in the way.**

 **Now for the next installment. I see the end of the story in sight, which is exciting but also sad.**

 **Friendly reminder that I own rights to nothing, etc. You've heard it all before.**

 **Enjoy the next chapter! Very fluffy!**

 **XX X XX X XX X XX X XX X XX X XX X XX X XX X XX X XX X XX X XX XX X**

Lily woke up on James's bed, heavy coat still on from the night before. Her pants were off though, so she had the mind about her to start changing into pajamas and must've fallen asleep in the middle. The blankets and sheets were all off of his bed, and she'd been using one of James's Quidditch robes as a pillow. She tried to giggle, still a bit drunk from the night before, but pain crashed through her head like someone filled it with Nifflers that were digging into her brain.

Where was James? The room was still spinning a bit as Lily took in her surroundings. She was at the Potter House, and had been for the past couple nights. Her dad thought she was out at Marlene's, but what he didn't know wouldn't kill him. They'd spent all of yesterday morning preparing the house for Christmas. It would've been easy to do it by magic, but Lily wanted to show James how fun it was Muggle-style. James griped, but Euphemia enjoyed helping the two. She was probably awake now, baking cookies. Downstairs Celestina Warbeck's Christmas album was humming smoothly on the record player.

"Nice knickers, Evans. I always pictured you as a lace kind of girl." Sirius's sleepy laugh emanated from behind her. Letting out a tiny shriek, Lily threw James's robes over her butt. She whipped her head around, which caused the headache pain to quadruple. Sirius was grinning roguishly, only in his tie and slacks from the night before.

"Where the hell were you?" Lily asked. Sirius shrugged and pointed to James's bathroom.

"Slept in the tub. Haven't the foggiest idea why." He chuckled. A piece of the fuzzy puzzle from last night clicked in Lily's head.

"Oh yeah, we thought you were gonna puke." Sirius looked indignant.

"Definitely not! Sirius Black is no puker." Lily laughed loudly now, because Sirius was never able to handle his liquor. She'd spent countless nights holding his hair as he gagged into the toilet after only having a few drinks.

"Black, deny all you want, but that is hogwash." Sirius scowled.

Suddenly there was a moan from the floor. Lily peered over the bed. It was James, who was on the floor in a cocoon of blankets. His body was full of obscene drawings that Lily, Sirius, and Laura had done the night before. Lily vaguely remembered tracing his sleeping body with a marker. It was the rule, whoever fell asleep first was subject to any form of pranking those still awake deemed fit. Drawing on him wasn't the most creative of jokes, but seeing the ridiculous mustache on his face still made her laugh.

"What happened last night?" James croaked up from the floor.

"We decorated you for the holidays." Sirius grinned. James's eyes widened, and he picked himself up off the floor, hurrying to his bedroom.

 _"Fuck"_ He said from the bathroom, Lily and Sirius chuckling. Laura, who'd managed to get to the guest room, wandered in, rubbing her makeup-smeared eyes.

"Mornin' Lads." She said, grinning. "How's everyone feeling?" She was answered by a chorus of groans.

"What happened last night?" Lily asked, as Laura had been the most coherent of the group. "All I remember is getting to the Leaky Cauldron and Sirius buying us all those flaming Rum shots."

Laura smiled, and began to fill the three of them in once James got back from the bathroom. Most of his body art had been washed nearly off, but the mustache had persisted despite his efforts. Laura explained that once they left the bar, they'd taken the Night Bus and subsequently got kicked off the Night Bus for disorderly conduct. Sirius and James were jumping on the beds together, Lily dancing around the poles like a mad woman. They got kicked out right by Mary's house, which was a blessed coincidence because Mary was babysitting her little brothers, and had all of her mental states in tact. Mary gave them a ride home in her dad's car (as a Muggle-born, her parents had made her learn how to drive.) Once they reached James's house, Lily and him tried to sneak off together, but both ended up tripping over the grandfather clock in James's living room and were caught. Laura made them all go up to James's room as to not wake his mom. Then they had deep drunk chats about their futures and families, all of which none of them could remember currently. Lily thanked Laura for watching out for the three of them, as it sounded like they were a handful.

"No problem, makes up for how I was on Halloween." Laura winked.

Suddenly, James's bedroom door burst open. All four of them jumped in surprise at the presence of Euphemia, who was clad in an apron and Santa hat.

"Merry Christmas Eve kids!" She called in a sing-song voice. "I have cookies that need taste testing, a dining room that needs cleaning, and spirits that must be made jolly! So get up sleepyheads!" She was so excited, but Lily felt so horrible. Sirius was trying to giver her a smile, but it looked more like a grimace. James was a little green. Lily suspected that Euphemia knew how hungover they were, and was getting a lot of satisfaction in this.

"Alright, let's have you all get dressed and then you can eat some breakfast! I went all out, there's meat pies, sausages, beans, smoked salmon, potatoes..." Her voice trailed as she walked down the hall, presumably to prepare more of the Christmas celebrations. Lily looked at James, with bloodshot eyes.

"Ready to get into the Christmas cheer?" She asked him.

"I'm just focusing on not throwing up in my mouth, honestly." He said.

 **XX X XX X XX X XX X XX X X XX X XX X XX X XX X XX X XX X XX X X**

"Dad, can you pass the ham?" Lily asked stiffly. The dish was sitting right next to Petunia, but Lily really didn't feel like acknowledging her existence at the moment. Her dad looked at her with a warning in his eyes, but passed her the dish anyway. Lily tried not to roll her eyes as Vernon went on and on about his new position at a drill company. She looked out the window. It was misty and droll outside, not at all like a Christmas Eve should look. But it matched Lily's mood, so she didn't mind.

She felt a reassuring squeeze of her hand from James, who was sitting next to her. His untidy black hair was swept back handsomely, and he wore a nice shirt and tie. He was going to wear dress robes, but Lily explained that they were a bit unusual-looking to Muggles. Seeming amused by the differences in the Muggle world versus the Wizarding world, James made Lily come with him to pick out proper attire. The two had spent all day in London, window shopping. James was fascinated by things such as the store that sold TVs and record players, and Lily had fun showing him how the Underground worked. It had been such a nice day really, which made the contrast in today's events even sharper in Lily's mind.

"So, James, what do you think you're going to do once you graduate in May?" Her father asked, breaking the tension. He'd always been the designated peacekeeper between the two girls, as Lily's mom had left when she was only two. She barely remembered her, other than she had the same bright red hair as Lily. Her dad had raised the girls without any help, aside from a few girlfriends here and there. She loved her dad, but she could tell the constant strain he was under once she was home, because of her constant clashes with her sister. It made her secretly feel like he'd be better off if Lily just didn't ever come home.

James cleared his throat. "Well sir, my parents really want me to do something in the Ministry. But paper-pushing is dead boring work, so I'm figuring the Auror department is the best route for me."

"Auror?" Her dad frowned. "I've never heard of that department."

"It's the Ministry of _Magic."_ Lily explained to him softly. "Aurors are like Police, basically."

"I see." He chuckled bemusedly, as he always does when Lily talks about the Wizarding world. He always takes whatever she tells him in stride, a fact she appreciated. She squeezed his hand affectionately, while Petunia scoffed under her breath.

"Daddy, we've just found a very nice house for sale in Surry." Petunia said loudly, obviously wanting to divert attention from Lily and her _abnormalities._

"That's lovely, Pumpkin." Her dad said fondly. "Although, I'll miss breakfast with you every Thursday."

"Oh, we can find another tradition." Petunia said with a hand wave. "At least I'm _around_ more than once or twice a year." Lily rolled her eyes.

"Would you rather me be around all the time?" She asked her sister sweetly.

"I'm just saying, poor Daddy here is all alone now-"

"Because you're _married._ We get it."

They lapsed into silence. Lily was very annoyed now.

"Let me guess." She whispered snidely. "Your lovely home looks exactly like every single other house in your subdivision?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Just that you must certainly need a house that fits your personality, is all."

"At least it'll be _normal."_ Petunia hissed. Lily rolled her eyes. Like she'd never heard that before.

"You'll never get it, you brat. I have a good life and a good husband, and I don't run off to some school full of crack pots all year and only come back when i like. It's disgraceful." Petunia sniffed.

"At least I'm not the one who's petty enough to put their wedding on the ONE day their sister couldn't go." Lily snapped. Unbeknownst to her, James and Vernon were beginning to argue as well.

"Can't you keep your girlfriend in line Potter?" He asked, clearly annoyed.

"Yes, usually I give her the belt for talking out of turn but I forgot it at home, you see." James retorted sarcastically.

"It's not Petunia's fault that people like _your kind_ are part of her family."

" _My kind_?"

"Has anyone tried this gravy?" Mr. Evans asked weakly, obviously knowing it was too late to divert the conflict.

"You should be _lucky_ I even bother with you anymore!" Petunia shrieked. "You and your freakish little boyfriend are nothing but trouble to us!"

"WE'RE ENGAGED!" Lily screamed. The house went silent. Lily was nearly snarling in anger. James blushed, Vernon and Petunia gaped.

"That's right, Tuney. My 'freaky' boyfriend is going to become my 'freaky' husband. I love him more than anything, but you wouldn't notice that, would you? You're too caught up in your perfect and boring life with this monstrosity!" She directed a hand at Vernon, who looked furious. She shouted so loudly she was sure her voice would give out. "And unlike you, I'll be kind enough to actually _invite_ you to my wedding!" She cried and forcefully got up. Petunia looked like she was about to as well, but instead kept her seat.

"I knew you'd find a way to make Christmas all about yourself." She hissed.

And with that Lily stormed out of the house, ignoring her dad's protests. She got out and just stood on the porch, panting. There were twinkling lights in most of the houses, but it just looked eerie and strange in this mist. Suddenly, her eyes wandered over to Spinner's End, and the darkened house. She swore she saw the curtains ruffle back once her head turned. She thought of the first time she found out she was a witch. Her and Tuney were best friends back then. Tears, hot and fat, began to slide down her cheeks. It wasn't as if she didn't love her sister. But it cut like a knife every time she was home, how Petunia would treat her like dirt. And now her happy news about her and James was ruined by this fight and her stupid temper. She sat on her porch, not minding the dampness of the mist seeping through her dress. Lifting her wand, she made snowflakes flutter around her head. There she sat, crying and creating snow, feeling like the loneliest person in the world. Until her front door squeaked behind her, and she was joined on the porch by someone else.

James rested his hand on her shoulder. A small, silver-wrapped box slipped into her hand.

"You know, I was going to save this for later, but I feel like it might make you feel better." James said gently. Lily ceased making it snow, and gingerly unwrapped the small box. She gasped. It was a diamond ring, encrusted in a small flower pattern of black opals.

"It's, it's..." Lily trailed, gratitude and love making words impossible.

"I hope the word you're looking for is 'perfect'." James chuckled. "I figured since we've been engaged for bit now, you deserved a proper ring. Happy Christmas Lily."

Lily gave him a watery smile. "James Potter. Even on such a dreadful day, you make me feel like the luckiest girl in the world." She said softly. He flashed her a crooked and cocky grin, the one she knew so well.

"I always knew I'd get the famous Lily Evans to fall for me one day." He joked. She laughed, and tackled him into a big bear hug.

"Hey!' He protested. "Those are my thing!" But as she began to kiss him frantically, his protesting was silenced.

XX X XX X XX X XX X XX X XX X XX X XX X XX X XX X XX X X

Sirius Black was drunk. Drunk as a house-elf on holiday. So drunk, he'd started talking in mumbles rather than words. So drunk, he didn't even remember the name of the bird he was snogging.

"Wazzyour name again?" He asked blearily, after a long and sloppy kiss. And then he was so drunk that he barely even felt the loud and caustic slap on his cheek from said bird as she huffed away offendedly.

Remus cackled from the couch.

"Padfoot, I've came up with the perfect New Year's Resolution for you." He said, grinning. Sirius scowled, but sat down hard next to him.

"And I s'pose you're gonna tell me whether er not I ask?" He said, mustering all coherency to snark at Remus.

He nodded solemnly. "Of course. Anyways, your resolution. Find someone like that." He pointed to the other side of the room. Sirius followed his finger, squinting at the person in question. It was Lily, dancing and laughing next to James. She was currently trying to feed him a bit of treacle tart from the snack table, and he was play-biting at her fingers. Remus and Sirius let out delighted laughs as she gave up and shoved it all over his face.

"So you're saying I should find Lily? James would be pretty pissed if I stole his girl."

Remus snorted. "Like she'd ever leave him for anyone. And you know what I'm saying. Find someone that makes you that happy. Not just some random at a party to flirt with and then use."

"You make me happy Moony, are you saying I sho' go for you?" Sirius asked, waggling his eyebrows.

"I doubt werewolves are your type." He replied drily. Sirius chuckled and planted a wet kiss on his buddy's cheek.

"Ugh! No wonder your Animagus is a dog." Remus complained, wiping saliva from his cheek. But then Peter was there suddenly, pulling him away for a game. Sirius stood up to follow the two, and somehow fell back down onto the couch. Seems he was too drunk to stand.

He didn't mind, as the whole place was in such a festive mood. They were at a Sixth Year's house, Katie Belby. She was a friendly Hufflepuff and, it turned out, an excellent party planner. She'd enchanted a waterfall of butterbeer to cascade down from the second story of the house, flowing from the balcony down into a small punch bowl on the table. The alcohol was flowing, the music was fantastic, and the food was top notch. Sirius closed his eyes, taking it all in. Remus's words kept coming back to him, though. He glanced around the room at all the happy couples. Laura and her new girlfriend, Tammy, whispering and holding hands shyly. Mary and Reg Cattermole, slow dancing together, looking at each other with deep admiration. Frank and Alice of course, dancing like maniacs next to them. Even Peter was talking to a girl, blushing and smiling with nerves. And finally, James and Lily.

They were walking over to him now, well it was more like James was dragging a laughing Lily by the hand.

"Pads! Have you feasted you eyes on this yet?" James asked boisterously, thrusting Lily's left hand into Sirius's face.

His eyes took a bit to focus, but it was a ring.

"James, you've shown it to almost every student of Hogwarts at this point." Lily complained, but Sirius saw a happy smile on her face behind her fiance.

"I can't help it. I just did such a good job." James said, cocky. Lily shoved him, and he fell onto Sirius's lap. Both of them had flushed cheeks and firewhiskeys in hand.

"You two will be the death 'v me." Sirius griped, ruffling James's hair.

"Oh you're just jealous I stole your boyfriend away." Lily teased.

"Watch it Evans, you never know. We could run off into the sunset if only James will just say yes!" Sirius cried. James played along, wrapping his arms around Sirius's head protectively. Lily snorted.

"Padfoot, I heard about your incident with Marissa Gardner earlier." James said, amused.

"Who?" Sirius asked. James and Lily burst out laughing.

"The mysterious girl who's name you forgot, you git." James chuckled.

"Oh, right." Sirius said theatrically. "Wasn' my type, anyway." The three laughed together. James whispered something in Lily's ear, and she blushed. The two's fingers were laced together, and they kept sharing these gooey lovey looks. It made Sirius want to yak (well, that could be more from the alcohol). He was reminded of what Remus said earlier.

"How do you guys do it?" He asked. James and Lily looked at him in interest. "Love, I mean. How are you two so damn good at it?" he continued. James turned thoughtful.

"I guess, it's something that takes a lot of work." James said. "You can't just quit the moment things turn tough. Otherwise I'd have stopped in fourth year when Lily said she'd rather date a Blast-Ended Skrewt." They all laughed at the memory.

"It's more than that too." Lily said seriously. "It's going through the day normally, except everything that happens reminds you of them. And when they're actually around, it's the best feeling in the world just to sit next to them, or run your fingers through their hair..." She trailed off, smiling.

"And all those years that I thought you hated my hair." James teased. Lily tickled his stomach, making his face red with laughter. Him and Sirius squirmed towards Lily, tickling her until she fell off the couch. Then James pulled Lily in for a long kiss. The two looked as if everything slipped away except for each other. Sirius had to admit, it touched something rather deep in his drunk heart.

"You two are ridiculous." He said, grinning. "I can't wait to go to your wedding."

"Well you better be." James said, pulling apart. "I need my Best Man to be on hand at all times."

A huge grin split down Sirius's face.

"You mean it?" He asked joyfully.

"Who else could we possibly want?" Lily asked kindly. Her expression of care and happiness made tears prick at Sirius's eyes. Suddenly (and he blamed this on the drink) he was full out sobbing.

"I'm jus' so happy for you two." He said in between sniffles, feeling their arms around him as the two pulled him into a tight embrace.

"You're more pissed than I thought Padfoot." James chuckled. "You know I'm never going to let you live this down, right." Sirius felt Lily shove him.

"I love you Sirius." She said fiercely into his ear. And the two were suddenly standing. Sirius looked up, wiping the last tear.

"I'll bring you some water." Lily said kindly, and she grabbed James's hand. James shot him one last _you'll-never-hear-the-end-of-this_ smirk before he turned to follow.

The two walked away, giggling. Sirius watched them go, looking stricken.

"What's wrong Pads?" Remus asked, coming up behind him. Sirius sighed sadly.

"They're bloody perfect Moony. You want me to find a love like that? I'm already doomed."


	11. Coward

**Hi all. Just a friendly reminder to REVIEW! :)**

 **xoxo**

This was it. He would get his redemption. He would finally put that privileged, arrogant moron in his place. And Lily would finally understand that her precious fiance was nothing but the snot-nosed prick that he'd alway been.

Severus raised his wand, preparing to strike. Potter was on the ground, tangled in his Binding spell. He thrashed, spewing insults at Severus. The usual, really. He was smelly, slimy, a coward. As if those words could hurt him anymore. Severus smiled tightly. It felt so good to have Potter at his mercy. Without his minions around, Severus had bested him fair and square. A ferocious triumph filled him. The git had honest-to-Merlin _fear_ in his hazel eyes while looking up at him. His Head Boy badge glinted in the light, reflecting shadows all over the darkened corridor. Severus realized with a jolt, there was someone standing right behind him. But Snape was beyond caring. It was seven years too late, this redemption, and no one would stop him.

" _Sectum-"_

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" It was Lily, who'd just discarded a strange silver cloak. She was standing tall, truly breathtaking in her terrible fury. Fiery hair twisted around her in the slight draft of the corridor, and her knuckles were white around her wand. Thrills ran down Severus's spine at getting caught. Her presence reminded him of how much he missed her.

"You'd be happy to know that your precious Potter accosted me whilst I was walking back from the library." Severus said cooly. "I'd just bound him up to prevent any more attacks." He lifted his cloak to display his torn robes in evidence. Her eyes widened in surprise, but quickly narrowed.

"Oh, and I'm sure that you were completely innocent here." She scoffed, rolling her eyes. With a sharp flick of her wand, the ropes holding James vanished. He panted on the floor, flexing his arms and legs. She turned her intelligent gaze back to Severus.

"Unlike you, Sev, James has changed enough to not care about petty grudges." She spoke with such a venom, that Severus shrunk back. "Why can't you realize this and grow up? It's as if you still think we could be friends. You chose your path a long time ago, so get over this stupid quarrel." She snapped. That hurt a bit. It made righteous anger well in Severus's stomach.

"But he attacked _me!"_ Severus protested, feeling a bit like a tattling little kid. "I'm not to blame here, Lily. When will you wake up and realize he's just as pig-headed and immature as he's always been?" Lily ignored him, helping Potter up. It sickened Severus to see his hands on her.

"Is this true?" She asked Potter quietly. He nodded, seemingly shame-faced. Severus scoffed.

"See? You have no grounds to defend him. He hasn't changed in the least." He said cruelly, glaring at Potter. Lily whipped her head up.

"Don't think I didn't hear that little spell you were going to use on him." She said. Severus flinched. "Yeah, I remember how you made up awful, terrible spells just for fun. What would that one have done to James? Probably nothing very innocent."

"I was just defending mysel-"

"Hardly." Lily snapped. "You've been waiting to get your revenge on James for years. How is that for change?"

"You have no idea how I've changed." Severus said through gritted teeth. Her eyes narrowed.

"I think I do. You've joined the Death Eaters, fallen deeper into Pureblood mania, and are ready to kill people like _me_ as soon as you get your diploma." She said. He'd never heard her voice so cold. It hit him with the power of a hard slap.

"I'd never hurt you." He said forcefully. She laughed ruthlessly.

"I'm not going to bother to argue with you over this. Come on James." She said, putting her arm around him for support, turning to go. The bastard shot Severus one last unreadable look, and the two walked off in the direction of the Gryffindor tower. Severus kicked the stone wall in anger. How did Potter always win, even when Severus had done nothing wrong?

He heard Lily's soft voice directed at Potter. It was just one word. "Explain." A vindictive smile formed on Severus's lips. Maybe Potter didn't win this round after all.

XX X XX X XX X XX X X XX X XX X XX X XX X X XX X X XX X X XX X X

 **12 hours earlier**

James grit his teeth in concentration.

"You just have to think of the happiest memory you can, and let it flow through your fingertips." Remus instructed next to him, nibbling on some chocolate.

They were practicing Patronuses with the other future Order Members, being carefully watched by Dumbledore and Alastor Moody. All those successful at the charm were practicing it on a real Dementor that had been captured by the Order. There were recent suspicions that these creatures were going over to Voldemort's side, and the discovery of this Dementor in Diagon Alley only increased their suspicions. The Dementor was being carefully monitored by Dumbledore, as to not lose control of it. But Lily, Alice, Frank, and Remus had already defeated the beast, pushing it back into the chained chest where it was kept. Peter, Sirius, and Marlene were currently attempting their charms on it, silvery animals bursting from their wand tips and corralling it back.

"What's keeping you Potter?" He growled. "Everyone else has produced a corporeal form ages ago."

"I know." James muttered.

Sweat was dripping down his forehead. What was wrong with him? All he'd managed to produce was a few white wisps from the end of his wand. Even when they practiced Patronuses in Defense Against the Dark Arts last year, he'd managed at least a large ball of silver. He looked around the room. All of his friends had managed an animal now. Peter's small glowing rat was scurrying along the floor playfully with Marlene's woodchuck, Sirius's shaggy dog was running with Remus's wolf. Lily's doe (a sight that made his chest hot and full of pride) was loping softly around her. Alice and Frank's sparrows were circling each other lovingly. Even Mary, who'd had more trouble than he did last year, managed to create a gigantic silver whale for a few minutes, before it was too powerful for her and she lost it. Yet he was still struggling.

To be fair, the entire group was pretty ragged by this point. They've spent all day and yesterday practicing, as Dumbledore extended their lessons to each weekend rather than once a month. They'd run obstacles and faced fearsome creatures on Moody's course that he developed for them yesterday. After, they practiced Occlumency, a skill James realized he was complete rubbish at. Each time Moody put the Imperious curse on him, he fought and fought, but always ended up doing exactly what Moody told him. The last time they tried, though, James managed to stop himself from slapping the wall by slapping himself instead. At least it sort of worked. By night, all of them were physically and mentally exhausted. James didn't even say goodnight to anyone, he just walked up the stares and fell into bed, asleep instantly. He barely noticed when Lily crawled in next to him. This morning they had to wake at an atrocious hour to study outside. It was chilly for late February, and he couldn't focus on the lessons because he was too busy shivering and trying not to fall asleep. Then it was off to more physical training. And now. Patronuses.

James groaned in frustration as his wand once again produced useless wisps of silver. Why couldn't he make it work? His memories were certainly happy. It was as if he had some mental block. Maybe it was the dementor's presence, but Moody insisted that it had little to no effect once it was locked away.

"Come on Prongs, you actively transform into a Stag once a month! You can do this." Sirius encouraged quietly. Lily touched his arm. It sent shivers up his spine.

"Try holding your wand a bit more steady." She instructed. He closed his eyes, feeling her next to him. He loved her so much. A newfound confidence gripped him.

"Expecto Patronum!" He called out. The silver wisps returned, swirling into a much denser ball of light. Streams of the white mist were pouring out of his wand, making the room around him dim in the glow of it. James squinted in concentration. The mist was bright white, and was that an antler? He felt Lily next to him, and determination ran through his veins. He had to get this right, so he could protect her if-

Suddenly the ball vanished with a pop. "Argh!" James cried in frustration.

"That's better!" Lily said with a smile. But James was at the end of his rope.

"I just need some air!" He snapped. "Everyone is suffocating me." And with that he stomped out the doors of the room off of Dumbledore's office that they'd been using.

"Come on, James!" Sirius called, but Lily shushed him. She knew when James needed his space, a thought that made guilt twinge in his stomach for snapping at them.

He wandered aimlessly, knowing he'd be in big trouble with Moody when he came back. But for the first time in ages, James didn't care. He felt like being reckless and irresponsible for a bit. Moody was in there training them like they were soldiers, but they were in all reality still kids. Peter still slept with his stuffed Plimpy, Sirius laughed at anything sexual, and Lily. Lily still danced like a fool when everyone was watching, Lily still gasped in amazement at the wonders of the Wizarding world. She made up stories about the stars, and ate dessert like treacle tart for breakfast. They were just kids. And now Moody, the Order, this stupid war, they would beat out all the innocence that was left. James couldn't take it anymore.

He wanted to go somewhere, anywhere. James came upon the first secret passageway in his path, and made to take it. They'd discovered it last fall. It took you to the outskirts of Hogsmede, and would only open if you asked it politely. They would've never found it if Lily hadn't been lecturing them on proper manners, to which they began to tease her ruthlessly.

"My I please enter?" James asked, voice taught. The stone was unyielding. He sighed, temper flaring once again.

"Come on you stupid wall. _PLEASE_ can you just open for me?" He shouted. Again, nothing.

"I'm begging you!" He cried. After a second, it opened, almost reluctantly. "Thank you." James sighed in relief. He climbed through the small opening, ready to take off, when he heard an all-too-familiar voice.

"What do we have here, pet?" Flich asked Mrs. Norris. "A secret passageway?" He began to squint at the wall, tracing the opening with his fingers. James crept backwards. Hopefully he was concealed enough by shadows that he could slip away undetected. Why didn't he check the Map? His heart stopped when Mrs. Norris's lamp-like eyes landed directly on him.

"Someone in there?" Filch asked softly, a snaggle-toothed grin forming. James did the first thing he could think of.

"Bombarda!" He called out. His wand produced a sound akin to a gunshot, and the entrance way was blown outwards. Dust and rubble cascaded around Filch, and he stepped back with an infuriated cry. But the rocks were coming down too fast now. James ducked as one the size of his head fell next to him.

"Shit!"

He began to scramble back, away form the cascading rockfall. The tunnel was narrow and dark, and suddenly the wall behind his back gave way. James fell back into black space.

"Argh." He smacked his head on the stone floor. Igniting the tip of his wand, James surveyed his surroundings. The entrance back to Hogwarts was completely caved in. There was the smallest sliver of light left where he could see the castle. James peered through it longingly, rubbing his throbbing head. Although he'd been quite ready for an escape to Hogsmede, now all he wanted was to lie down. Flich's swears were muffled from the hall, but James saw him through the tiny crack, as he began to work at the stones that separated the two. It would take at least the whole night to do so without magic, but the man seemed determined. Rolling his eyes, James turned back. There was only one way out now.

James started down the tunnel, trying to think of what he would say to Lily when he got back.

"Sorry for blowing up on you, I just can't form a Patronus, so I had a temper tantrum and fled to Hogsmede to lick my wounds. Forgive me?" He muttered sarcastically. She'd be so peeved. Not to mention what Moody would think.

What was wrong with him? Lily would never freak out like this. She always kept her head, no matter how scary Moody's lectures on constant vigilance got. They'd end the day battered and exhausted, but that confident and determined smile of hers never cracked, never showed any hint of doubt. It made him feel doubly guilty for his cowardice. Wrapped up in thought, James was surprised at how suddenly the exit of the tunnel. He unlatched the trap door carefully, peeking out, disheartened to find it pouring. Mud slopped all over his robes as he clamored out. Just the perfect ending to a shitty day.

Groping in his soggy robes, James pulled out his mirror.

"Padfoot!" He hissed. A couple moments went by, and Sirius's harried face appeared.

"James, where the hell have you been?" He asked. "You just bolted on us and-"

"I know, I know, I was being a complete dick." James finished for him. "Look, I need a favor."

Fifteen minutes later James was soaked outside of the Hogwarts Gates. The storm was getting worse, water making James's shoes squishy and fogging up his glasses. He'd tried to duck in to the Three Broomsticks for some warmth (and maybe a hard drink), but it seemed that McGonagall and Slughorn decided it was a good night for a drink as well, so he had to hurry away. It was tough to see in this weather, as the cold February day had turned into an icy night, but there was a shape moving through the trees. A large black dog bounded up to him, morphing into Sirius as soon as he spotted James. For a moment, he eyed his rain-soaked friend quizzically.

"You look like shit." He commented mildly.

"Feel like it too." James shot back. Sirius chuckled, swinging open the gate for his friend.

"Are you going to tell me what this is all about? I know it's not just because of trouble with Patronuses." James kept silent. If he was honest with himself, admitting his fears to Sirius would only make it feel more shameful. Sirius shrugged, "Suit yourself then."

"Too bad you don't have time to change." He commented as they picked their way up to the castle.

"What? Why wouldn't I..." James trailed off, then it clicked. "Shit." He smacked his palm onto his forehead.

"You actually forgot it was the full moon?" Sirius asked him curiously.

"No, no. Just had a lot on my mind I guess." James muttered.

"Well, at least you can dry off in the Shack for a bit." James nodded glumly, beginning to mentally prepare himself for the tough night ahead of him.

At least as a stag, James could push all of his worries and troubles to the back of his mind for a bit. Unfortunately, Remus was proving to be particularly rambunctious tonight. Peter was almost crushed by his thrashing paws, and Sirius and James had to distract the wolf by basically head butting him so Pete could escape. James earned a long slice down the side of his chest for that. The pain was dulled in his animal form, but he knew he'd be sore once he changed back. By the time Remus wore himself out, it was close to four in the morning. James lagged behind his Peter and Sirius. Sirius looked like he wanted to talk more about earlier, but a glorious quality that Peter possessed was knowing when someone needed their space. Plus all three boys were too beat to be up for chatting.

James trudged along, suddenly realizing he was all alone, coming to a stop when Pete and Sirius turned a corner. He let out a tired breath, happy to be alone. Except he wasn't. Shadows moved across the corridor, and Snivellus came into view, an armful of books in his hands. And, for some reason, this made James smirk expectantly.

"Out of bed this late Snivelly? I'd check a broom closet, but there's no way you were with a girl, so." Snape merely rolled his eyes.

"Where's the usual insults?" James taunted. "The usual, 'oh, you'll rue the day Potter'?."

"I'm tired." Snape said shortly. "Stop being a git. Oh, right, that's physically impossible for you to manage."

"Right. Just like it's physically impossible for water to touch you with that coat of grease." James moved in front of him, blocking his way. He felt an old rivalry stirring in his gut, and couldn't help but succumb to his immaturity.

"Move it Potter." He grumbled, seemingly not in the mood. James slammed his hand down quickly, causing Snape's books to tumble from his hands all over the floor.

"You're going to wish you hadn't done that." Snape growled threatening.

"I'm positively shaking in my boots." James mocked. With a flick of his wand, Snape was doubled over, a flock of canaries pecking around him.

"I didn't know these birds were so fond of vermin." James chuckled as Snape shouted in anger, swatting at the birds. He was obviously groping for his wand, so James hit him with a Jelly Leg Jinx to keep him preoccupied. He had a hard satisfaction, watching his old nemesis brought down so easily. But in the back of his head a voice was screaming _no, no you idiot, this is wrong!_ He was distracted though, as he heard a noise that sounded like ruffling of parchment from down the hall. No one appeared to be there though...

"Incarcerous!" Snape shouted. Before James could react, ropes were tangled around him so tightly he could barely move, barely breath. And Snape himself was standing over James with an ugly grin on his pasty face. And, somehow, Lily showed up to save the day in the knick of time.

XX X XX X XX X XX X XX X X XX XX X X XX X

Now she was telling him to explain. How could he possibly explain this cowardice to Lily without her losing all respect for him? He barely had any left for himself.

"James, cut the silent act." Lily said hotly. She wasn't one to let arguments brew, and liked to everything out in the open at once.

"Lily, just promise me-".

"Promise you what? I won't get mad? It's much too late for that Potter." She snapped. Her eyes were hard and narrowed. He hadn't known it was possible, but James's heart sunk even lower. Lily only called him 'Potter' when she was really mad. Or when she was teasing him, but he highly doubted this was the case at the present. They'd reached the Gryffindor Common Room.

"Cauldron Cake." Lily said stiffly, and the Fat Lady swung open.

"How did you even know I was there?" James asked, in an attempt to break the tension. Lily merely handed him the Marauder's Map, refusing to meet his eye. So that's where it was.

Luckily the Common Room was empty, save Frank Longbottom.

"James? What happened to you?" He asked, looking ready to tease him. But he must've noticed the chilly atmosphere between the two, and was silenced.

"What's going on you guys? I'm assuming you're not coming back from a late-night snog session."

"No Frank. We're going to fight." Lily said cooly. With that cue, his friend bade the two goodnight and hurried up to the boys' room.

Lily walked over to the fire, staring down at the dying embers, expression unreadable. James sensed she was preparing what to say, and waited. Finally she spoke. Her voice was deadly quiet.

"Do you know how worried I was? You stormed out of Order training and went MIA for the entire rest of the night. I figured you were fine, you just needed some space. I trusted you to get your shit together and come back to apologize. Then Sirius said he was getting you from Hogsmede. I thought, he couldn't possibly be that daft to wander off school grounds without telling anyone. But I guess you were." Her cool glare met his eyes. "I worried all night over you. Finally, I saw your dot appear on the map, walking back from the Shack. Then you ran into Sev. When I saw both your names I sprinted out of bed to save you. I thought he was _attacking_ you!" Her voice had risen to a shout. Angry tears were pooling at the corners of her eyes. I broke James's heart.

"What do you have to say for yourself?" She asked quietly. James tensed. What did he? Basically nothing. She was right, he had been acting daft, he'd let her down, for no reason other than his own selfish needs.

"Lily-" James choked. He had a painful lump in this throat. This was it. James Potter could feel himself about to break. Hot, fat tears fell down his cheeks. James staggered, and Lily steadied him with a soft grip. She looked at him, ice melting ever so slightly from her vibrant green eyes. Raw, acidic shame filled James, and the tears came faster. It was as if a dam, holding all his emotions and fears, had broke.

"I'm just so scared Lily. What if, when we get out there, we're fighting the war for the rest of our lives? What if one of us gets hurt, or killed? What if I can't be there to protect yous" He threw his glasses on the couch and rubbed his damp eyes on his sleeves, trying to gain composure.

"I know I've been keeping up a brave front for you. But inside, I'm terrified all the time. Every second we're training for the Order, I'm scared. I just don't know what I would do if something would happen to you." He stuttered and fell silent. James had never felt like such a wreck. Here he was breaking down in front of his fiance who'd been nothing but strong. It was so very unfair of him.

"So that's why I went for Snape." He said gruffly.

"You went after Severus because you were scared?" Lily asked neutrally.

"Well when you put it that way..." James muttered. He fumbled for words. "I guess I hated all this responsibility for a bit. With being Head Boy, training for the Order, I don't know, it all felt so scary and big. I ran off to Hogsmede, then got into it with Snape, because I just wanted to feel like a kid for a bit. One who breaks the rules without a lot of consequences, one who is just worried about some petty school rivalry, not if him and his wife are going to survive long after graduation." He looked up at Lily. Her expression was noticeably softer than before.

"I was a git." He said.

"You most certainly were." She replied.

"Do you remember last year when we became friends? You said, sometimes, you'd let it slide when my gittish tendencies slipped out?" James asked, looking at her hopefully. A reluctant smile played across her face.

"I suppose I can let it slide this once." She said playfully. "But one more thing before I let you off the hook. If you were so afraid, why didn't you tell me?"

James gulped. "I guess I didn't want you to be disappointed in me. You're nothing but brave and confid-"

"James." She silenced him with a very intense look. "I'm scared all the time."

"Really?" He asked. She smiled.

"Really. But we fight through our fears for what's right. That's why we're in Gryffindor, and that's why I love you." James's chest lightened and filled with warmth.

"Lily Evans, you are truly remarkable." James said.

"I know, quite the catch, eh Potter?" She asked coyly, sauntering around the fireplace. James grinned because now she called him by his last name, and it wasn't from anger anymore. Suddenly, a thought hit him. It may not work, but it was worth a try. He wasn't necessarily more happy now, but James felt this glowing in his chest that told him he could do it. Why not?

Raising his wand, James called out "Expecto Patronum!" In a low voice. This time, there was no struggling for concentration, no straining for a happy memory. It was as easy as waving his hand. The silver streams poured from his wand, casting light around the once-dim common room. Wisps of silver floated around them, giving Lily's body an unearthly glow. She looked around in awe and delight as more light filled the room. Suddenly, a glistening white stag burst from the end of James's wand tip. It reared its handsome head in joy, prancing around the room. Lily laughed in awe.

"You did it James!" She cried, grabbing his waist and kissing his cheek.

"I have you to thank for that, love." James said softly, looking at her with adoration. As if on cue, his stag trotted over, nuzzling its head on Lily's shoulder. She laughed softly, running her fingers through the opaque mist that made up James's Patronus. It took one last jaunt around the room, before fading and disappearing. The mist slowly disappeared with it.

"Moody will be thrilled." Lily teased. James grinned.

"After he kills me for ducking out." He said. Lily smiled, pulling him up from the sofa.

"Come on. Something tells me you've had a long day and are ready for bed." She said. Leading him up to his room, James thought back on his day. He couldn't have asked for a better ending. It wasn't as if his fears vanished, but for now they'd been quashed by love and hope, the source of which came from once certain redheaded Head Girl.


	12. A Final Hurrah

**I'm back from the dead! Sorry for the incredibly long break, I had my wisdom teeth out and then had just the worse case of writer's block. I'm not even sure how I feel about this chapter, but we shall see. Anyways, Reviews are amazing, so please do it! We're close to the finish now...**

 **xx x xx x x xx x x xxx x**

Albus Dumbledore was a complex man, with many hidden facets and unturned secrets. He has been careful in his age to preserve himself, watching the mishaps or mistakes of so many of his students. Because of this, he felt as if he was regarded quite reproachfully by many, especially students who are intimidated enough by the unknown. Sometimes, he pictured himself a mysterious omniscient being, watching the lives of his charges flit and flourish around him. Of course, this was much too pretentious for Albus to take seriously, and his mind never ceased to amaze himself with the goings on of youth, the secrets of the castle and the people who dwell in it.

It has been imperative, in Albus's mind, to keep a watchful and compassionate eye over every student, especially when the tensions of the outside world have began to threaten the sanctity of the Hogwarts halls. He often feels his efforts are too little to late with some, as if he is swimming to the surface with feet to go, but runs out of precious air, and cannot kick or claw quick quite enough. Of course, there are other cases that surprise him, marvelous examples of human good played out in the interactions of school children.

It is interactions such as these that give Albus hope, interactions that he must remind himself of when he travels the world and is able to see the darkness that is only a trickle of shadows inside the castle. These cases often circulate around specific charges of his, but can also be impressive acts of bravery from those who normally fade into the background. Albus often enjoys thinking back on these events at the end of the year, the end of some students' education, where they will begin to truly carve their paths into the future.

Take Sirius Black for instance.

The very first time the boy came into the Great Hall, he had a peculiar mix of terror and smugness on his face. Smugness that was wiped away when he was placed into Gryffindor. Albus recalled the first few weeks of that year, Black seemed on the cusp of falling. One way, into the crippling intimidation of his cousins and family, into their web. The other way, one of hardship and defiance, one that would put him into history, if only a small history at that.

The choice was made the same day that Black was sent to Albus's office for the very first time. He had been practicing levitating charms in class, as was usual for First years. That was, until he had levitated a certain Slytherin boy that was teasing a muggle-born sitting next to him. He had levitated the boy onto one of the cross beams that supported the high ceiling of Flitwick's classroom, and it had taken an hour to get him down. Black sat in front of Albus with a defiant expression on his face, eyes blazing. That was a small moment in the boy's history, but one that Albus could see resonated with him each proceeding time they met (usually for the outrageous pranks the boy pulled with the help of his friends.)

And, conversely, there are instances of students who have fallen, those who may have had potential but could not summon the courage or will to pursue it. What always comes to Albus's mind, would be one Severus Snape.

The boy, like Black, seemed on the edge of a knife, for many of his young years in school. Like Black, he had a disadvantage in his home life, growing around hate and cruelty. But there was hope for the boy. Unfortunately, his fate took a turn for the unfavorable in his later years at school, when he began to show more intense obsession with the Dark Arts, and distanced himself from purity and strength. Albus remembers one instance most of all: a group of young men had been found with one Mary MacDonald, her skin bruised and eyes terrified. They were torturing her, boys of the age of fifteen were practicing cruel dark magic on this girl. Albus had been called immediately, his heart heavy as he strode towards the dungeons. In his the corner of his eye, he saw black hair whip swiftly into a dark corridor, and knew Snape had been at least somewhat responsible. It was from then on that he watched the boy's decline into Dark Arts, into the trap of his peers and his family had set for him. But, given the circumstances, Albus always felt for students such as these, who may have simply made all the wrong choices.

But he is becoming lost in his thoughts. He tends to do this at the end of the spring, when students are at their most boisterous and relaxed. Exams are over, and summer is fast approaching. To many students, this means returning to the real world, the dangers it holds. And for a certain group, the return is permanent.

And now to the matter at hand. The handful of those aforementioned students, the Seventh years with only a day left in their time here, sitting in front of him.

James Potter was nursing his bruised elbow, avoiding Albus's gaze as if his life depended on it. He looked very much like his father now, lanky frame now grown more angular and mature. His wild charcoal hair was full of twigs, undoubtably from falling earlier. As Albus expected, he was the first to speak.

"Professor, the entire plan was my idea." He stated loudly. His peers began to protest. Albus held up a hand in silence.

"Mr. Potter, I recall a time, not too many years ago, where you would be the last person to claim blame for your wrongdoings. Especially not if others were involved." The boy's ears turned pink with his unexpected compliment, and he seemed shocked into silence.

This was not the first time Albus Dumbledore had seen James Potter drunk. The first time was many years ago. James was raw and wild, full of anger and confusion. Albus recalled the boy running as fast as he could around the castle, being followed by a blur of fiery hair. That was the last time Albus had seen James Potter drunk, when Lily Evans came to his rescue.

Lily Evans was also here now, in Albus's office, twisting her bright red hair around her fingers in guilt. This was, however, the first time Albus had seen Ms. Evans drunk. The pair, Head Boy and Girl, were sitting closest to Albus, almost protectively surrounding their friend seated behind them. Albus did have to admire their loyalty to friends, as well as their attempts to appear sober. These attempts were very much thwarted however when Potter closed his eyes sleepily, and fell out of his chair.

Laughter punctuated the room. James pulled himself together quickly, looking sheepish.

"Prongs, you're a mess." It was Sirius Black, though it was a bit hard to tell through his thick layer of red paint adorning his body. Albus's cool gaze silenced the boy, and he felt now was a good time to speak.

"So, I presume you all know the seriousness of your actions tonight." He said neutrally. It was easy to see the effect his words gave to the trio. Lily looked about ready to vomit (although, it could have been from the drink), and Sirius was white as a sheet. Albus felt a small smile grip his face.

He had found the Black and Potter, very unsurprisingly, in the middle of a prank. Though he was not quite sure the logistics of the prank itself. Albus had found a delight in discovering the newest mischief that the four self-deemed 'marauders' had cooked up. Although it meant him usually distributing detentions and Filch breathing down his neck, the creativity and care brought to each scheme was a bit admirable. He must have caught the boys in the beginning stages though, for this prank was clearly only partially finished. It seemed to be some tribute to their leaving tomorrow, a last hurrah of sorts. The boys, once knowing they were caught by Albus, had tried to climb down the tall tree that was only a few paces from the Astronomy Tower, when they suddenly turned invisible. Albus was quite bemused, before catching a glimpse of a dark figure on the top of the tower, assumably the spellcaster. It was far too late for trying to hide, he had mused, and he in turn cast his own charm on the figure, levitating them down slowly from the tower. To his surprise (though it wasn't a great surprise), it was Lily Evans.

"I would've came down myself, you know." She had grumbled, clearly trying to hide the terror of being caught. Thinking back, Albus couldn't remember if the girl had ever gotten caught breaking school rules before. But, he figured, there was much more to Lily Evans than met the eye. Unfortunately, Albus didn't know about the paint. So, when Ms. Evans's elbows brushed the bows of the tree, gallons of the stuff began to fall. It coated the two, priorly invisible boys, who'd been trying to make a break for it. It coated the bottom half of Lily's robes. And it coated Albus.

And that's what led them here, on the last night of school, Albus behind his desk, three paint-covered Seventh years before him. Three drunk, paint-covered Seventh years.

"We're so sorry professor! All of our actions tonight were disrespectful and wrong." Lily called out in dismay. Albus swore heard Black whisper "kiss-ass".

"That's right. I roped Lily into it, she'd never have done it if I didn't convince her." Potter said, still clearly trying to defend his friends. "I'm the delinquent, I should be punished."

"Hey! If anyone's the delinquent here it's me. Who planned to put a watch so far away? It's a miracle we even got that far." Sirius said derisively.

Their bickering almost made Albus laugh. The three were so loyal, so ready to take the blame. Although Black seemed more like he had a reputation of shenanigans to uphold, his heart was clearly in the right place.

"Alright you three." Albus said softly. They quieted. "I assume you weren't the only ones involved." Lily's transparent face gave the answer away.

"May I ask, what were you all planning to do?" There was silence for some length, as they grappled with the consequences that could come from telling versus the consequences of them not telling.

"Paint the tower with Gryffindor colors." James finally mumbled. Albus smiled. This was not even as wild as he'd imagined. Albus decided he may as well give them a bit of a speech.

"Tomorrow, you'll be leaving on the Express with no guarantee that you will return. And now, you've decided to waste your last night at this school in my office." The three looked dreadfully ashamed. Albus softened.

"So, with that in mind, there is no real reason to punish the lot of you." They gaped. Black let out a whoop, to which Lily elbowed him.

"Sir, why aren't we getting detention or something?" She asked, eyes wide.

"How could I give you detention when you're already graduated?" Dumbledore asked, feeling his eyes sparkle with amusement. The three seemed a bit slow to understand his logic, James crinkling his eyes with confusion.

"The points are in, the Cup's already been awarded, and I'm afraid it is too late. You're now adults, out of my reach to punish you. And I am thankful for that, as I believe Mr. Filch would have a conniption to see Potter and Black back with him once more." Dumbledore smiled benevolently, and the three students began to smile as well.

"Thank you sir, that's very generous of you." Lily said, between hiccups that had started in the middle of his speech. James stretched his drunken hands out to shake Albus's, and nearly fell over. Sirius looked ready to bolt for the door.

Albus gave them a nod, signaling their dismissal, and they got up to exit the office.

"Oh, before you go." Albus called. Their faces whipped back, eyes frightened that he'd changed his mind.

"I look forward to seeing you at the Order Meeting next week."


	13. Black and Hazel and Red

She saw blurs of dark, then flashes of color. Blue stars, purple streaks, yellow balls of light popped in her eyes. In the distance, she felt pain. It was gnawing at her, but it seemed like it was far away. Actually, it was right here, but _she_ was far away. How very strange.

Some part of her recognized that something was wrong, but it was a small part, like a child whispering from behind. If she focused very hard, she realized how heavy everything was. She couldn't move, didn't know if she even had parts to move anymore. It was as if she was buried in heavy snow, the kind that would fall around Christmas, fat flakes just on the verge of becoming water once more. That would explain the lights, if it was Christmastime, but something told her that this was a much different circumstance.

A flash of memory came back to her. It was frightening and queer. A pair of bloodied red eyes, eyes that were on a person but shouldn't be on a person. Eyes narrowed into slits, eyes like a snake. And a cold, hard voice raking down her spine. That went along with the eyes, but she couldn't remember anything else and the heaviness was getting too unbearable once more, so she stopped trying to think.

The colors changed once and a while, from yellows to greens (though the greens terrified her), to oranges to purples. She couldn't tell how long she'd been like this, couldn't even tell if time was a constraint on her anymore. Maybe this was how she would spend the rest of her days, laying down and staring at the colors.

She _was_ laying down, wasn't she. When the heaviness wasn't too bad, she felt her back against something, a soft thing. Grass, maybe? She could barely remember what grass looked like, what anything looked like. All she could remember was the cold voice in her ears.

 _filthy mudblood._ It had said.

 _how dare you attempt to defy me?_ It had questioned.

 _your death will be easier to me than killing a fly._ It had threatened.

The voice made things cold, and suddenly the colors were interrupted by veins of black. She felt her body shuddering, so she guessed she still had a body somewhere. That was a relief. The black made everything dimmer, but suddenly her ears were there. She felt them on either side of her, cold and alert. She heard whispers of voices now too, voices that were very close but she was very far away from, like the pain. Although, if she focused, the pain _was_ getting closer, which scared her but also made her think that maybe she wasn't destined to lay here forever.

 _"She's been like this for a week Moony, I don't know what chance we have anymore."_

 _"We've got to keep faith. Moody said that it'll take her a while, with what she's been through."_

 _"Why did we let them go alone?"_

 _"They were the only chance we had. And they succeeded."_

 _"I don't think I can live with myself if they die."_

She heard the whispers, but didn't understand. A word came to her. Friends. Those were her friends. They were talking about someone, more than one, they were fearing these people would die. One of them must be her.

 _James._ The name popped into her head with a beautiful burst of colors. Bright green of grass (she remembered what it looked like now!) and maroon. Hard woody colors, soft pitch black that was different from the other blacks. Hazel. Those were his eyes. The hazel banished the terrifying red, it filled her with thoughts. Well, beginnings of thoughts. There was golden flagons of Butterbeer and foam covering his face. There was two hands, a freckly small one and a rough one with very long fingers, stroking each other lovingly. There was a broken pair of glasses and his voice screaming at her to get out of here. James must be the other that is dying.

The thought filled her with heaviness. But then, anger. James can't die. He was too pure and lovely. He can't die at the hands of that psychotic killer. _Voldemort._ The man with the snake eyes and long fingers, but not warm and playful like James's, but rough and cruel. She willed herself to fight the heaviness. Her ears fought to hear more, her fingers fought to move. She was delighted to discover that she still had them, now the second body parts she could feel independently.

 _"Did you see that Mary? She twitched!"_

 _"She's been shivering for days, Mar. I don't know if that's much of an accomplishment."_

 _"No, no that was different. I'm sure of it."_

The voices, the friends, they were right. It _was_ different. The heaviness was getting smaller, but where it shrank the pain enveloped. It was torture to wiggle her ear. It was hell to clench her jaw. But she fought through, the hazel guiding her back. She needed to get back to them, her friends, James, even to Voldemort. She needed to get back to Voldemort to kill him and everyone who fought for him. The colors began to soften, and the heaviness fell away. All that was left was over her eyes, like two balls of iron forcing them shut.

She was beginning to remember as well. The safehouse had been attacked. There were innocent men and women, fugitives of the war, Muggle-borns with unjust prices on their heads. The Order had been protecting these men and women, until that day. It was milky white outside, the house a like scar of black against the clouds. Lily and James were tearing towards it as fast as they could. The top window exploded with a bang. Screams could be heard.

 _Get everyone out alive._ That was the goal. Benjy Fenwick and Sirius and Remus were on watch that day. Fenwick's corpse was lying on the living room rug when they entered. They failed in their goal before they could even begin. James took her hand, white as a sheet. Quick as lightning, they took out the two Death Eaters in the kitchen, who were too caught up in their fun to notice the newcomers. They'd been controlling one child with their wands, torturing the parents with the other. The family sobbed in relief, and Lily held them close. In a closet down the hall they found a little boy and his grandmother hiding. Grabbing the two families, ushering them to the door. The group took Fenwick's wand and Apparated out. _Only Sirius and Remus and the Newcastles left._ James had told her, and she felt a seed of hope inside her. But then the onslaught truly began.

Lily remembered her hand slipping out of James's. She remembered Sirius's face, how terrifying it was when they found him. She remembered making him go, making him find Remus and get out. There was so much blood, oh God it was too much. Sirius did it though, for he was standing above her right now. Remus was with him. She could tell from their gruff and familiar voices, guiding her back to sanity. But where was James?

 _Come on Lily, just open your eyes. We need you here._

 _Look Sirius! She's moving again, just like Marlene described yesterday._

 _Do you think she's waking up?_ Silence.

 _Only way we can find out is when she opens her eyes._

Open your eyes. She had to do it. OPEN YOUR EYES! She thought back to the safe house, where Voldemort was torturing the Newcastles. She thought of the Death Eater that she'd hit so hard with a countercurse that she heard a _crunch_ in his bones. She thought of the spell Voldemort hit her with, a spell that made her blood stop and pain abound. She though of his taunts and James falling next to her with a thud. She thought of how she battled with Voldemort, even while she was on the ground barely conscious she fought. This angered him enough to hit her with something that put her into black. But she heard James groan and barely realized it, but they'd Apparated out.

And now she had to wake up. Her friends needed her. James needed her. The last color she saw was hazel, and the iron balls of heaviness were removed.

Lily opened her eyes.

xx x xx x xx x xx x x xx x xx xx x xx x x

"No way, the Harpies have a much stronger defense!" James cried, while Lily was rolling with laughter. Him and Sirius were in a more heated debate about Quidditch than she'd ever seen. Sirius was now seeming ready to charge like a bull, getting more and more worked up since James commented that Puddlemere was lacking this year. Lily and Remus had started commentating their argument like announcers. _And Black's in the lead for calling Potter a twat. Potter brings it back with a quick blow to Black's ego._ But now, she was laughing too hard to speak.

It was Sixth year, right before Christmas. The castle was bedecked in so much holiday cheer you could drown in it. Lily loved it at this time, especially since she was choosing to stay back this year. Petunia had written about her new boyfriend, an important man who she very much wanted to make a good impression on. _He's planning to take over a drill company, s_ he had written, each letter dripping with lovesickness. And Lily would undoubtably muck it up for her, so she requested her sister's absence at the house. She remembered the burning tears of shame when she read the letter, crinkled it, and threw it in the fire. But Marlene and James had taken her to the kitchens after and they ate a whole roll of cookie dough.

"I'm surprised you didn't get a Potter Special." She whispered to him. His hazel eyes sparkled.

"I'm surprised you even remember what that is." He replied.

Of course she remembered. James and Lily were a complex pair, that being just one of the facets of their relationship, if that's what one could call it. Actually, since the night before Sixth year began, he was nothing but a sweetheart to Lily. She didn't notice him hexing anyone (although, it's been a while since he really did that anyway), and he always brought her tea when she was up late studying. Lily learned more about James than she ever had know, about his family and his aspirations. She learned, also, that she liked being his friend. And he seemed to like being hers as well.

"Lily, what do you have to say?" Lily was snapped back to the present. James was now on the ground under Sirius's powerful tackle. His glasses were crooked and dangling dangerously off his head. There was a dangerous smirk on his lips.

"Take it back!" Sirius growled.

"Never! Let Evans be the decider."

"I barely know anything about Quidditch! Mudblood, remember?" She pointed at herself. All the boys made a derisive or unpleasent sound at her use of the word, but she only smiled larger. She'd been calling herself a Mudblood a lot lately, as to normalize the word. Slytherins would hear her talking like that and just gawk. They didn't have any ammo to hurt her with. It was quite satisfying.

"Who cares that you're _muggle-born?"_ James said the last word with emphasis. Though Lily liked her new approach, the rest of her friends, loyal as ever, refused to go with her. "You're still bloody brilliant! So Merlin's beard, tell Padfoot he's wrong!"

Lily smiled. Truthfully, she didn't even know what the question was, but something about James's compliment made her decide anyway. Giggling, she pointed at James and nodded.

"I side with Potter."

Sirius howled in rage, and in a surprisingly graceful move, got up and stomped out of the Common Room.

The three left in the room burst out laughing, disturbing a table of Third Years that were frantically studying. Remus cast a glance over to the door.

"Let him sulk. He needs to realize how overrated Puddlemere is anyway." James said cheerfully.

"Actually, I was thinking more along the lines of all the books I still need to catch up-"

"Nooooo!" James and Lily said in unison, again disturbing the Third years. One shot them a nasty glance, to which Lily stuck her tongue out.

"Come on Remus, it's almost the holidays! I saw you come back from the library at three last night, there's no way you need more homework." Lily scoffed.

Their friend looked uneasy. "It's the full moon tomorrow, Merlin knows I can't study then..." He said quietly. James and Lily shared a look. They've been doing that a lot lately, if Lily thought about it. But Remus was a special case, as he was constantly worrying, especially as it got nearer to his transformation.

Then thud of the portrait hole caught their attention. It was Alice and Marlene and Mary, all cheering.

"Divinations over!" Alice cried. Lily had dropped the subject last year, as she'd always been rubbish and secretly thought the whole thing might be a sham.

"Now we don't have to suffocate on noxious perfume or look at bloody crystal balls till January!" Marlene said. The group cheered boisterously. The Third years packed up their things and went upstairs.

"I'd say this calls for a celebration, doesn't it Moony?" James asked, elbowing his friend. Remus seemed completely out of his worried funk at James's words. Lily beamed, always admiring how James knew exactly what his friends needed to cheer up.

"Snowball fight, Prongs?" Remus asked, grinning.

"I think you mean snowball _war,_ my lad." James said. The friends chattered excitedly, picking up newcomers from groups arriving in the portrait hole, or those too sick of studying and wanting a break. Soon there was a big cluster of them, clad in scarves and fuzzy mittens. Lily was glad it had finally snowed last night, and hoped it wouldn't be too muddy from the rain they'd gotten earlier this week. James came down in handsome earmuffs, red wool standing out against his jet black mess of hair.

"Evans is that you? I could barely recognize from that scarf eating your face." He joked.

"Piss off Potter." Lily snarked, but it was muffled by the huge yellow scarf tightly wrapped around her face, so James only laughed louder.

His laugh was infectious, and she couldn't help but to join in. Sirius came in, adding much more excitement to the room, and slung his arm around James, their squabble totally forgotten. The trio began discussing tactics, where was good coverage, where to take advantage of unsuspecting students and cream them with snowballs. Peter came in the portrait hole just as the gang of students was about to head outside.

"Wormy! Just in time!" James cried, but then got quiet. Lily turned around and saw Peter. He looked dreadful, eyes puffy and bloodshot, fingers stained almost unrecognizably with ink.

"I-Ive been with McGonagall for hours." Peter stuttered quietly. His nose sounded very stuffy. "She still said my essay was barely worth a Dreadful." He looked like he was trying very hard not to cry. The rest of the group milled about, barely noticing his hunched frame. But James's expression softened.

"She didn't even like your paragraph on living object transfiguration? I thought that one was wonderful." He said, quiet enough not to attract attention. His face was open and kind, and he put a hand on Peter's shoulder comfortingly.

"No, and I worked all night on it too." Peter said miserably. Lily wasn't sure if the moment was too private for her to observe, but decided to grasp Peter's hand instead.

"Oh Petey." James murmured as their friend sniffled. Lily told him that transfiguration was bloody complicated, and she only got an A on the last test.

"But you're so smart." He said in surprise.

"So are you." She said. James looked at her, eyes deep and warm. His expression was one of deep admiration, almost so that Lily blushed. But Sirius's excited shouts snapped them out of their moment.

"Prongs, let's go! I'm sweating my arse off in this coat!" The group cheered. Lily looked around, as she'd almost forgotten about the snowball fight for a second.

"You guys go." James said easily. There were protests from the group. "It's fine!" He called, "I'll be there later to kick your arses later." The excited Gryffindors began to file out of the room. Their voices could be heard from down the hall, bouncing off the corridor walls. After the portrait hole finally shut, the silence in the Common room was jarring.

"Alright Peter." James said confidently, turning to his friend. "I'm going to help you with this essay until McGonagall is forced to give you an O out of the sheer awesomness of it."

"You can't write it for me, James." Peter said, seeming alarmed. James laughed.

"Of course not. I'm just going to help you in the parts you're stuck on. You've got Anamagi down, right?"

"Duh." Peter laughed quietly. It was the first time Lily saw him smile since he'd arrived. "What kind of Animagius would I be otherwise?"

"A bloody bad one, I'd reckon." James grinned. "Then that just leaves non-human objects. Let's get started!" Peter, seemingly gratified beyond words, simply nodded and took up a table. He spread his books out, and James began taking off his things. He glanced back at Lily, and frowned in confusion.

"Evans, why aren't you outside wreaking havoc with everyone else?" He asked.

"I-I, well, I just." Lily stammered. Why was she still up here? Why couldn't she stop looking at Potter helping his dear friend?

"You're such a Gryffindor." She said finally. James's eyebrows shot up from the complement.

"Why?"

"You're there for your friends so much. It's just..." _Adorable, admirable?_ "Sweet." Lily finished, feeling foolish. Why could she suddenly not talk to him?

"I'd die for them." James replied simply. He had a very fierce look on his face. Lily felt swirls of warmth and tingles of butterflies. It was unlike anything she'd felt before. James was so unexpected. She used to think of him merely as a pig-headed trouble maker. Now, he was so much different, so much _more._

"Anyways." James said, after the silence had drawn out long enough for it to become awkward. Lily focused, looking back at his hazel eyes.

"You go." He said, "I'll be down as soon as Pete feels better." Lily nodded.

"I'll shove snow down Sirius's pants for you." She promised.

He chortled. "You better." And he turned to go to Pete, eyes now glued to his parchment. His shoulders squared as if he was about to go to battle. Impulsively, Lily reached down and grabbed his arm.

"Potter?" She asked, when he turned to look at her, surprised by her touch.

"Evans?"

"I hope you know, I'd die for you." She said. His eyes widened for a second. Something deep in her gut made her certain that he _needed_ to know this.

"I'd die for you too."

xx xxx xxx xxx xx x xx

But she didn't want him to die for her.

Lily blinked, eyes looking blearily around. She was at another safehouse, this on the edge of Hogsmede in a building disguised as an out-of-business potion supply shop. She'd been here before a few times, when she actually did have to make specific potions for the Order. Mostly Verituserum, but sometimes protection potions, sometimes potions to obscure an object. This room was on the top floor, which had a couple beds and things for those passing by who needed to stay in Hogsmede for a couple nights. The darkened window indicated it was either really late or really early.

"Lil?" A voice croaked. She turned her head, which was not as easy as she imagined, to find Remus. His face was pale and haggard, more haggard than usual.

" _Re-"_ She tried to say his name, but it came out as a harsh whisper. She coughed harshly, and Remus rushed worriedly to fetch her a glass of water.

Hands shaking, she took the cup from him.

"Don't try to speak, it'll hurt your throat." He said calmly. His eyes were red, deep purple bags decorating them. The water was refreshing.

"How long?" Lily asked, ignoring his suggestion.

"About two weeks. It's almost December." Remus said, looking at her with broken eyes. Lily gasped, and hacked once more.

"It's a miracle, Lils, a real miracle." Remus continued. "Look at us, we're all alive. You and James..." He trailed, eyes falling again.

"James?" She whispered, afraid to hear. Remus was quiet. There was muffled shouting from the staircase. Peter and Marlene and Sirius were thundering up the stairs.

"She's awake!" Sirius basically screamed with joy. Lily felt her unused muscles twitch up into a smile. Her friends flocked her bed, looking at her with such love and happiness.

"Thank Merlin for that." Marlene teased. "With Red gone no one could keep Black in line." But her voice cracked and Lily reached out to grab her shaking hand.

"You lot helped me get back." She whispered, overcome with emotion. The group smiled down at her with watery eyes.

"Lily, you wouldn't believe what's been going on here." Peter said excitedly. "Alice and Frank are undercover on the bastards that escaped the safehouse, but once and a while we'll get updates. And Mary's working with Dumbledore..." The group's chatter fell into the background. She closed her eyes, enjoying the lilts of their voices, the crescendos of excitement of softness when they were serious.

"Remus is starting to work with some Werewolves too. Bloody nasty lot though." Sirius grimaced. Remus nudged him reproachfully, and he smirked.

"You know, guys, this is lovely but I'm exhausted." Lily said suddenly. The group quieted.

"Of course." Remus said, squeezing her shoulder. "We shouldn't overwhelm you."

"Thanks." Lily smiled. Remus and Sirius gave her kisses on the forehead, and Marlene was left, looking at her.

"What if you never wake up again?" She asked, like a little kid. Lily's insides twisted painfully.

"I will, Mar. You think I'd ever leave you alone for even one second?" Marlene smiled, but a tear dropped. The two hugged for some length and she bade Lily goodnight. The door shut with a gentle snap. Lily was alone.

She breathed deeply, soaking in what her friends had told her. Two weeks she'd been here. Two weeks she'd battled against death. And James was still alive. But what if he was losing that battle right now, and she wasn't there to help him fight? She couldn't even stand the thought.

Lily sat, a slow and arduous process, until she was upright. There was another bedroom down the hall, and she guessed that was where he must be. The cold floor was a shock to her feet, but she liked it after lying down for so long.

With a heave, Lily was off of her bed, ready to find her fiance.


End file.
